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Is there a polite way to say...

SP29SP29 member
First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
in Registry and Gift Forum
My FI and I have created a registry with BBB.

At first we weren't so much into it, but was advised to go with a registry as there are guests who will bring a gift anyway, so best to get something that would be used (and who doesn't like completion discounts!). We do have friends who have openly said (regarding other friend's weddings) that they do not like to give cash, always gift. 

No mention of the registry was made on/ with the invitation, but it is on our wedding website (under a separate tab).

The "issue" stems from the fact that my FI and I live away from our hometown, and we are having the wedding in our hometown, which requires us to fly. As I'm sure you know, there is no room for anything extra on a plane, so we cannot bring gifts back with us, should we get any.

What is good about BBB, is if gifts are ordered in store, shipping is free, but if ordered online, there will be a shipping fee.

Now, this really isn't about getting the gifts- I do not expect guests to give a gift, but knowing that some will, what I do care about is people having to spend extra money to ship us a gift. 

I would like to politely word on our wedding website that if guests would like to give a gift, seeing that we cannot bring gifts on the plane, that they can get free shipping ordering through the store. 

Is this appropriate to say? 
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Re: Is there a polite way to say...

  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Nope. And people might still bring physical gifts to the wedding. It is then your responsibility to get them home, whether that means on the plane, shipping them to yourself, or returning and rebuying.
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I wouldn't say that. It kind of comes off as "give us a gift but make sure it doesnt inconvenience us". I realize that's definitely not how you mean it so I'd just leave it out.

    Your guests probably realize you're flying so bringing gifts home won't be easy. Just fly Southwest and bring a couple of extra bags in case you do get boxed gifts. Easy peasy.
    *********************************************************************************

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  • lisabeatslisabeats member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    My wedding logistics were the same, and more than most people "got it." They will understand you're traveling and put two and two together. Make sure your registry address is where you live now, so when guests want to send you something, they can opt to send it to you directly, and there is no cost difference between shipping to their house or your house. I second the fact that in-store shipping is free only if it wasn't available in stores.

    I am saying this hesitantly, because I don't think it's the easiest or simplest way, but you can also return any gifts you get in your hometown to BBB there. Then you can get a gift card for that amount for the return, and go purchase the item back in the town where you live. Again, this is not something I encourage everyone to do or anything, but for 1 very large item we were given from another store, it made more sense to us, since not only was it large and difficult to travel with, it was rather fragile. Best of luck.
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  • SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    We were told by the sales person with the registry that anything bought in store off the registry would be shipped for free. 

    I can't fly Southwest. I'm in Canada with two airlines to choose from. Only allowed so many extra baggage (and we will have lots anyway!). Would be nice if we could bring whatever we wanted.

    Anyway- the advice makes sense. People will "get it". I have had a couple people ask about the registry, so I thought it would be helpful to put that stuff down, but I guess that can left to word of mouth, should someone inquire. 

    Thanks! 
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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited August 2013
    Some people feel like they have to carry in a gift. Others know that - regardless of the wedding's proximity to the reception venue - the bride and groom's lives are made easier by shipping the gifts. Everyone knows, they just want to do it their own way and to tell them otherwise is inconsiderate.

    I would plan on spending an hour or two the day after the wedding at BBB returning gifts with the intention of re-buying them at my local BBB. They offer returns and it should be no problem with the gift receipt or your registry that shows it purchased. I would call the BBB you will do the returning and give them a heads up. It will probably be the one your guests purchased from in the first place, so they should understand and might offer to resell it to you on the spot with free shipping!
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    That's interesting to know photokitty- thanks. 


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  • dancinxqueen324dancinxqueen324 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    We are in the same boat and just figured we would cross that bridge when we come to it. The only thing from my shower that couldn't come on the plane with us was a china place setting. I returned it to the BBB in my hometown and "repurchased" it right there. They just shipped it for free to my apt! It was super easy, and even though the sales tax is higher in the state they were shipping it to, they didn't charge me the difference! Hopefully it's just as easy if we have a bunch of gifts to get home after the wedding!
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  • SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    @dancinxqueen324 that's awesome BBB did that.


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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    "Is there a polite way to say ..." If you have to ask...
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  • SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I asked because I didn't know if it were appropriate or not- I've never had a gift registry for something, or had people travelling from so far, or me travelling so far, for an event. I've not found a book that tells you, "this is everything you can and can not do for a gift registry (or wedding for that matter)", so I asked. As I said, I don't care about getting gifts, but if someone were going to purchase off our registry, I would like them to know about ways it would be easier and cheaper for them. 
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