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Re: j

  • MayDay513MayDay513 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments 5 Answers First Anniversary
    hotmamameghan said:

    I was just asked to be a personal attendant for someone who I thought was a very close friend. I have known her for 20 years and we grew up together and I have been there for her through everything. We haven't been as close in the past couple years (I had my son, she was in college) but I still talk to her on a regular basis. When I found out she was engaged, we had dinner and I made sure to get her a card and present saying congrats. I had been hoping to be in her wedding as a bridesmaid, but she texted me this morning, yes she texted, asking me to be her personal attendant. When I saw that text I broke down in tears. I was so hurt and so offended. She said she needed someone she "trusted" to do this job. HA! I then asked who her bridesmaids were.. she has 7, 3 of which are her sister and SIL and the other 4 are friends. I just feel stupid and awkward. Especially since one of the bridesmaids is my other good friend.

    Has this happened to any of you before? I told her I would do it before I realized what it was.

    That really sucks. A personal attendant is like an honorary SLAVE for the day. I would personally decline. Tell her you are excited and happy for her, but you don't need an extra honor. I honestly, can't believe she texted you.

    This has not happened to me before and I would be fricking pissed.
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  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    You can still get back to her and decline. I don't blame you for being upset - it's a crap job.
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  • bunni727bunni727 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its First Answer
    Eesh, sorry. That sucks!

    You are well within your rights to tell her you didn't understand what you were agreeing to and that you would rather just attend as a guest. But, if you didn't know what it was, why did you break down in tears instantly?

    I've been an "honor attendant" before, but it was very different than what it seems like your friend is asking of you. When my friend got married, my mental health was not well controlled, and I didn't want to be a bridesmaid. She got me a corsage and listed me in the program anyway, so I was still noted as a special friend without being put on display. I did decorate for her reception, but that was more of me loving to decorate than her asking anything of me.
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  • hotmamameghanhotmamameghan
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited September 2013

     

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  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    As far as your wedding is concerned, give it some time. You have lots of time to decide to what degree you'll still be friends at that point. You really shouldn't ask your bridal party before 6-9 months out - think of how awkward it would be if you had asked her now! Today you're probably not interested in being friends (or I wouldn't be anyway) and you'd be stuck with her!
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Decline her request.  That is a shit job and just goes to show how much of a friend she considers you since she is basically just asking you to be her bitch all day.  A bride does not have to be waited on. They are more then capable of getting their ass up and fetching their own drinks and what not.

    As for your wedding.  Like PP said, give it some time.  Don't ask until you are closer to a year out, even more like 9 months out.  Asking now would mean you are stuck with everyone no matter what happens.

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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    hotmamameghan said:
    I broke down in tears right away because I just knew by looking at the title, that it was just another form of saying "you're not important enough to be a bridesmaid but hey I want you to do this instead" I just feel terrible. I am also engaged myself and we arent planning on getting married unitl 2015, and I was planning on asking her to be in my wedding, but now its just awkward.  
    I'm so sorry this happened to you. I would decline her "offer". 

    Lurkers - this is EXACTLY why giving people shit jobs isn't a good idea. No one wants to be a "personal attendant" and obviously feelings get hurt even if they don't tell you how hurt they are.
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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    It's not too late to back out.
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  • MayDay513MayDay513 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments 5 Answers First Anniversary
    Why the DD @hotmamameghan
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  • Grabows14Grabows14 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Maybe the bride for the wedding is lurking and found this post!
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
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  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Grabows14 said:
    Maybe the bride for the wedding is lurking and found this post!
    Good!



    Anniversary
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Well now that she changed the thread title to a bad ass bat signal flashing in the dark, nobody will ever find it and she'll be safe. She could have just renamed it something like, "does pale pink work for my bridal party?" and it would have been buried for life.
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