Wedding Invitations & Paper

Not Receiving Reply Cards

Hello! My fiance and I mailed our invitations a few weeks ago for our October 12th wedding, we gave our 'reply by' date as September 12th. We have not received very many reply cards! I am starting to worry, what if no one comes?! I have a very large family on my mom's side and we have received a few declines from people we assumed may not make it (distance, health, etc), however, everyday I go home excited to check the mailbox only to find it empty! We also have a large friend group; we invited 150 people and have only received 35 replies (most of which are the bridal party and immediate family)! Has anyone else struggled with this? The venue gave us a deadline for a final count, so my sister (matron of honor) will call guests to find out when that time comes, but I'm just anxious about it.

Re: Not Receiving Reply Cards

  • You're still about 2 weeks away from your RSVP date - and you sent out the invitations pretty early - so I would relax.  You still have plenty of time.
    *** Fairy Tales Do Come True *** Wedding Countdown Ticker
    doeydomelbelleup
  • You're still about 2 weeks away from your RSVP date - and you sent out the invitations pretty early - so I would relax.  You still have plenty of time.
    This. We got a batch when we first sent them out and then we got a bigger batch closer to the deadline - not a lot in between. You're fine.
    *********************************************************************************

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  • A lot of people wait until closer to the deadline to make sure that they can make it.
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Hello! My fiance and I mailed our invitations a few weeks ago for our October 12th wedding, we gave our 'reply by' date as September 12th. We have not received very many reply cards! I am starting to worry, what if no one comes?! I have a very large family on my mom's side and we have received a few declines from people we assumed may not make it (distance, health, etc), however, everyday I go home excited to check the mailbox only to find it empty! We also have a large friend group; we invited 150 people and have only received 35 replies (most of which are the bridal party and immediate family)! Has anyone else struggled with this? The venue gave us a deadline for a final count, so my sister (matron of honor) will call guests to find out when that time comes, but I'm just anxious about it.


    You asked for a very early RSVP deadline.  Your venue really requires almost a month's notice for a final head count?  Many people don't plan that far ahead, so they are probably waiting til closer to the wedding to see if they can attend.

    Also, it should be you and your FI's job to call any RSVP stragglers.  And don't do it on Sept 13th, at least wait until the following Tues to get last minute people.  Some people wait until the deadline to send their reply card.

  • I asked for a month advance RSVP. I figured this way if people waited until the last minute or I needed to follow up with people, I would have time & not be rushed with it and still meet the head count deadline.
  • Chillax, you'll get more :). I'm doing a month deadline too, but I also live 8 hours from where the majority of people do, so mail takes 4-7 days to reach me (thus making my deadline sooner than later) and my venue requires a head count by 2 weeks b4, which leaves me one week for the stragglers and to call people.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Don't worry.  A month ahead is about the longest you want to ask for a RSVP, but it's not too early.  (Any earlier would have been pushing it.)

    Most people are procrastinators, busy, scattered, or just don't know what they're doing 6 weeks in advance.  Also, most want to be 100% sure before they send the RSVP.  You'll probably get the bulk of your responses the week of the 9th.  

    For people that haven't RSVPed by about the 15th, you'll just have to start making calls.  It's obviously very exciting and a huge priority to you, but give people a chance to respond by the deadline before you stress.  
  • The people you are inviting have been to many, many weddings.  And they know that the timeline for invitations and RSVPs (see below).  So with your wedding being October 12, your RSVP date should be September 21 (three weeks prior to the wedding), and so they are probably going to return your RSVP sometime around September 10 or 15.

    Don't be one of those brides who is pushed around by your vendor/caterer.  They need a "soft" number about10-12 days before the event, and a "hard" number 6 or 7 days prior to the event.

     

    Q. When should we send out our wedding invitations?
    A. Traditionally, invitations go out six to eight weeks before the wedding -- that gives guests plenty of time to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements if they don't live in town.

    Q. When should we make the deadline for RSVPs?
    A. Make your RSVP date two to three weeks before your wedding date -- this will allow enough time for you to get a final head count to the caterer (one week before) and to finalize your seating chart.



    Read more: Top 10 Wedding Invitation Etiquette Q&As - Wedding Planning - Wedding Invitations + Stationery http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-invitations/articles/wedding-invitations-etiquette.aspx#ixzz2dWdbyuvG 

  • Thank you so much! I am trying not to stress out about it, and by the sounds of it, I am needlessly worrying! The venue didn't ask for a month's notice, but I put that on my reply cards so that I can have a good idea of the number. The venue needs their count two weeks prior, so that is when we will call the stragglers. Thanks!
  • Also -- you and your FI should be the ones calling the stragglers, not your sister. 
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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