VERY small wedding...how do you invite?

Re: VERY small wedding...how do you invite?

• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  September 2013

  mblittle12 said:

  We're having a very small wedding.  Very.Small.  Our total count is 22 people including us (parents, siblings + sig.others, few close friends).  Our date is 12.13.13 (friday) and the ceremony will be at 4:30.  Small ceremony then dinner afterwards...so not really a reception persay.

  
  

  I'm a little perplexed as to what I should do in terms of invites.  The people that I know have to fly in (my sister and her hubs) knew long ago so they could plan.  Both parents know...all siblings know.  Word of mouth has somewhat traveled through both families that we're not doing a big ole thing so people aren't expecting invites or something.  HOWEVER, I do still want to do some sort of formal invite.  We're talking probably 10 invites that will be sent out...haha.  Really, no one is going to be getting this and have it be the first time they've heard about it.  Everyone invited will pretty much know...they might just not know all the details of where and times. Go to Michael's (or another craft store - they all have wedding sections) with a 40% coupon, get a box of invites you like and print them on your printer. We did this, it was really easy. We ended up spending about $50 for invites for over 200 people. We got tons of compliments on them.

  
  

  Do I need to include rsvp envelope?  Or can I just direct them to the website? Either way is fine - if they are older or don't have access to a computer, send a pre-addressed, paper RSVP. This date should be about two weeks before your date so you can finalize arrangements with the restaurant.

  
  

  Should I do 8 weeks out?  Or more? 6-8 weeks is customary  I was thinking with it being a friday, it might be wise to give that notice. Send STDs or let them know by word of mouth if you think they need extra notice.  PLUS, with it being close to the holidays, I kind of want to make sure people know so they can plan accordingly.

  
  

  Do people include things like maps and directions anymore? I put all this on our website and included the link in the invitation info insert.  Or can I direct everyone to the website for that?  I mean, i'm going to give them the location of both the ceremony and dinner in the invite...

  
  

  Any other tips from brides with uber small events???

  
  

  
  

  *********************************************************************************

  
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• SKPM member

  

  September 2013

  Dinner is your reception -- that's completely fine and sounds fun given your small group.
  
  I would do invitations just like any other wedding -- details printed on an invitation card (the "together with their families, mblittle and FI invite you..." verbiage might work well). Mail them 6-8 weeks in advance; maybe 8 weeks considering the holidays. With so few invitations, I would just include a phone number and/or email address for people to RSVP. I think that if you include the address of both the ceremony and reception, it's fine to skip directions. These days, everyone has GPS or knows how to find their way around. You could list it on a website as well.
  

  
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• svc2014 member

  

  September 2013

  It sounds like you are probably very close with all the invited and they all "know" the details so I think it just depends on how formal you want to make it. The formal way would be to do it all..the cards the envelopes etc. but you don't have to. It might be nice to have RSVP cards if you definitely want a head count- some people might not go to the website or just assume you know they are coming.
  
  I think 8 weeks is fine.
  
  Goodluck!
  

  Report0 Reply
• itzMS member

  

  September 2013

  Another vote for doing normal paper invitations for EVERYONE (even those like your parents who "know" already).

  And another vote to have them RSVP by phone. It's the happy medium between the snail mail RSVP (not really needed for your small group) and the techie RSVP that not everyone will be comfortable with.

  Report0 Reply
• tammym1001 member

  

  September 2013

  We will have 30 guests at our wedding. I sent STD's the other day and I will be sending formal invitations with a response card, etc. Absolutely none of this is necessary because obviously with only 30 people they are all extremely close to us and already know all the details. I'm sending them like that because I want to. It's really up to you how you want to do it. 

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• mblittle12 member

  

  September 2013

  Oh good idea with including an email or phone number!!  We're not really inviting anyone too old that wouldn't be cool going to a website, so I think that should be fine also.  

  
  

  I plan on listing further info on just about everything on the website.  Links to directions, links to hotels if people want to stay, more detailed info, etc.

  
  

  We're doing the ceremony at 4:30 with cocktail hour to follow in the lobby.  Dinner will be at 6pm at a different location.  Like I said, small group, so i'm not worried about people getting lost or what not.  BUT how should I word that on the invites?    Would I say "formal dinner at 6pm at....."?  I want to be clear that it's dinner and not a reception with dancing and what not

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• Maggie0829 member

  

  September 2013

  I would definitely still do invites.  They don't have to be expensive.  Like southernbelle suggested you could go to Michael's or some other craft store and buy a box set.  But with so few invites you could get away with picking something a bit nicer/expensive since you won't need very many.

  
  

  I would include a RSVP card so that you get a definite head count.

  
  

  I know you said a lot of this has already spread by word of mouth but it is still nice for your guests to have something to refer to when your date gets closer, you know, just in case they forget the time or the place or something like that.

  
  

  I do not think maps or directions is necessary.  You can put it on your website but really in today's world a lot of people will either map quest it or bring it up on their phone.

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• itzMS member

  

  September 2013

  mblittle12 said:

  Oh good idea with including an email or phone number!!  We're not really inviting anyone too old that wouldn't be cool going to a website, so I think that should be fine also.  

  
  

  I plan on listing further info on just about everything on the website.  Links to directions, links to hotels if people want to stay, more detailed info, etc.

  
  

  We're doing the ceremony at 4:30 with cocktail hour to follow in the lobby.  Dinner will be at 6pm at a different location.  Like I said, small group, so i'm not worried about people getting lost or what not.  BUT how should I word that on the invites?    Would I say "formal dinner at 6pm at....."?  I want to be clear that it's dinner and not a reception with dancing and what not

  
  

  
  "Please join us for dinner at 6:00PM at XYZ Restaurant" will be just fine.

  Or, you know, you could just TELL your small guest list that there won't be dancing if you're especially concerned. ;-)

  Report0 Reply
• SKPM member

  

  September 2013

  mblittle12 said:

  Oh good idea with including an email or phone number!!  We're not really inviting anyone too old that wouldn't be cool going to a website, so I think that should be fine also.  

  
  

  I plan on listing further info on just about everything on the website.  Links to directions, links to hotels if people want to stay, more detailed info, etc.

  
  

  We're doing the ceremony at 4:30 with cocktail hour to follow in the lobby.  Dinner will be at 6pm at a different location.  Like I said, small group, so i'm not worried about people getting lost or what not.  BUT how should I word that on the invites?    Would I say "formal dinner at 6pm at....."?  I want to be clear that it's dinner and not a reception with dancing and what not

  
  

  I would do the normal wedding ceremony invitation wording, followed by:
  "Please join us for dinner at 6:00
  at XYZ Restaurant
  123 Sesame Street, Springfield"
  or
  "Please join us for dinner following the ceremony
  XYZ Restaurant
  123 Sesame Street"
  

  
  

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• ashleyep member

  

  September 2013

  If you're worried about making sure people have enough notice, why don't you send out a save the date email? 

  
  

  You don't have to do a response card - if they're all that close to you, you could just ask them to call you. Or do response cards if you want the "formal" feeling of an invite.

  

  Report0 Reply
• svc2014 member

  

  September 2013

  itzMS said:

  mblittle12 said:

  Oh good idea with including an email or phone number!!  We're not really inviting anyone too old that wouldn't be cool going to a website, so I think that should be fine also.  

  
  

  I plan on listing further info on just about everything on the website.  Links to directions, links to hotels if people want to stay, more detailed info, etc.

  
  

  We're doing the ceremony at 4:30 with cocktail hour to follow in the lobby.  Dinner will be at 6pm at a different location.  Like I said, small group, so i'm not worried about people getting lost or what not.  BUT how should I word that on the invites?    Would I say "formal dinner at 6pm at....."?  I want to be clear that it's dinner and not a reception with dancing and what not

  
  

  
  "Please join us for dinner at 6:00PM at XYZ Restaurant" will be just fine.

  Or, you know, you could just TELL your small guest list that there won't be dancing if you're especially concerned. ;-)

  hahaha this just made me think of how funny it would look to have an invite with a big "NO DANCING" at the bottom.  Like your not allowed to dance?
  

  Report0 Reply
• mblittle12 member

  

  September 2013

  Bahaha, that would be funny.  Like Footloose....NO DANCING!!!!    It's at a restaurant in a private room, so I guess if someone really wanted to, they could do a little ditty in the corner

  
  

  I could do an email.  I guess I had just heard (or read somewhere) that doing a save the date email was tacky.  Either way, getting the invite won't be the first time people are hearing of it anyway.

  
  

  I like the thought of maybe spending a little more since there are so few!!  It would be nice to have one to frame or something

  Report1 Reply
• MayDay513 member

  

  September 2013

  mblittle12 said:

  Bahaha, that would be funny.  Like Footloose....NO DANCING!!!!    It's at a restaurant in a private room, so I guess if someone really wanted to, they could do a little ditty in the corner

  
  

  I could do an email.  I guess I had just heard (or read somewhere) that doing a save the date email was tacky.  Either way, getting the invite won't be the first time people are hearing of it anyway.

  
  

  I like the thought of maybe spending a little more since there are so few!!  It would be nice to have one to frame or something

  Yes or for your photographer to photograph the day of the wedding.
  

  Report0 Reply
• ashleyep member

  

  September 2013

  mblittle12 said:

  Bahaha, that would be funny.  Like Footloose....NO DANCING!!!!    It's at a restaurant in a private room, so I guess if someone really wanted to, they could do a little ditty in the corner

  
  

  I could do an email.  I guess I had just heard (or read somewhere) that doing a save the date email was tacky.  Either way, getting the invite won't be the first time people are hearing of it anyway.

  
  

  I like the thought of maybe spending a little more since there are so few!!  It would be nice to have one to frame or something

  Save the Dates are a relatively new thing. There's no etiquette around it, but people like to have things to hang on their fridge. I think since your guest list is so small and you could probably personally tell everyone the date yourself, that there's no need to do anything formal for Save the Date's. At least that way they have it in writing, so they're not going "oh crap, what date did mblittle say again?"

  

  Report0 Reply
• WonderRed member

  

  September 2013

  We are only having 30-35 guests  and we sent formal invitations .  I almost didn't and then I remembered what a cluster-eff my brother's was last summer when they didn't send invitations to their 20-30 guests.   I was told two months in advance about the date.  Didn't know the time until three days before hand. And, I kid you not, was on the phone with my niece as I made the one hour drive to his city trying to find out where in the world I was even going.    It was just really unorganized.  It felt very worth the money to me, after that,  to make sure everyone knew exactly what was happening and when and where. 
  

  Report0 Reply
• daveANDkristen member

  

  September 2013

  I would suggest ordering invitations from Vistaprint.  They are very reasonably priced, and you can order in multiples of 10 (I don't know if this is the case with other vendors).  But if you have the money, a nicer invitation suite would be wonderful too, and since you need so few it may open you up to more options. 

  
  

  Report1 Reply
• rvg22 member

  

  September 2013

  We invited about 30 people (25 are coming) and the wedding, which is in 3 weeks, sounds like it will be similar to yours (ceremony followed by dinner at a restaurant). 

  
  

  We sent out paper invitations with RSVP reply cards/envelopes, and I am glad we did. Yes, we could have done the RSVPs more informally with such a small group, but it is nice to have a stack of RSVP cards with definite yeses and nos for planning purposes. I could envision people being more wishy washy if RSVPs were being collected informally with no printed deadline. Also, it is fun to get them in the mail with people's little notes  And I know my friends have all put the invites on their fridges.  We ordered the invites from zazzle.com and there was no minimum order nor do you have to order in groupings of 10 or anything. Per invite (including RSVP card) the cost was $4.50, but we picked fancier paper than the standard card stock. We put a map on the back because most people are OOT and the ceremony location does not have an exact address. There are also more detailed directions on our website. However, I think most situations do not require a map or directions to be included with the invite, just an address is enough. 

  
  

  Our invitations said "dinner to follow at 5:30 pm at XYZ restaurant, 123 Main Street". (We didn't have a separate card, which might be poor etiquette, but we really wanted to keep the invitations simple. No inserts, no inner envelope).  I think people have assumed there will be no dancing, since it is at a restaurant. Also, we talk pretty regularly to most friends/family who are coming and they know it is "just dinner" so no one will expect a DJ, bouquet toss, all that stuff. We are not even cutting a cake, just eating desserts provided by the restaurant. Nobody has said they will miss the dancing but plenty of people are sad about the lack of a wedding cake, haha. 

  
  

  So far, planning a small wedding has been great! The seating arrangements are easier, favors (if you do them) will not be a huge expense, everyone should be able to hear the ceremony without sound equipment, and I look forward to talking to everyone on that day. 

  
  

  The one thing I am a little worried about, tbh, is that the dinner will end around 8 and then that is all, wedding over! I think some of my friends will be a tad annoyed that they flew a long ways for a wedding that doesn't entertain them (and give them drinks) all night long. In our circle, weddings are usually parties that go until 1 am, but that's not my (or FI's) thing.  Luckily the dinner is being held at a restaurant downtown (in a medium-size college town, on a Sat. night), so I think people can find some good bars/music while I go pass out from exhaustion!

  Report0 Reply