Glad this one isn't a BM *Rant*

Re: Glad this one isn't a BM *Rant*

• itzMS member

  

  September 2013

  svc2014 said:

  When selecting my bridesmaids I had a tough time drawing the line and left out a long time friend who's wedding I was in. Mostly because the last wedding we were in together she used to call me up and complain about every decision the bride and MOH made and was very negative about EVERYTHING that she couldn't control. She didn't enjoy it at all and seemed to be over the whole wedding thing having been a BM lots before.
  
  I think she was a little hurt that I didn't pick her as one of my BM but I was confident in my decision. Even more after this:
  
  I get a call from her at the dress shop where I bought my dress and she asked me which dress was mine (she had already seen a picture). She was there with her future sister in law dress shopping and wanted to make sure that girl "didn't pick my dress."  How thoughtful! Right?
  
  My friend called me later to say that the girl actually did try it on but didn't like it for her. We hung up and I didn't think a thing of it.
  
  I go in a week later to shop for bridesmaid dresses and the owner (who I have known for years) starts flipping out over how awful my friend was. She told me how my friend went and pulled out the dress I bought and made her future sister in law try it on. She didn't end up getting it but I was still just shocked. Did she want to start drama and hoped that the sister in law would get it? Did she just want to see it on in person?
  
  I know its not MY dress- obviously other people will be buying it for their weddings. I just can't believe my "friend." Who does something like that?  So devious to call me and to make sure the girl didn't get it when really she just wanted it so that she could try it on.
  

  Eh, I'd probaby try it on just for fun.

  No harm done.
  

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• RedJacks25 member

  

  September 2013

  itzMS said:

  Eh, I'd probaby try it on just for fun.

  No harm done.
  

  Yep, me too.
  

  

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• photokitty mod

  

  September 2013

  I'm surprised the shop owner told you - even if you have known her for years. Sounds like she's trying to drum up drama. She should have kept it to herself instead of upsetting you - which she clearly succeeded in.

  ~xoxo~

  
  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  September 2013

  I don't see this as a slight at all. Maybe she really liked your dress and wanted to see it on her SIL. Big deal? 

  
  

  Also, I think it was super unprofessional of the OWNER of a business to gossip about his/her customers. Sounds like she's the one stirring up drama - not your friend.

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• Simply Fated member

  

  September 2013

  It was inappropriate and unprofessional of that dress shop owner to shit talk that girl to you.
  
  I get that you're friends with the owner, but the owner was saying that about a (potential) clients friend.
  
  It just sounds like the owner is trying to keep up the drama or something.

  
  

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• svc2014 member

  

  September 2013

  The owner was more apologizing that it happened because she doesn't let people who know each other purchase the same dress so I guess she didn't even want her to try it on in the first place. Which I wasn't even upset by the fact that she tried it on.
  
  I was annoyed that my friend straight up called me and told me one thing when really she just wanted the info so that she could have her sister in law try it on. I would never even think to do something like that... Maybe that's just me.
  

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• itzMS member

  

  September 2013

  svc2014 said:

  The owner was more apologizing that it happened because she doesn't let people who know each other purchase the same dress so I guess she didn't even want her to try it on in the first place. Which I wasn't even upset by the fact that she tried it on.
  
  I was annoyed that my friend straight up called me and told me one thing when really she just wanted the info so that she could have her sister in law try it on. I would never even think to do something like that... Maybe that's just me.
  

  
  They probably found it on the rack, thought it was pretty, and tried it on.

  I would've done the same thing.

  Plus, I would assume that your friends future sister in law doesn't know you from Adam...so it wouldn't matter if she wore the same dress as you or not.

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• svc2014 member

  

  September 2013

  itzMS said:

  svc2014 said:

  The owner was more apologizing that it happened because she doesn't let people who know each other purchase the same dress so I guess she didn't even want her to try it on in the first place. Which I wasn't even upset by the fact that she tried it on.
  
  I was annoyed that my friend straight up called me and told me one thing when really she just wanted the info so that she could have her sister in law try it on. I would never even think to do something like that... Maybe that's just me.
  

  
  They probably found it on the rack, thought it was pretty, and tried it on.

  I would've done the same thing.

  Plus, I would assume that your friends future sister in law doesn't know you from Adam...so it wouldn't matter if she wore the same dress as you or not.

  Actually I know her pretty well.
  
  Really? I think that is so weird.
  
  I just think that if is was totally normal and she didn't think she was doing anything wrong why would when she called me to get the style and brand of my dress didn't she say "I want to see what this looks like on girl" instead of, "why is your dress info because I want to make sure she doesn't put it on". Why lie if you don't think you are doing something wrong?
  
  
  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  September 2013

  svc2014 said:

  The owner was more apologizing that it happened because she doesn't let people who know each other purchase the same dress so I guess she didn't even want her to try it on in the first place. Which I wasn't even upset by the fact that she tried it on.
  
  I was annoyed that my friend straight up called me and told me one thing when really she just wanted the info so that she could have her sister in law try it on. I would never even think to do something like that... Maybe that's just me.
  

  To me the bolded is weird.  So what if someone you know buys the same dress as you.  I can guarantee that the dress would look completely different on the both of you since you both have your own body shape.

  
  

  I honestly would just let this go.  It isn't something to get all upset over.  What happened, happened.  Maybe your friend was trying to do a little dig on you because you didn't ask her but that is her immaturity and you just need to be the bigger person.

  
  

  I think the business owner should never have brought it up and I think her policy is dumb.

  
  

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• photokitty mod

  

  September 2013

  Maggie0829 said:

  So what if someone you know buys the same dress as you.  I can guarantee that the dress would look completely different on the both of you since you both have your own body shape.

  But it would be totes awful if we were both there in the same dress...oh wait, my bad - that's prom! 

  
  

  I've only ever heard of such a policy when it related to proms. That is a dumb policy. Can you buy the same color bridesmaids dresses as people you know? When does the madness stop?

  ~xoxo~

  
  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  September 2013

  svc2014 said:

  The owner was more apologizing that it happened because she doesn't let people who know each other purchase the same dress so I guess she didn't even want her to try it on in the first place. Which I wasn't even upset by the fact that she tried it on.
  
  I was annoyed that my friend straight up called me and told me one thing when really she just wanted the info so that she could have her sister in law try it on. I would never even think to do something like that... Maybe that's just me.
  

  Huh?! That's ridiculous. It sounds like this woman runs her shop like the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld. 

  
  How could she even regulate this? Does she make people fill out a list of everyone they know and cross reference to make sure no one is purchasing the same dress. Or when a bride says "this is the one!!" does she say, "ok, well I've sold this dress to the following list of people. Please sign an attestation that you don't know any of them because you can't have the same dress as anyone you know." 

  
  

  And what if a customer came in ASKING for that dress. The shop owner is going to miss out on a sale because of this? Really? The customer would just bring her business somewhere else. 

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• daveANDkristen member

  

  September 2013

  My impression was that the SIL tried on the dress, and your friend thought it might be the same dress you picked out.  So then she called you to check so she could discourage her SIL from buying the same one.  Or are you positive about the order of events?

  If your friend deliberately wanted her SIL to buy the same dress as you for some kind of spite, she is immature as hell.  Either way though, I think you need to let this one go.

  
  

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• svc2014 member

  

  September 2013

  daveANDkristen said:

  My impression was that the SIL tried on the dress, and your friend thought it might be the same dress you picked out.  So then she called you to check so she could discourage her SIL from buying the same one.  Or are you positive about the order of events?

  If your friend deliberately wanted her SIL to buy the same dress as you for some kind of spite, she is immature as hell.  Either way though, I think you need to let this one go.

  No she called when she arrived to get the dress info then pulled it for the SIL.
  
  I'm going to let it go it and I am still going friends with the girl. I just needed to vent about how I was annoyed that my friend would lie to me. Maybe I feel dumb because when she called me I was thanking her for being so nice and thoughtful when really she just wanted to put it on her SIL.
  

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• LDubHawksFan member

  

  September 2013

  It sounds like op and her friend might live in a small town with one local bridal shop. I grew up in a small town and could see a local shop owner doing this sort of thing, though I totally think it is overboard and just plain nosy.
  Op, I agree to just let it go. It's better not to even spend anymore energy in this fuss.

  
  

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• mimiphin member

  

  September 2013

  lwoehlk said:

  It sounds like op and her friend might live in a small town with one local bridal shop. I grew up in a small town and could see a local shop owner doing this sort of thing, though I totally think it is overboard and just plain nosy. Op, I agree to just let it go. It's better not to even spend anymore energy in this fuss.

  We have some of those where I live for Prom dresses (only sells one of that dress per grad year) and even halloween costumes, they only bring in one of a style so that you are unique, BUT if it doesn't fit, you have to pick something else. Stupid I know.

  I agree just let it go and know that you are awesome and she is not.
  

  

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• Dreamergirl8812 member

  

  September 2013

  OP I think what your friend did was super weird. It's kind of like if someone wore white to my wedding. I wouldn't be worried about attention or someone thinking she's the bride (you know, because she's not the one getting married). But since everyone knows not to wear white to a wedding, I would take it personally (unless it was just an oblivious aunt or something). OP's friend seems to be trying to cause problems, and that's what's bothering OP. Not the idea of someone else wearing the same dress.
  

  
  
  
  

  
  
  
  
  

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• svc2014 member

  

  September 2013

  Dreamergirl8812 said:

  OP I think what your friend did was super weird. It's kind of like if someone wore white to my wedding. I wouldn't be worried about attention or someone thinking she's the bride (you know, because she's not the one getting married). But since everyone knows not to wear white to a wedding, I would take it personally (unless it was just an oblivious aunt or something). OP's friend seems to be trying to cause problems, and that's what's bothering OP. Not the idea of someone else wearing the same dress.
  

  Thanks! I think you get me
  PS I enjoy your dancing dog when reading your posts
  

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• allispain member

  

  September 2013

  svc2014 said:

  Dreamergirl8812 said:

  OP I think what your friend did was super weird. It's kind of like if someone wore white to my wedding. I wouldn't be worried about attention or someone thinking she's the bride (you know, because she's not the one getting married). But since everyone knows not to wear white to a wedding, I would take it personally (unless it was just an oblivious aunt or something). OP's friend seems to be trying to cause problems, and that's what's bothering OP. Not the idea of someone else wearing the same dress.
  

  Thanks! I think you get me
  PS I enjoy your dancing dog when reading your posts
  

  I agree - I find that odd as well. Why the subterfuge? I don't get it.

  
  

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• clueclaw.defunct635777689035314155 member

  

  September 2013

  I think some of y'all aren't reading where she said her friend MADE the FSIL try it on. That sounds like the weird part.

  
  

  True, the shop owner shouldn't have said anything, and no, it is not a big deal just because you know someone tried on the same dress.

  
  

  However, why would her friend make the other girl try it on. That does seem a little odd.

  

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• kmmssg mod

  

  September 2013

  Dreamergirl8812 said:

  OP I think what your friend did was super weird. It's kind of like if someone wore white to my wedding. I wouldn't be worried about attention or someone thinking she's the bride (you know, because she's not the one getting married). But since everyone knows not to wear white to a wedding, I would take it personally (unless it was just an oblivious aunt or something). OP's friend seems to be trying to cause problems, and that's what's bothering OP. Not the idea of someone else wearing the same dress.
  

  This exactly. OP's friend seems to like to stir the pot and her phone call was disingenuous to say the least.

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• kefryar member

  

  September 2013

  I really really wanted the same dress as one of my friends because I liked it so much. Obviously i didn't get it, but had I been able to try it on I probably would've tried it on. I don't really think this makes me a bad friend, it was just a beautiful dress and I wanted something similar.

   

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