How would you respond?

Re: How would you respond?

• ShesSoCold mod

  

  September 2013

  loca4pook said:

  I invited a co-worker of mine to the wedding which was about 3 months ago, and she attended. She did not bring a gift, which is not something I would have ever mentioned to her or brought up to her. Anyhow, I see her daily and at least once a week, she says "Oh, I have your gift at home". It's hard to explain, but her tone doesn't seem to be of one who keeps absent mindedly forgetting it, I am almost 100 percent sure the gift does not exist nor does she plan on getting one for us. It's not a financial issue either where she is waiting to get money to give a gift so she says it as a way to stall. I simply have no idea why she keeps saying it. It's just getting awkward to keep thanking her every time she says it to me, when I am pretty sure it's never coming.

  What would you guys do or say?

  Should I just keep going along with the charade knowing she will eventually stop saying it or should I say "oh, it's okay, no gift necessary" kinda comment?!?

  If she keeps saying it, I would go with something like the bolded. Awkward....
  

  
  

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• MuppetOverlord member

  

  September 2013

  I would say, "you keep saying that!"
  
  I got my Christmas gift from one of my best friends in June. I see her all the time. She forgot it each time. I know it existed because this happens every year and our other friend (we are a trio) got hers in January (same thing).
  
  I just figure it'll be a nice surprise whenever I get it....even if I get it for Christmas the next year.
  

  
  
  You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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• misssunshine17 member

  

  September 2013

  Awkward. I would start smiling and nodding. 

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  September 2013

  I'd just keep doing what you're doing. Not much else you can do. 

  
  

  I would also play a game with myself where I kept tallies of every time she said it and treated myself to a cookie for every tally. I would probably do this because I love cookies and create excuses to eat them.

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• loca4pook member

  

  September 2013 edited September 2013

  southernbelle0915 said:

  I'd just keep doing what you're doing. Not much else you can do. 

  
  

  I would also play a game with myself where I kept tallies of every time she said it and treated myself to a cookie for every tally. I would probably do this because I love cookies and create excuses to eat them.

  
  LOL...funny. I admit, I probably wouldn't have thought twice that she didn't get me a gift if it was never discussed, but the fact that it is being repeatedly pointed out to me by her, it's actually starting to hurt my feelings. I know I know. That's wrong, but when someone is constantly reminding you of it, it's super hard to not eventually start to question "why DIDN'T they get a gift for me?" when you know it has zero to do with money..... Had it never gotten brought up, I would have just assumed she thought there was no need to give a gift (which is her right), but she clearly believes she should have brought a gift that she keeps saying it, yet she clearly hasn't given it, so I start to worry she is saying it to make sure I KNOW she didn't get a gift...like she is sending me some kinda message.........

   

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• MayDay513 member

  

  September 2013

  I would do nothing. Just smile and move on. I dislike it when people draw attention to their own short comings.
  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  September 2013

  I would just keep ignoring it.  I don't know why she would keep bringing it up if she really didn't get you a gift.  That part is weird to me.  

  
  

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• itzMS member

  

  September 2013

  Maggie0829 said:

  I would just keep ignoring it.  I don't know why she would keep bringing it up if she really didn't get you a gift.  That part is weird to me.  

  My Step-MIL sounds exactly like this lady. She honestly means well, but is the most frazzle-brained, forgetful, disorganized person on earth.

  For example, she's been saying every time I see her since I got pregnant that she'll host a shower for me...well, 6 months later, she still hasn't even asked for a guest list or a date I'm available.

  It is super weird and annoying, but DH & I just shrug it off.
  

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• doeydo member

  

  September 2013

  If it were me, I would probably say something like "Oh, that's okay.  Don't worry about it."  Other than that, there's not much you can do.

  
  

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• MDbride1012 member

  

  September 2013

   I would just ignore her.

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• Jen4948 member

  

  September 2013

  For some reason some people feel the need to keep mentioning that they're going to give you a gift but never bring the actual gift.  All you can do is ignore it.
  

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• nebullama member

  

  September 2013

  I suspect that upon seeing you after the wedding she began to feel guilty for not giving you a gift, and saying she keeps forgetting to bring it is almost like a coping strategy, however awkward.
  
  I'll just point this out, since you're starting to feel hurt about it: Can you really be sure that it is not about money?  She may have a good job, but unless you've run an audit on her books it's hard to say for sure.  Any one of a number of things could be going on in her financial life, and people don't normally run around telling everyone (especially their coworkers), "Guess what? I'm in way over my head in credit card debt!"
  

  

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• allispain member

  

  September 2013

  I'd just keep doing what you've been doing. If it were me, I would also then have a bet going with DH at home as to how long this could possibly last. The prize for whoever is closest with their guess would involve ice cream. Lots of ice cream. And maybe some booze.

  
  

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• atlastmrsg member

  

  September 2013

  I think a betting game or over under spread would be kind of funny:)

  
  

  But, if it was me, I'd want to put it to rest.  Next time she says it, cheerily ask for her address and say you'll come by that night at ___ time to pick it up.  Say you're ready to have your thank you notes completed, and hers would be the last one.  You know, since you'll need her address anyway to send the note.  Then you'll have your answer!

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• PhoneCardLady member

  

  September 2013

  loca4pook said:

  I invited a co-worker of mine to the wedding which was about 3 months ago, and she attended. She did not bring a gift, which is not something I would have ever mentioned to her or brought up to her. Anyhow, I see her daily and at least once a week, she says "Oh, I have your gift at home". It's hard to explain, but her tone doesn't seem to be of one who keeps absent mindedly forgetting it, I am almost 100 percent sure the gift does not exist nor does she plan on getting one for us. It's not a financial issue either where she is waiting to get money to give a gift so she says it as a way to stall. I simply have no idea why she keeps saying it. It's just getting awkward to keep thanking her every time she says it to me, when I am pretty sure it's never coming.

  What would you guys do or say?

  Should I just keep going along with the charade knowing she will eventually stop saying it or should I say "oh, it's okay, no gift necessary" kinda comment?!?

  I'm gonna play the devil's advocate here and call her out.  Tell her something like you can come over and get it one day, and if she makes up excuses, tell her that she can leave it on the front porch.
  

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