Engagement Ring Etiguette

trvlkat1212 · September 2013

So I'm not engaged yet but my BF has been sending me pictures and asking what style ring I want. His taste and my taste are very different, both in the same price range but most of what hes showing me I would not pick myself. So I don't want to be picky or seem rude but I'm wearing this sucker for life so do I push for one that's more my style or just let him do it all. He does keep asking my opinion, I just want us both to be happy with the choice. And I know its not all about the ring more about the person your getting married to but I want to love my ring.

MayDay513 · September 2013

trvlkat1212 said:

So I'm not engaged yet but my BF has been sending me pictures and asking what style ring I want. His taste and my taste are very different, both in the same price range but most of what hes showing me I would not pick myself. So I don't want to be picky or seem rude but I'm wearing this sucker for life so do I push for one that's more my style or just let him do it all. He does keep asking my opinion, I just want us both to be happy with the choice. And I know its not all about the ring more about the person your getting married to but I want to love my ring.

I think you can tell him. If he is sending you pics for your opinion he probably wants you to like it. Could you find a few options to help steer him the right way?

CrazyCatLady3 · September 2013

If he is asking your opinion, he wants you to like the ring he gets. Why don't you respond with, "those are nice rings, but not what I would wear myself. I really like these styles" and then attach pics of styles you do like. That is not rude at all--he specifically solicited your opinion.

itzMS · September 2013

Why not ask if he'd mind going to a jeweler together?

It's so much easier when you can see the rings on your hand live and in-person.

You can explain the different characteristics of the rings you like as you're trying them on.

yellowdaisies84 · September 2013

Be honest with him about the look of the ring that you truly want. He knows that he is wise to get your opinion instead of just picking what he likes since you gravitate towards different things. Give him some ideas of rings that you would choose if you were him and be appreciative of the budget when you make your choices. I'm sure he doesn't mind that you are picky and he genuinely wants your opinion. He wants you to love your ring. Tell him what you like and what you don't like as clearly as possible. Also tell him not to pick anything that he doesn't love as well because you want it to be something that you both love. And, tell him that you will love whatever he chooses because it is from him.

melbelleup · September 2013

itzMS said:

Why not ask if he'd mind going to a jeweler together?
It's so much easier when you can see the rings on your hand live and in-person.
You can explain the different characteristics of the rings you like as you're trying them on.

We did this.. for a LONG time. and also internet searched for rings we liked. He actually fibbed to me. He showed me this one ring and asked if I liked it and I said it's beautiful... all along I thought he bought this one.. he even told me he bought it.. but he told me that the one him and i orig wanted and ooogled over wasn't available anymore... needless to say, when he proposed, it was the ring he found and showed me online that i lovvvvved. but he didn't like the idea of me knowing what ring he got me. so he mind tricked me. Honestly, when he proposed, I didn't look at the ring. It could of been a fake ring for all I cared. haha.

Anyways, show some pictures to him of what you like so he can get the feel of your style. He's probably thinking the same thing you are, you get to wear it the rest of your life, might as well love it.

trvlkat1212 · September 2013

Thank You all. Ya I sent him a couple pictures of ones that I really liked. And I asked why not just look together in person they might look different so hopefully we can find a happy medium lol.

bitney17 · September 2013

My fiance and I went shopping together. I've always wanted an amethyst ring, so we ended up going to about 5 different stores to get a greater selection. I gave him a few that were my favorite overall. I didn't "rank" the rings, but he could tell by my expression which one I really wanted. I also asked him to not tell me when he actually purchased the ring so that I could still be surprised when the time came.

phira · September 2013

I hiiiighly recommend visiting a jeweler and bringing pictures of the different kinds of rings you like. If you find a really nice jeweler (I have a rec in the Boston area), they'll be able to help you out a lot.

Specifically, I was in love with very a very plain style: bezel-set round stone on a thin band. My partner had no idea what he really liked, but really didn't like the ones I was picking out. All of the "happy mediums" I could find were ones NEITHER of us liked.

We went to the jeweler and the sales associate looked at some pictures we brought, and she was able to give us the language we needed to describe what we wanted. We ended up custom designing a ring at that shop, and we both LOVE it. HIGHLY recommend this route.

Bubbles2014 · September 2013

I used to work in a jewellery store and women would often come in (usually alone), pick their top 3, and then their boyfriend would come in later and pick one of them. I like this option because it let the women try on as many rings as they liked without risking the bf getting bored, plus it was still a surprise.

AprilH81 · September 2013

Even if you don't go shopping together I recommend you try on the rings (or something similar) at a store. I did this when we started talking about getting married. The rings I thought were perfect did not look good on my hand. He wanted to pick out the ring himself so I told him that I wanted an oval cut and that I preferred on with a halo. He bought a beautiful ring but he made the decision to put the extra money the halo would have cost into the stone itself and it is BEAUTIFUL!!!

Anyway, be sure to try rings on before anything is purchased.

fre3doms · September 2013

I gave my fiance the parameters of white gold and mystic fire topaz as the main stone. He then picked out a beautiful ring that I absolutely love. I actually never tried on rings cause he bought it while he was still in the Navy and purchased it online I believe.

But now I do get to try on wedding bands which is fun.

Going to look might be a good idea to see exactly what you like.

doeydo · September 2013

Send him pictures of rings you like and/or describe what types of metal and setting(s) you like.

annathy03 · September 2013

I'll echo the sentiment to try things on together. FI picked the stone and proposed with a solitaire, then took me to the jeweler and had me pick out settings/bands I liked.

buckwedding13 · September 2013

My FI was a weird one. He made it very clear he wanted me to pick my wedding ring since I'd be wearing it for the rest of my life. We went back and forth via text about rings once or twice and that was it. So I was very surprise when he proposed. While I wouldn't have chose the ring he did, I still love it. One we started planning he said we'd go ring shopping together to pick out our wedding rings. I said, "You know that this IS my wedding ring, right? I'm just getting a band for it." and he goes, "Oh. I just thought you'd move that to your other hand and pick out a whole new ring." After go back and forth on it, we picked out a bridal set together (HE really wanted me to get a new ring, since that's how he had planned on it going).

southernbelle0915 · September 2013

Definitely give your opinion if he asks you for it!! I second suggesting that you go to a jeweler. H and I did this - I thought I wanted a princess cut but I ended up wanting round once I tried stuff on. You can get sized at this time too. He can try stuff on also. He's going to have to get a ring eventually and it'll be good to know what he's looking for. Make it into a fun Saturday afternoon date.

SP29 · September 2013

My FI also asked my opinion on what I liked- I showed him some random pictures of various styles I liked (I like jewelry in general :P). Then he narrowed down some styles he liked and sent me a bunch of pics and then I sent him back my top 3 (I still wanted it to be a surprise) and he picked from there.

You're right, you are going to wear it for the rest of your life, might as well like it.

Teddy917 · September 2013

You can say " I really like the metal (or stone shape, stone color, band style, etc.) but I prefer this style of setting (or whatever)".

jcwrdh94 · September 2013

I would definitely show him pics of ring styles you like or go to a jeweler and look.

Before we got engaged, every time we went to Sam's Club, he'd go by the jewelry and say, "Babe, let's pick out a ring. I'll buy it right now. We could get married here too!" Of course I was like "whatever" but would look and point out what style I liked.

He bought my ring from Blue Nile and it was absolutely what I wanted! Don't be afraid to tell him what you like!

snoopycac · September 2013

I agree - try some on! You never know.

FI got me a ring that was the exact opposite of the pictures I would look at online. But I loved it even more! What a shocker. Now that I look back on it - I probably couldn't have picked out anything better myself.

Engagement Ring Etiguette

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