So my fiance and I just got engaged on Monday and we are very excited and happy.
However, the realities of the costs of a wedding, even a smaller affair, are quite daunting.
I come from a poor family, and I am already quite aware that my parents are in no position to pay for my wedding. My fiance's parents are in the same boat. I am sure that both parents will chip in here and there, for small things, which I am greatly thankful for, but it won't be much in the larger sense.
A few months back, my grandmother told me that she would help me with my wedding (she offered this unprompted). We never talked a specific figure, but she said that when the time came, she would help us. When we got engaged, we sent out an announcement to my grandmother and she wrote back that she was very happy for us, and congratulations, and to "keep her in the loop" but did not mention money.
I do not expect anyone to pay for our wedding for us. However, I feel like I really need to know if she will help or not, because her financial contribution will basically determine if we elope, or plan a wedding. Is this a situation where I should call her on the phone to ask her frankly? Should I wait until she offers to contribute? I worry that I will inform her that we are eloping and it will make her feel like I am pressuring her into giving us money, but I also do not want to go ahead with plans for a wedding that we won't be able to afford. I feel stuck. I just would like to have a solid understanding of our budget, one way or the other. Is there any sort of standard timeline engaged couples wait until planning begins? (Note: We are not in a particular rush to get married, I would love to get married next October 2014, but I am flexible. We are no expecting an opulent affair- I have budgeted a nice wedding and think we could swing it for around 7k, and if we could have assistance on around half of that cost, it would be amazing).