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Baby Shower and Bridal Shower all in one?

psychbabe314psychbabe314 member
100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
edited September 2013 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
A girl at work was discussing this today. She is due to have a baby 1 month before her wedding and she was talking about having a baby shower and a bridal shower all-in-one. How would something like this even work? Just curious... but, would you get her a bridal gift or a baby gift? I feel like these should be two separate events, but I suppose their are benefits to having the event in one like this? It is probably cheaper for her mom and sister (who are throwing the bridal shower). I don't know, anyone ever been to something like this? She mentioned having two separate registries, but the thing that bothered me the most was that she sounded as if she was expecting a 1 gift from each registry from each person.
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Re: Baby Shower and Bridal Shower all in one?

  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I would hate attending one of these.

    As a guest, I'd rather the events be spread out so I could save up for a gift that I really wanted to get them for each, seperate event in their life. I'd have to split my budget and settle for what ever I could afford on the registry. Not that the greatest gifts are the pricier ones, but depending on the friend, I wouldn't want tight limits.

    It's confusing. What is the focus on? Do I congratulate her twice? DO I get two cards or write in the other event? Which event do I write in? It's just... too much.
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  • psychbabe314psychbabe314 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Simply Fated said:
    I would hate attending one of these.

    As a guest, I'd rather the events be spread out so I could save up for a gift that I really wanted to get them for each, seperate event in their life. I'd have to split my budget and settle for what ever I could afford on the registry. Not that the greatest gifts are the pricier ones, but depending on the friend, I wouldn't want tight limits.

    It's confusing. What is the focus on? Do I congratulate her twice? DO I get two cards or write in the other event? Which event do I write in? It's just... too much.
    Basically how I am feeling too. I don't know, but the invites have not gone out yet. I just told her that it sounded busy.
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  • Xstatic3333Xstatic3333 member
    250 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    Busy is a good way to put it. Honestly, if it was my friend part of me would be glad that I just had one day to schedule around, but something still seems off about the whole thing. She will probably only get 1 gift per person, and I bet she'll get a lot more baby stuff. It's unfortunate timing, but if I were her I'd just pick one to have (and I'd go baby, unless they are just starting out and have very few essentials).
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  • misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    Two separate events. 
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  • aurorajanetteaurorajanette member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    That does sound busy to say the least. If I were her, I would just stick to the baby shower. If she has a bridal registry, people will still purchase gifts for her wedding, if that's really what she's worried about.
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Ugh this sounds like the worst party ever. Pick one. And then only have one. No one needs two showers and a wedding all in a two month period.
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  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    She should not have 2 events (that seems obnoxious) and should make it just a baby shower. If she's experiencing financial strain (which is expected if she's planning a wedding and a baby) then the most important gifts would be baby related, and not a toaster oven.



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  • psychbabe314psychbabe314 member
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    @banana468 she is a high risk pregnancy so they are going to be doing a c-section.

    Everyone does seem to agree that a baby shower is a better idea. I think that is what I will get her then, baby supplies. And then something for a wedding gift. I think it is hard too because she and her FI are just moving into a new home together and they will have almost nothing between the two of them. Some women at work are donating some used kitchen supplies to her.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    So she's going to be married 4 weeks after major surgery and in the first days after birth she won't be able to drive?!

    Yeah. Still a recipe for disaster.
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    She should keep it a baby shower only and not have a bridal shower. She will already be getting gifts for her wedding anyway. And, potential bonus for her, her mom/sis can invite whoever she wants to a baby shower and not worry about if they are also invited for the wedding.

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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Whatever they end up doing, she's having two major life events. One baby gift and one wedding gift (whether given at a shower or at the wedding) are in order. Different sentiments can be written in two different cards for the respective occasions.
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  • aurorajanetteaurorajanette member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    thisismynickname said:
    Whatever they end up doing, she's having two major life events. One baby gift and one wedding gift (whether given at a shower or at the wedding) are in order. Different sentiments can be written in two different cards for the respective occasions.
    I disagree with this. If they specifically host one or the other, then only a gift for that event is in order. As another PP said, what if it's a baby shower and they invite people who are not invited to the wedding. It would be uncomfortable and in poor taste to open wedding gifts in front of people who are not invited to attend the wedding.
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  • grumbledoregrumbledore member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I didn't want to leave the house a month after my daughter was born.  Having a wedding would have been unfathomable.  This sounds like a shit show.

    They should have a baby shower, not a bridal shower, imo.

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  • Pepper6Pepper6 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    If she insists on doing one joint event, I'd get her a baby gift at the shower, and a wedding gift at the wedding.  Or more likely, I'd send cash and skip the shower because that sounds like a long boring day of opening and fake-fawning over two very different types of gifts.  
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