To toss, or not to toss.. this is my question..

[Deleted User] · September 2013

So, we are in our mid 30s and it's my 2nd marriage (widow). Most of our guests around our age are already married and there won't be very many, if any, that are single. My fabulous man really wants to do the bouquet/garter toss. This is his first marriage and, while my 2nd marriage, my first actual wedding party.
I have heard of people doing these - but with ANY lady/guy that wanted to participate. Just for fun. While not 'traditional' in that sense, what do you all think? Any neat ideas or interesting spin offs for this?

melbelleup · September 2013

I say go for it. I would just say whoever would like to participate in the bouquet tossing may

If you know for a fact there are no single ladies, why not!

Xstatic3333 · September 2013

We did a bouquet toss for everybody and it went over well! I made the toss bouquet out of cheap fake flowers and taped on some scratch tickets. We got a lot of compliments about it. I've also heard of people using movie passes.

misssunshine17 · September 2013

These are actually becoming outdated pretty quickly, since lots of people are skipping it. You age has nothing to do with it. I'm a decade younger and still not doing it for the same reasons. I am also super uncomfortable with my dad watching my groom take the garter off. If you do it, please please please don't make the two people who catch it put the garter back on. I feel like that crosses the line into hazing.

As far as spinoffs, you can throw the garter on a football (some people even attach a small gift card... I think maybe Maggie did this) and have everyone participate. The general idea is that people don't want to be nagged into participating.

Maggie0829 · September 2013

I didn't do either the bouquet or garter toss. But if you want to incorporate them into your wedding I like the idea of attaching scratch offs to the toss bouquet and then attaching the garter to a football or even a baseball (you could provide mitts or something for your male guests to catch the ball with).

If you do go with the tosses just open it up to whoever and eliminate the whole putting the garter on the girl that catches the bouquet thing because that is just weird and uncomfortable.

Heck, I don't know how some on here would feel about this, but for those that catch the bouquet and garter you could give them a bottle of wine as a prize.

misssunshine17 · September 2013

Oops @Maggie0829. Maybe I thought this because of the football picture? Sorry!

Maggie0829 · September 2013

@misssunshine17 - no worries! Definitely an obvious mistake to make since we got married in a football stadium and had a football for pictures. I would have probably assumed the same thing

Peaseblossom55 · September 2013

I don't plan to do a bouquet/garter toss, I'm in my 30's and I have two single friends. I also don't want FI going up my dress for a garter in front of family and friends. We are doing an anniversary dance instead,

arrippa · September 2013

Some knottie ( can't remember who) attached a giftcard to her bouquet and invited ALL the females up (not just the single ones) and throw it out. It sounded like it was successful and it didn't put anyone on the spot.

CheleLyn · September 2013

I'm doing the bouquet toss and it'll be open to all the girls and women. I've agreed to do the garter thing with super strict rules, the toss will be open to all the fellas in attendance.

What we will NOT be doing is having the guy who catches the garter put it on the gal who catches the bouquet...I just want a picture of them together.

I have to say, knowing our circle that depending who catches the bouquet and garter what happens after is really up in the air. They're all crazy as hell!

Everyone knows how I feel about it, but really I'm just not going to stress about it.

Bubblegum5586 · September 2013

We are doing the garter toss on a football too! To the music of Monday night Football!

I have been with FI for 8 years and have considered us "committed" for 7+. I have always gotten up for the bouquet toss (on taxes I filed single...) it's just silly and fun and shows support to the bride that you are here to celebrate and have fun. But what happened to PP is wrong, I would never ever do that to someone and that is lame to make that big of a deal out of it!!- again it's just supposed to be fun!

psychbabe314 · September 2013

I would love it if a bouquet had some scratch cards or a prize! The garter tosses make me a bit uncomfortable, but I like the idea of a football or baseball. But, even a standard bouquet toss is something that the weddings I have attended have had. Good luck!

[Deleted User] · September 2013

Oh nice!! I love the idea of attaching something to the bouquet! I do have a small one because I want to keep mine

And the garter will be VERY low key lol I am NOT a fan of watching a guy dig up his new wife's dress... went to one where he went up under there and pulled it off with his teeth. No thanks lol
And in no way will the garter be going ON someone. I've never heard of/seen such a thing!

prettybirdy27 ...ouch... I would -never- do such a thing!! Ever. I wish I could hug ya!

Thank you all! Those are fantastic ideas!!

[Deleted User] · September 2013

Oh and I'm surprising my hubby to be with a Cubs theme garter - so doing a baseball toss would be PERFECT!!

CheleLyn · September 2013

littlewillow said:

Oh and I'm surprising my hubby to be with a Cubs theme garter - so doing a baseball toss would be PERFECT!!

I got University of Michigan garters from Etsy. I was going to save them for a surprise, but I loved them so much I had to show him LOL He said "Alright! Niiiice! Wanna practice?" Dork! LOL

[Deleted User] · September 2013

CheleLyn said:

littlewillow said:

Oh and I'm surprising my hubby to be with a Cubs theme garter - so doing a baseball toss would be PERFECT!!

I got University of Michigan garters from Etsy. I was going to save them for a surprise, but I loved them so much I had to show him LOL He said "Alright! Niiiice! Wanna practice?" Dork! LOL

That is adorable! I love Etsy, I've seen garter pairs.. one to toss and one to keep. I might do that for him. I'm pretty crafty so I might make them myself - I really don't want to spend a crazy amount on something like that

TheBaysideBride · September 2013

YES it's fine!! We left for our honeymoon after brunch (like hopped on a boat) and I tossed mine to the crowd that came to send us off. It was cute.

TheBaysideBride · September 2013

and totally spontaneous - you really don't have to decide today.

mommapizano · September 2013

We are going to do an anniversary dance and give the wife of the couple married the longest the toss bouquet. We only have about 4 single people at our wedding and if they don't want to come up for the toss (which some of them are shy) it would seem silly.

[Deleted User] · September 2013

cap816 said:

I don't plan to do a bouquet/garter toss, I'm in my 30's and I have two single friends. I also don't want FI going up my dress for a garter in front of family and friends. We are doing an anniversary dance instead,
If you have any widows or divorcees who will be in attendance, I would ask you to reconsider this. Very sad for them. As someone who married later, I would have also found it to be uncomfortable to sit through. I just don't think it's right to single out any one group - married or single.

I -am- a widow actually! We went to a wedding where they did the anniversary dance and, while a bit sad, it was neat to see who was married the longest

I also knew that as a widow, going to a wedding in general could be sad. If I felt I couldn't sit though the wedding, knowing all the things weddings contain, I wouldn't have gone.

Jen4948 · September 2013

littlewillow said:

cap816 said:

I don't plan to do a bouquet/garter toss, I'm in my 30's and I have two single friends. I also don't want FI going up my dress for a garter in front of family and friends. We are doing an anniversary dance instead,
If you have any widows or divorcees who will be in attendance, I would ask you to reconsider this. Very sad for them. As someone who married later, I would have also found it to be uncomfortable to sit through. I just don't think it's right to single out any one group - married or single.

I -am- a widow actually! We went to a wedding where they did the anniversary dance and, while a bit sad, it was neat to see who was married the longest I also knew that as a widow, going to a wedding in general could be sad. If I felt I couldn't sit though the wedding, knowing all the things weddings contain, I wouldn't have gone.

Which is great, but consideration for the feelings of those who could be hurt by this isn't out of place either.

owusudanielswedding · September 2013

I too want to do the anniversary dance! Or you could give your bouquet to your mother or wedding planner/coordinator in thanks for helping with the wedding. I am doing a bouquet made from sola flowers so they don't die and you can keep them forever (Etsy) and so I think it would be a great keepsake for someone!

Jen4948 · September 2013

owusudanielswedding said:

I too want to do the anniversary dance! Or you could give your bouquet to your mother or wedding planner/coordinator in thanks for helping with the wedding. I am doing a bouquet made from sola flowers so they don't die and you can keep them forever (Etsy) and so I think it would be a great keepsake for someone!

I like the bolded idea. The anniversary dance may not be a good thing if the couple in question is having problems in their own relationship at the time of the wedding, or just doesn't want to be recognized in that fashion. I'd check the situation out and have a Plan B available if they say no.

To toss, or not to toss.. this is my question..

Re: To toss, or not to toss.. this is my question..

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