The details:
My FI and I have lived together for over a year, and each brought two children into the relationship. We own a home and both have solid careers. He is over 40, I'm in my 30's. This is my first wedding, but not his. We have some nice things, but the majority of our house is a blend of what he had left from a previous divorce and what I had left from being a single mom. We may not be "just starting out" in life necessarily, but we are very much starting out together.
Someone close to me recently asked if I was going to have a wedding shower, because "we don't need anything and already live together". I am now questioning myself on wanting one and feeling guilty about it. At the same time, I am really bummed that people may feel we have to give up having a shower because why...we had kids first? Or because we lived together first? Most weddings we go to lately the couple has lived together for quite some time and it has never struck me as odd to attend their shower. I know as a parent how often (ie: always) you put yourself and your spouse's needs/wants last, so I will admit I was excited to get to have our OWN wish list and party.
Also, we have had to put a lot of money into the house over the past year, so we haven't been able to upgrade much of anything (except all the kids things and rooms). Our towels, dishes, sheets, curtains (what we even have) need replacing. He doesn't have a large family and they are mostly out of town and wouldn't come, so I don't have to worry about the "they've been there done that" for him. My family has never been down this road with me before.
Is it wrong to have a shower? Someone else suggested we have a couples get-together instead, or a Home Depot gift card party. I suppose that's fine. We have a love/hate relationship with Home Depot. We love it, but we hate how much time we spend there. I can't see getting excited about more home improvements for a wedding shower.
Feeling guilty
