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Ceremony and Vow Ideas

Courthouse marriage first,then out of state?

Hello! I was wondering if it would be easier to just get married in my state/county (PA) in front of the judge a week before and then "get re-married" down in Florida, without the Florida license? Any input?

Re: Courthouse marriage first,then out of state?

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited September 2013
    Um, no.  First you can't get "re-married" if you are already legally married.  Second, it takes no time at all to get your marriage license.  Look up the requirements of the state of Florida (specifically in the county you are getting married in) and see what it has to say.

    Edit:  Here is even a link to help you out.  http://www.stateofflorida.com/Portal/DesktopDefault.aspx?tabid=30

  • Why would you want to do that?   Is this a DW?  When you invite guests to your wedding they should be seeing a real wedding, not a reenactment.  If I were invited to a DW and found out the couple was already married and I just spent a boatload of money and vacay time to watch a reenactment, that friendship would be on shaky ground.
    [Deleted User]RebeccaB88SKPM[Deleted User]
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    @RedJacks25 - that was me loving your post by the way :)

    RedJacks25
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Hello! I was wondering if it would be easier to just get married in my state/county (PA) in front of the judge a week before and then "get re-married" down in Florida, without the Florida license? Any input?

    Not a good idea. Who wants to see a fake wedding?
    [Deleted User]
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I am really sick of brides that want to do things that make things easier or more convenient for themselves rather then be polite to their guests.  Being polite to your guests really doesn't take that much energy.  Doing things that are easier for yourselves and is rude to your guests is just selfish in my opinion.

    [Deleted User]blueobsidian
  • @RedJacks25 - that was me loving your post by the way :)
    Thanks! I love love. :)
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  • Hello! I was wondering if it would be easier to just get married in my state/county (PA) in front of the judge a week before and then "get re-married" down in Florida, without the Florida license? Any input?

    How would this be easier? Seems like more work to me. And would you tell your guests that you are already married?

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Why do you want to do this, let alone think it would be "easier" ?

    I am truly not getting why so many brides keep asking about having weddings in front of judges and then "weddings" (read: PPDs) with their family and friends present.  If it's so important to have the family and friends present, why not just wait and make that the real wedding without all the pretending?  Sorry, but it's a choice to have a small legal wedding, and military, insurance and legal needs just don't make good reasons to have a big white one with the bells and whistles later.
  • Nope - honestly, it sounds like more work for you. Just check the requirements for a marriage license. 
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    tally7
  • I considered this for about 1 second since we decided to marry in Utah rather than home in California. I'd feel like a phony up there going through a ceremony knowing our friends and family are there for us and we already said our lifelong vows to each other. The only time this seemed doable was on an episode of The Office when Pam and Jim got married in secret. That was sweet but they weren't my friends or family, I'd be pissed.
    -anjo (aka the future mrs miley :)


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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I considered this for about 1 second since we decided to marry in Utah rather than home in California. I'd feel like a phony up there going through a ceremony knowing our friends and family are there for us and we already said our lifelong vows to each other. The only time this seemed doable was on an episode of The Office when Pam and Jim got married in secret. That was sweet but they weren't my friends or family, I'd be pissed.
    And it was also a TV show so taking any kind of cue from fiction is probably a bad idea.

    [Deleted User]southernbelle0915
  • I think you need to really consider whether or not it will be easier. If you and FI absolutely can't get to Florida when the clerk's office is open in order to apply for the license within 60 days before the ceremony, then you might need to get a PA license. Both people need to be at the clerk's office with a state ID and SSN cards in order to get a license. Any Florida county's license is valid for a marriage ceremony in any other Florida county for 60 days. (I'm a FL resident, so I've been checking it out lately.)

    As for the wedding being "fake" because you're getting the license separately, I think that's silly. I can appreciate the reenactment angle, but I wouldn't worry about it much. The guests don't usually even see the marriage license or its signing, so it doesn't affect their wedding experience at all if it happened somewhere else. For my partner and myself, the spiritual union with the community celebration is the true wedding, not the governmental recognition. I also do not consider it a reenactment if you have minimum legal requirements at the clerk's office and then have personal vows at the wedding ceremony. Do what truly works best for you.
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    Renahm
  • @biojess, since you are familiar with fl licenses (and do they not vary for different counties??), how long of a wait is there between filing for your license and when you can wed? Usually it's a matter of a day or two. If op is doing a DW, presumably they will be arriving a day or two before. My best friend just gots tried in Hawaii. It didn't mean she had to paid a ton to fly there a month before to get the license, she made an apt at the courthouse to file the license the day before and then got married the next day.

    The second ceremony would be fake and I would be offended as a guest. This point has been articulated to death on other posts.

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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    @lwoehlk - from the little research I did for OP.  Apparently you can get married anywhere in FL no matter which county you get your license from.  There is a 3 day waiting period unless you complete a set of pre-marital classes.  Also, the couple would have to get married within 60 days of the license being issued.

  • Marriage is the word that describes the relationship between a husband and wife. You wouldn't be having a courthouse marriage, you'd be having a courthouse wedding. A wedding is a ceremony in which people are wed. If you've already been wed to the same person a few days ago, you can't be wed again. That would make your Florida "wedding" not a wedding at all, because no one will be getting married during it.

    I don't want to watch someone pretend to get married. It doesn't make me feel like an honored guest, and I especially wouldn't fly to attend a wedding reenactment. If I found out after the fact that I spent time and money to travel to a fake wedding I'd be very angry at the couple for misleading me.

    If getting married in FL is too onerous, get married in PA, and come to FL for your honeymoon and/or a trash the dress photoshoot.
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    southernbelle0915
  • There is no waiting period for non-residents, certainly in my county, and appointments can be made. But anyone can easily double check by googling "[county name] florida marriage license" to find the particular county clerk's information. The licenses do not vary between counties: Florida Marriage Guide.

    I would never be offended by someone getting a license without my presence, and I will never think that makes a wedding fake. I recognize that others feel that way, but I don't get it. I don't even know how any of the guests would notice that there's marriage license signing, unless your tradition puts it on display during the ceremony. Again, the government's sanctioning my partnership is not a spiritual or emotional experience for me any more than renewing my driver's license. It's bureaucratic and only has value in relation to that bureaucracy. The government sucks at recognizing a variety of real-life relationships, including disallowing healthy, stable same-sex marriages. If you feel that the government's recognition or approval of your partnership is important to you, that's fine for you, but not everyone feels that way.

    If your wedding is about celebrating your partnership with your family and friends, then where and when exactly the paper gets signed is comparatively trivial.
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    But getting the license is different than the ceremony.  You can obtain your license and then take it to whoever performs the ceremony to complete the process.  Just because you obtain a license from your county, doesn't make you married unless you also have them perform a ceremony to legally marry you then. 

    My officiant asked H & I to have our marriage license signed, by us only, when we gave it to him at the rehearsal.  But he (and our witnesses) didn't sign it until after our ceremony, that was performed in front of our family & friends.  Our marriage wasn't legal until we had signed, our witnesses had signed, and our officiant all had signed the license.  You can do that at the courthouse or in front of your guests at your church, reception hall, etc.
    Maggie0829manateehugger
  • It isn't just a matter of "filling out the paperwork" in PA. Once you obtain your marriage license, after a three day waiting period, an officiant must declare you married (or in the case of a self-uniting license, you state your intentions in front of two witnesses). This at the very least involves declaring your intent to take each other as spouses aka, it involves actually getting married. It's more than just signing on the dotted line.

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