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young bride but 2nd wedding dilemma

BRS11BRS11 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Second Weddings
Hello everyone! I'm a second time bride but I'm still relatively young (i'll be 28 when I marry) and wanted to know whether it was appropriate to have a big wedding. (my first wedding was at the JOP) My FH hasn't been married before and wants the big to-do as well as both of our mothers. What do you guys think?
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Re: young bride but 2nd wedding dilemma

  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Well when my DH and I married we were 20 years older than you and had the formal wedding, for us it was a big to-do and we had family support.  My MIL would have liked for the guest list to have been larger but she understood that we had a budget and that was all there was. 

    You can have the wedding you want and can afford. So have fun and please if you want share your plans!

    Congratulations and welcome to the board. 
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  • WonderRedWonderRed member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    You can absolutely have the big shebang if you want. Do it up!
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  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I was pretty young when I got remarried (32) and it total does NOT matter what you did the first time around. As PPs mention, do what you and your FI want! We actually did the opposite- had the big weddings that first time around and did not even want to consider doing something to that degree the second time around.

     







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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I had a big second wedding. I did not have showers the second time around tho. I did not feel comfortable having them and thought it would appear gift-grabby. Otherwise I did the whole shebang. 
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • mmgreearmmgreear member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    I'm currently planning my second wedding (second for my fiance as well). I completely agree that you should do whatever you want and have money to do. I personally have spent a lot of time thinking about what I didn't like about my first wedding, so that the second time around is more fun. For me, that means not letting my family and traditions take over. Spend some time with your fiance talking about what your dream wedding would be like, and try to get as close to that no matter what anyone else might say. Good luck!
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  • huskyflyhuskyfly member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I am glad to see so much support for a second big wedding. I will be 30 when I get remarried and have been feeling guilty and selfish for even thinking about having a big wedding like my FH wants to have. I already have so much negative judgment from my family about getting engaged so soon after getting divorced from my ex ( 2 years ago) that even thinking about a having a big wedding has been stressing me out.
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  • katieg520katieg520 member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I agree with the above posts! I am 32, which is older than you albeit, but I am having a big shebang (not luxury though) wedding because my fiance has never been married before. He felt that he would be denied something just because I made a mistake in choosing wrongly the first time because he always wanted a wedding. My mom also wanted me to have a wedding because my first wedding was very rushed and she was NOT happy about it. This time, she's happy about it.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Answer Name Dropper
    I'm 26 and I will also be 28 when I get remarried (oh my god that's almost 30!!) and I also have been divorced for 2 years! Actually I've been separated for 2 years and some change I've only been legally divorced for a year and a half! I just got engaged and my FI wants to have a big wedding and we're going to do it! My family is on board and anyone who isn't doesn't have to come. I'm so happy to have found someone that I love so much and I want to celebrate the relationship we have in a way that makes us both happy. The differences I have found are that I'm planning on paying for everything myself where as the first time around I completely expected my dad too and I am not expecting some of my really out of town family to come, I will be having a shower because I didn't the first time! And I'm super excited for gifts! (I don't care how bad that sounds, I NEED a new blender!)
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  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment

    Bottom line: you don't need a rationale to have a big formal wedding.  It doesn't matter if you had one before, or not; whether you've been through the wringer or just fell out of love with a perfectly nice guy; or who agrees with your choice or who is shaking their head.  

    Just hold your head high, plan what you want, be a great hostess, and have fun.  (Hosting your own shower is bad etiquette, but if someone else hosts, it's just fine to have one.)  ~Donna

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