Pre-wedding Parties

Far away friends

All of my family and all but my newest friends live in a different state. (My partner and I moved a year ago.) I'm not sure how to organize a bridal shower, engagement party, or bachelorette party when almost no one I want to be there lives near me. Also, my family is in one state, his is in another, and most of our mutual friends are in a third! So, I couldn't even just travel home for a party. I'm ok with planning a wedding where everyone travels, but it seems unfair to ask people for two or three vacations for our wedding-related events. Any ideas or similar situations out there?
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Re: Far away friends

  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Are you the bride?  If you are, then the good news is that you don't have anything to worry about or organize.  The bride should never organize parties for herself.  

    Your families and friends are obviously aware of your situation and the logistics involved in trying to organize wedding related parties and/or showers.  I'm sure if they have an interest in hosting one, they will find a way to make it work. 
    Blue_Birddoeydo[Deleted User]
  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird Bawlmer member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    edited August 2013
    mobkaz is correct. You don't organize or ask for any pre-wedding parties. If anyone wants to throw you one, that person will figure it out, so don't worry about it. You just focus on planning the wedding.
    [Deleted User]
  • So I should just hope that someone else is interested in tackling the logistics for me?  Or maybe try not be disappointed if I don't have any parties because I never expressed any interest? I just thought it'd be nice to have some ideas to discuss with my Mom and MOH when it comes up. I mean, a bridal shower and a bachelorette party are both standard/expected parts of current wedding practices and traditions, so I'm pretty sure it'll come up at some point.
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  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird Bawlmer member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    biojess said:
    So I should just hope that someone else is interested in tackling the logistics for me?  Or maybe try not be disappointed if I don't have any parties because I never expressed any interest? I just thought it'd be nice to have some ideas to discuss with my Mom and MOH when it comes up. I mean, a bridal shower and a bachelorette party are both standard/expected parts of current wedding practices and traditions, so I'm pretty sure it'll come up at some point.
    Absolutely, if you have some ideas, feel free to think of them. If someone does offer, she may ask your opinion on what you would like, or she may just go ahead an plan it the way she feels comfortable planning it. It wouldn't be appropriate for you to bring it up yourself. If you're offered a party and asked your opinion, by all means, give them your ideas, but don't be too disappointed if they decide to go another way.
    [Deleted User]
  • biojess said:
    So I should just hope that someone else is interested in tackling the logistics for me?  Or maybe try not be disappointed if I don't have any parties because I never expressed any interest? I just thought it'd be nice to have some ideas to discuss with my Mom and MOH when it comes up. I mean, a bridal shower and a bachelorette party are both standard/expected parts of current wedding practices and traditions, so I'm pretty sure it'll come up at some point.

    Nope, not really. They are nice things to have, but not a standard or expected part of getting married. If someone wants to host a party for you, they will ask. Trust me.

    It's certainly fine to feel a little disappointed, but not having a shower or bachelorette won't prevent you from getting married. On your wedding day, you'll still become a wife!

    [Deleted User]
  • I also have a similar situation with friends and family in all different states and the way I see it, if the logistics seem daunting for you to do it yourself then why would you wish that on someone else? I  wasn't actually aware in the past of the hosting duties in particular, but finding out that someone else was supposed to throw them was a relief.

    I think fiance's mom was surprised my mom was not throwing something and she let me know to pass along any information at one point, which I think was her letting us know she would be willing to travel. But, my mother lives in a state where I have only visited briefly twice. Having a shower there would be weird. Even her hosting at my house would not be possible because of space, parking and travel logistics.

  • My MOH offered to do a bachelorette/bridal shower for me. She has asked for my input, so I gave it to her. All of my friends live out of town, so we're trying to do everything in one weekend-not ideal but the only option. Sorry, I know it sucks :(

     

  • Thanks for the camaraderie, ladies. It's nice to know others have similar experiences. I think mostly I was feeling alone, and worried about what to tell people who were expecting or asking after a party, since all my friends had bachelorette parties. Of course, their bridal parties all lived in the same part of the country. It certainly feels to me like something that gets brought up at every wedding in which I've ever participated, so I've been worried about what other people are expecting. I guess we'll see what pans out, and I'll do my best not to worry so much about what others are thinking.
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