this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion

How to have a casual wedding?

peaches827peaches827 member
First Comment First Anniversary
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hi everyone!

I am seriously struggling with the idea of a "traditional" wedding. I would LOVE to get married in private with just family, then have a BBQ with friends & family to celebrate. I want to wear a casual dress & have people stop by during a certain time (ex: from 6-9), sort of like a graduation party. We have a lot of friends who live out of town & we would feel bad inviting people to coming to a "wedding" without providing them with the tradition experience of a plated dinner, being at the ceremony, etc. How can we have our dream wedding while still being respectful to our invitees? Thanks!
Report Reply to Post

Re: How to have a casual wedding?

  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Tradition isn't the same as etiquette. So you may have as non-formal, non-traditional wedding as you want, but you must still properly host your guests (which it sounds like you want to do - which is great). 

    It sounds like you'd like a private ceremony. Those are technically fine as long as you keep that guest list very small (20 or less is the usual recommendation). I personally am very disappointed when I'm not invited to the ceremony (the whole point of the day) and am less likely to attend just a reception. 

    Are you planning on having the reception the same day? I think an informal backyard BBQ reception sounds great. Just make sure you have enough food and drink for everyone. Also make sure you have a chair for every butt. Tables would be nice as well. You must serve enough food to constitute a meal if you're having this celebration during a meal time. 

    I'd just have a solid start time to the reception (say 6) and let people linger and come and go as they please. 
    image
    Report Reply
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Well, don't do an "open-house" wedding reception.  That's going too far in the direction of "informal."

    That said, it is okay to wear a casual dress and have cocktails and appetizers rather than a plated dinner. 

    Also, if you really want a private ceremony, don't have a huge difference between the number of people invited to that and the number of people invited to the BBQ.  That will raise hackles.
    Report Reply
  • Gustafson28Gustafson28 member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    Ditto PP.. Small ceremony and large reception is no prob. Excluding 20 ppl sucks.
    Report Reply
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Jen4948 said:
    Well, don't do an "open-house" wedding reception.  That's going too far in the direction of "informal."

    That said, it is okay to wear a casual dress and have cocktails and appetizers rather than a plated dinner. 

    Also, if you really want a private ceremony, don't have a huge difference between the number of people invited to that and the number of people invited to the BBQ.  That will raise hackles.

    Read hnkirk81 right below your post for the correct advice.
    Report Reply
  • MoonlightSilverMoonlightSilver member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    Have a small wedding with your family. Send out wedding announcements.

    A few weeks later, have a BBQ party. 
    Married Bio - Now w/ Pro Pics
    Photobucket
    June 2012 Bride!
    Report Reply
  • peaches827peaches827 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Thanks everyone!
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards