Anyone else contemplating pushing back their date?

sarahtrg · September 2013

I was just wondering if there were any other brides-to-be out there crunching the numbers and realizing 13 months (in my case) from now may just not be feasible! I'd really love a fall wedding but I also don't want to have the dreaded two year engagement. My significant other and I are now fighting about dates and ugh! It's becoming a headache. Is anyone else newly engaged encountering similar issues?

love0208 · September 2013

HI

I am just recently engaged and my fiance and I are going through with a 2 year engagement. Although that is not my ideal choice, I find that having that 2 year time to plan is less stressful. I am taking my time shopping for venues, dresses, decor, etc. It is actually fun! More importantly you want to make sure you have no regrets, this is one day, it will never happen again. If a fall wedding is something you want then you focus on that, not the time. Spend the 2 years enjoying each other and enjoying planning. You 2 have already made a lifetime commitment, there is no rush

Hope this helps

sarahtrg · September 2013

Thanks @pearl78. What sort of wedding planning activities are you doing to keep yourself excited and involved when you have so much time to plan? I really wish there was a forum geared just to brides with longer engagements!

love0208 · September 2013

That's a great question. I think when it comes to making yourself busy you need to home in on your passions and what you enjoy to do and incorporate that into your planning. For me, I love to shop and research. Considering that after only a month of searching we found our venue, now I am having fun with shopping for the gown.

eTypically you really want to give a shop a minimum of 6 months to a year to order your gown. Anything shorter then that is a rush order and pushing into a final fitting sometimes anywhere from a month or less to your big day! So I am instantly comfortable that whatever I find, I am going to get with minimal stress.

Considering I am looking for something different, I have been doing alot of research on designers here and abroad and seamstress who are really good with making a dress. I am also shopping possibly for a wedding planner. And last but not least the details of the ceremony and venue as far as how do I want it to look. With 2 years ahead of me, I can plan whatever I want within budget.

My focus is to take the time to look at the little things so when my day comes, I have no regrets!

ohmrs2014 · September 2013

By the time my FI and I get married, we will have been engaged for 2 years and 10 months. We spend the first 8 months enjoying our engagement and then we set a date for 22 months away. Enjoy it!!! Who cares if you have a long engagement. Use this time to set a budget and do research on venues and other vendors you will have to hire. Create a basic guest list to help with the budget. I bought my wedding dress a year and a half out and I still love it, but not everyone gets that lucky when they purchase so far in advance, so be careful with that but there's def nothing wrong with looking and getting ideas.

And in terms of numbers and the budget, don't be afraid to scale the event down. Have a wedding that you guys can afford and that won't break the bank.

Happy planning and congrats on your engagement!!!

HisGirlFriday13 · September 2013

FI and I got engaged Dec. 21, and are getting married Oct. 13. We had a just-under 10-month engagement, and quite honestly, that's been too long for me. I'm ready to be married, I'm ready to be done planning, I'm ready to be his wife.

I know that a lot of people enjoy longer engagements -- and for financial reasons maybe they need one -- but I am very glad we're having a short engagement. That's obviously just my $.02, so take it for what it's worth!

atlastmrsg · September 2013

13 months is longer than you think. You can do it!

But the good news is that if you have to wait longer, than you'll deal with waiting to have the fall wedding of your dreams.

I'll be engaged for 17 months. It made my life easy--the hardest thing to book ended up being a band. The best bands that I talked to were booked over a year out for a lot of choice weekends. I ordered my dress right one year out, but that was just because the trunk show was in my city at that time. I could have waited longer, but I wouldn't have received the trunk show discount. As it turns out, the dress will be delivered by Lazaro seven months from the date of order, so I'll have plenty of time for alterations (3.5 to 4 months!)

If you're just overwhelmed by scheduling a florist, caterer, band, etc., and think that's why you can't get it done in 13 months while you do other things like work, take care of kids, etc.--whatever your circumstances are--consider hiring a planner. Let him/her worry about the timing of everything so you can enjoy the engagement. If your heart is set on a fall wedding, your wedding planner could definitely make it happen so long as your venue is available (if you're heart's set on one particular place...)

mkgbts83 · September 2013

Hi all - I came to this thread (1st post) seeking out other long engagements. We got engaged on my birthday just about a month ago, are just starting to look at venues and are already talking Fall 2015! I kept bringing up Fall 2014, but it seems that may be too quick (and we love fall). Also, financially speaking (for us personally, not the wedding budget) might be a better idea for us.

Now that I am crunching the calendar numbers, we will be engaged for 25 months and dating 22 months. I have had many people tell me the dreaded 2 year engagement (including my bff) is rough, but others telling me to enjoy the romantic time of calling each other fiances.

I agree with sarahtrg I wish there was a thread just for Long Engagments!

Happy planning everyone!

sarahtrg · September 2013

@mkgbts83 I wonder if there is anyone we could ask to create a forum just for brides with longer engagements!

phira · September 2013

It honestly really depends on a lot of factors.

My partner and I want to get married on our 3-year anniversary (14 month engagement). It's an off-season Sunday, which means that venues are bending over backwards with discounts for us. We're paying for the wedding ourselves and don't make a lot of money, so to get married on our anniversary, we're budgeting like pros, doing a lot of DIY, and looking for cost-cutting measures wherever we can.

We've talked about whether or not we'd want to push back the date. Since we really love the off-season Sunday discounts we've been offered, we'd be pushing it back a year (wouldn't be able to get our anniversary, but we could still get close). However, we talked about it, and an additional year of saving money isn't going to be necessary to have the kind of wedding we want. It would mean feeling more comfortable that we won't go over-budget (and have to dig into savings). But we're still not planning on spending thousands on my wedding dress. We'd still make paper flowers. We'd still hire my friend for photography.

Because we're also not terribly young (when we get married, I'll be 28 and he'll be almost 31), we're not really interested in waiting much longer to be married. If it were up to me, I'd elope and marry him on our 2-year anniversary this fall.

If your priority is a fall wedding, and you don't want to wait two years to get married, then I suggest finding as many ways to cut costs as you can, or try to get a late fall date (like November). If you don't mind having a spring wedding, though, it might be good to try to get an early spring date so you can still take advantage of the off-season.

Anyone else contemplating pushing back their date?

Re: Anyone else contemplating pushing back their date?

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