Anniversary Party Etiquette Question

caroline.leyden · September 2013

Hi--I have never posted on here but I have read the advice when planning my own wedding, and have a question about an upcoming surprise anniversary party my brother and I are planning for our parents.

It is a 40th Anniversary Surprise party for our parents, and we are asking guests to arrive at 7:00 and the party will begin at 7:30 when the guests' of honor show up. We are serving heavy appetizers and drinks. The heavy appetizers include three stationary appitizers that include a ravioli Alfredo dish, meat and cheese platter with breads, and calamari along with 4 passed appetizers for two hours.

My question is do I need to put on the invite something about drinks and heavy appetizers will be served, or will people assume that there will be dinner served since it is starting at 7:30? Right now the wording on the invite says "40th anniversary celebration party". I don't want people to show up and expect dinner,, since there is not going to be a dinner but there should be plenty of food that people can make it their dinner. I just don't want to be wrong etiquette wise in what people are expecting at a party at 7:30 in the evening.

Thanks, any thoughts and help would be appreciated!

SomethingBeautiful08 · September 2013

Unless the people you invite normally eat very late, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Unless there was another related event before this, I wouldn't expect dinner at 7:30.

NYCMercedes · September 2013

Unless the party started at eight, I'd expect it to include dinner. It sounds as though your plan is essentially dinner, however, so don't worry about it. Some people will eat more and some less. Your parents are very lucky!

manateehugger · September 2013

I'd expect dinner at 7:30, but as long as I can get basically a mealfull off your apps, I think you're fine.

allispain · September 2013

Given the time and the context, I wouldn't expect a full meal. I don't think it would be wrong for you to put "Drinks and heavy appetizers to be served" or something similar on the bottom of the invitation, if you were worried about it being unclear to your guests.

STARMOON44 · September 2013

"you are invited to join us at a 40th anniversary cocktail party" would work for me.

At 7:30 I would absolutely be expecting dinner. At a cocktail party, I'd be expecting apps. I probably wouldn't eat beforehand, but my meat-n-2-veg dad would definitely like to fix himself a "real" meal at home first.

caroline.leyden · September 2013

Thanks everyone so far for your advice! I just don't want to mislead people, with thinking they will be having a full dinner, so I like the idea of saying cocktail party on the invite to make it more clear.

It will be at a restaurant with a banquet room, Maggiano's ( I know it is a National Chain so some of you might be familiar with the restaurant).

misssunshine17 · September 2013

I think I would add cocktail party just to be safe, however, it sounds like you'll have plenty of food so if someone was super hungry, they would be fine.

JoanE2012 · September 2013

Ditto PPs....I like the idea of listing it as a cocktail party. Only thing....I would probably reconsider the calamari and have something of a bit more substance as the third station.

itzMS · September 2013

caroline.leyden said:

Thanks everyone so far for your advice! I just don't want to mislead people, with thinking they will be having a full dinner, so I like the idea of saying cocktail party on the invite to make it more clear.

It will be at a restaurant with a banquet room, Maggiano's ( I know it is a National Chain so some of you might be familiar with the restaurant).

Part of my wedding reception was at Maggianos.

People INHALED the apps. I'm not kidding. We had 7 passed apps, and ordered enough for 1.2 times our guests (whatever the standard was per the banquet manager), and we had to order more.

Just be prepared! Maggianos is super tasty and people love the food!

ceceibson · September 2013

I wouldn't expect dinner at that time for this type of event. However, OP, your post says guests will arrive at 7:00 and the party will start at 7:30. If I was a guest, I would certainly expect that when I arrived at 7:00, the bar would be open and there would be some type of something to munch on [as opposed to guests standing around for half an hour and then the bar and food becoming available at 7:30].

Maggie0829 · September 2013

I think listing it as a cocktail party would definitely be helpful letting others know that a full dinner will not be served. If it were me and I was invited to a 7pm party at a restaurant I would be expecting dinner so knowing it was a cocktail party would be beneficial.

Maybe try to include one more heavy app station and one more passed app option if possible. Also make sure that there is some lighter fair (veggies, fruit, nuts, etc) available for the guests to munch on when they first get there and before your parents show up.

caroline.leyden · September 2013

Thanks everyone for your advice! I am going to go ahead and change it to Cocktail Party on the invite, and will add a little bit more food! I just want all the guests to have a nice time (as well as my parents!) and would like people to know what to expect when the come for the party!

Your advice was very much appreciated!!!! Thanks again!

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