A "small" registry

Re: A "small" registry

• manateehugger member

  

  September 2013 edited September 2013

  Maybe the best option for you is to register for just a few upgrades that you'd be willing to haul across the country. I don't know that there's an exact number that's good as much as size of item (e.g. a new food processor will take up way more room than a set of linen napkins).

  If I were you, I'd add new linens, towels, utensils, maybe a small appliance here or there, and a couple of small decor pieces and call it a day. Try to come up with a decent range of prices. I'd walk around my house and look at the little things that are getting a little worn.

  ETA: Do you have your new address? You could set your registry up so that guests can ship their gifts before or after the wedding directly to your house.

  

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• cruffino member

  

  September 2013

  i had this same question and we ultimately decided not to register. i have a large family and with 80 women invited to the bridal luncheon, i thought it would be more hassle than it's worth to have a "small" registry, which in my case could have easily been bought out, causing questions and confusion. no registry just seemed more straightforward. 

  
  

  as to your question, maybe a registry that has a number of gifts that is 25%-50% of the number of attendees to your bridal shower and wedding? i'm sure someone else can chime in with better advice. 

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• itzMS member

  

  September 2013

  kelceya said:

  Hi ladies! I've been lurking the etiquette board for a while and fortunately I've been able to answer some of my own questions just through reading. For example, my fiance and I are in a similar position to many in that we would prefer not to receive traditional, bulky wedding gifts due to our current location and living situation. I have come to understand that the best way to handle this scenario is to create a small registry for those who may still like to purchase a physical gift and respond with something to the effect of "We're registered at ___________ but we're planning on moving soon" if anyone should ask us directly.
  
  That sounds fine to me, but with limited wedding experience I'm not really sure how to enact this plan. What exactly is a "small registry"? Are we talking four items? Ten? Twenty-five? Should this be based on the number of guests invited? Should they be on the pricier side, or more reasonable? I don't want to come across as rude, I just want to save any guests the difficulty of navigating a trans-continental registry and gift-giving experience. Thanks for your help!
  

  
  Remember, you can also register at a major National chain (BBB or Macys), return the gifts locally to your wedding, and repurchase with the store credit in your new hometown.

  Everyone can always use new sheets, glassware, serving utensils.

   

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  September 2013

  It depends on how many people you're inviting to the wedding. You don't need as many things on a registry if you're only having 30 guests than if you're having 200 guests. As for price range, that also depends on your crowd, but include a range. Keep in mind that one item could be a box that has one plate, one salad plate, one bowl and a mug, so it's pretty easy to register for lots of stuff quickly if you get a set of dishes. 

  
  

  Register for stuff you'll always need - linens wear out, dishes and glasses break. 
  

  
  

  You can also have stuff shipped wherever you want - to your new house, to a relative's house, etc. 

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• ac411020 member

  

  September 2013

  Please don't have people gifts buy you gifts, just so you can return them and purchase them again. I worked at BBB for years, and unfortunately have seen this happen a lot of times.  It makes a lot of work for all the employees as well as for your guests who spent their time picking out a gift for you that you are going to return and repurchase.  I think it makes a lot more sense to either request to have your guests ship the gifts where you are moving or only register for things that you are willing to carry with you when you move as well as gift cards so you can buy the rest of the items you would like after you move.

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• kelceya member

  

  September 2013

  Thanks for the responses! I probably should have added that our final address is abroad. This doesn't make things impossible, but it does make them a bit more difficult. Perhaps someone could recommend a chain that would be willing to ship overseas? Would our international guests also be able to use such a registry?
  

  
  

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• itzMS member

  

  September 2013

  akosakow said:

  Please don't have people gifts buy you gifts, just so you can return them and purchase them again. I worked at BBB for years, and unfortunately have seen this happen a lot of times.  It makes a lot of work for all the employees as well as for your guests who spent their time picking out a gift for you that you are going to return and repurchase.  I think it makes a lot more sense to either request to have your guests ship the gifts where you are moving or only register for things that you are willing to carry with you when you move as well as gift cards so you can buy the rest of the items you would like after you move.

  @akosakow, I'm sorry...but what are you talking about?!

  A lot of work for employees? You get paid your hourly wage as a BBB employee to do returns at the customer service desk. I've worked in retail. People do returns allllll the time. It's NBD.

  Why is it a lot of work for the guests? The guests would have no idea that you're returning the item and repurchasing in your new hometown. They also would have no idea if they come to visit your home that the vase is the not one they bought at the Chicago BBB versus the one you repurchased at the Los Angeles BBB. Again, NBD.

  
   

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• misssunshine17 member

  

  September 2013 edited September 2013

  OP, it sounds like it is probably better for you if you just don't register. You might end up with a few random gifts, but if someone asks "We decided not to register, but we're saving up for XYZ." People will get the hint you want cash and most will probably figure it out if they're aware you're moving. 

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• ac411020 member

  

  September 2013

  @itzms Yes, it is an employees job to do returns.  And most of the time doing a return is no big deal because it's only for a few items. However, when someone comes in to return ALL the items from their registry a return like that can take quite a lot of time. 

  So when you come in to return let's say 100 items, this is going to take me about a  half hour to process your return.  Now I can't help any other customers so other people have to wait longer than necessary.  So I call another employee away from what they are doing to help me.  Now they are being taken away from what they are supposed to be doing too.  Plus, then yet another employee has to put away all the items you returned.

  You are now wasting my time, other employees time, and other customers time because you decided to create a registry knowing in advance that you were going to return everything.  Purposefully setting out to waste people's time is rude.  You can say that's the employees jobs, but you are also inconveniencing other customers.

  As I guest, if I found out that you went and returned and repurchased everything I would feel bad that you had to do all of that extra work, when I could have shipped you the item to begin with or just given you a gift card.

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• manateehugger member

  

  September 2013

  kelceya said:

  Thanks for the responses! I probably should have added that our final address is abroad. This doesn't make things impossible, but it does make them a bit more difficult. Perhaps someone could recommend a chain that would be willing to ship overseas? Would our international guests also be able to use such a registry?
  

  Gotcha. We might end up being in the same boat actually (yay military). If that happens, our plan is to register for a small number of things we can shove into a suitcase (towels, linens, etc.) and then not register for anything else. Shipping anything with a substantial amount of weight overseas is a PITA and usually not worth it, especially for things like towels and spoons.

  I've been to weddings of couples living overseas. They usually had tiny registries and their card box was full. Most people figure it out pretty well. Just return any random gifts you don't want to take over.

  Remember that if you choose not to register, accepting a shower is a no-no. Showers are for physical gifts.
  

  

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• ac411020 member

  

  September 2013

   

  alisonmarie658 said:

  akosakow said:

  Please don't have people gifts buy you gifts, just so you can return them and purchase them again. I worked at BBB for years, and unfortunately have seen this happen a lot of times.  It makes a lot of work for all the employees as well as for your guests who spent their time picking out a gift for you that you are going to return and repurchase.  I think it makes a lot more sense to either request to have your guests ship the gifts where you are moving or only register for things that you are willing to carry with you when you move as well as gift cards so you can buy the rest of the items you would like after you move.

  Um, that's the employee's job and it makes you sound really lazy. It takes less than 5 minutes to return an item and probably less than 3 minutes to walk to where ever the item is in the store and put the box on the shelf or put it in the back in storage.

  Yes it takes less than 5 minutes to return an item and less than 3 minutes to put it away.  That's for a normal return.  Returning every item on your registry is entirely different and is very time consuming. 

  Not wanting someone to return their entire registry has nothing to do with laziness.  In addition to helping customers every employee has other work they need to get done.  Plus, by monopolizing the employees' time returning the entire registry, you are making less employees available to help other customers and therefore making them wait longer for help too.
  

   

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• kelceya member

  

  September 2013

  Thank you PDKH, that sounds like a good idea. We'll just plan to keep the registry small in all senses of the word!
  

  
  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  September 2013 edited September 2013

  akosakow said:

  @itzms Yes, it is an employees job to do returns.  And most of the time doing a return is no big deal because it's only for a few items. However, when someone comes in to return ALL the items from their registry a return like that can take quite a lot of time. 

  So when you come in to return let's say 100 items, this is going to take me about a  half hour to process your return.  Now I can't help any other customers so other people have to wait longer than necessary.  So I call another employee away from what they are doing to help me.  Now they are being taken away from what they are supposed to be doing too.  Plus, then yet another employee has to put away all the items you returned.

  You are now wasting my time, other employees time, and other customers time because you decided to create a registry knowing in advance that you were going to return everything.  Purposefully setting out to waste people's time is rude.  You can say that's the employees jobs, but you are also inconveniencing other customers.

  As I guest, if I found out that you went and returned and repurchased everything I would feel bad that you had to do all of that extra work, when I could have shipped you the item to begin with or just given you a gift card.

  akosakow said:

  alisonmarie658 said:

  akosakow said:

  Please don't have people gifts buy you gifts, just so you can return them and purchase them again. I worked at BBB for years, and unfortunately have seen this happen a lot of times.  It makes a lot of work for all the employees as well as for your guests who spent their time picking out a gift for you that you are going to return and repurchase.  I think it makes a lot more sense to either request to have your guests ship the gifts where you are moving or only register for things that you are willing to carry with you when you move as well as gift cards so you can buy the rest of the items you would like after you move.

  Um, that's the employee's job and it makes you sound really lazy. It takes less than 5 minutes to return an item and probably less than 3 minutes to walk to where ever the item is in the store and put the box on the shelf or put it in the back in storage.

  Yes it takes less than 5 minutes to return an item and less than 3 minutes to put it away.  That's for a normal return.  Returning every item on your registry is entirely different and is very time consuming. 

  Not wanting someone to return their entire registry has nothing to do with laziness.  In addition to helping customers every employee has other work they need to get done.  Plus, by monopolizing the employees' time returning the entire registry, you are making less employees available to help other customers and therefore making them wait longer for help too.

  So what? You get paid by the hour and working at BBB isn't exactly manual labor. Every single time I'm at BBB (which is more than I'd like to admit), I don't exactly see employees walking around saying, "Can I help you with that?" "What can I help you find today?" "I see you're looking at a shower curtain, do you have any questions?" It's not exactly known for stellar customer service. So to say the employees should be helping other people... yea ok. If the lines are long, it's the managers job to redistribute staff and open up more than 3 of the 10 registers that are usually open...

  
  

  ETA: I worked and managed retail, so I have no sympathy for this.

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• ac411020 member

  

  September 2013

  I'm not looking for sympathy.  Working at BBB was one of the most enjoyable jobs I have had, and had I not gotten my degree in a different field I would have liked to continue to work there. 

  I get that it's the employees jobs to help, but I would never purchase multiple items knowing that I was going to return all of them.  Just like I would never go into a clothing store and unfold a bunch of shirts and leave them in a pile, because "it's the employees" job to clean up the store.  I would never do something to purposefully make more work for other people when there is an easier solution. To me it doesn't make sense.  I think it makes a lot more sense to have the gifts shipped, only purchase gifts that can be moved, or register for gift cards.  I think it will make for a lot less work for the poster as well as everyone else involved.

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• mommapizano member

  

  September 2013

  I saw someone in another thread say they registered for an international registry like Amazon UK and had their gifts shipped internationally. I'm not sure if that might be an option for you.

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• misssunshine17 member

  

  September 2013

  akosakow said:

  I'm not looking for sympathy.  Working at BBB was one of the most enjoyable jobs I have had, and had I not gotten my degree in a different field I would have liked to continue to work there. 

  I get that it's the employees jobs to help, but I would never purchase multiple items knowing that I was going to return all of them.  Just like I would never go into a clothing store and unfold a bunch of shirts and leave them in a pile, because "it's the employees" job to clean up the store.  I would never do something to purposefully make more work for other people when there is an easier solution. To me it doesn't make sense.  I think it makes a lot more sense to have the gifts shipped, only purchase gifts that can be moved, or register for gift cards.  I think it will make for a lot less work for the poster as well as everyone else involved.

  
  

  *Can't get out of box:

  Did you read the thread? Have you every tried to ship internationally? I'm guessing not since you think buying sheets and shipping them are worth it? Absolutely not. OP would spend double what they're worth on shipping. 

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• ac411020 member

  

  September 2013

  I agree shipping gifts internationally would not make sense.  But since the poster is moving internationally returning the items and repurchasing them would probably not work either. 

  I think the poster made a good decision to create a small registry and only ask for items that they are able to carry with them when they move.

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