ceremony location is now inaccessible...wedding next weekend...I don't even know.....

Re: ceremony location is now inaccessible...wedding next weekend...I don't even know.....

• monkeysip member

  

  September 2013

  I'm so sorry all this is going on.  And not just for your wedding, but all the property and lives lost in CO right now is just awful

  
  

  I think you may need to reevaluate your wedding in terms of what is MOST important.  Violinists, photo spots, and cutesy ceremony wording is not important (I'm not trying to belittle the things, just saying when big problems strike, your priorities change).

  
  

  Fortunately, you have a small wedding, so maybe there's another local park area or a community center you could hold the ceremony at, or even at the restaurant you're using for the reception?

  
  

  Try to keep the time the same (if it must change, just call everyone and let them know), make sure you have some chairs, and bathrooms aren't necessary for a short ceremony but they are necessary for a reception.  

  
  

  30 minutes is a little bit of a drive, but honestly, if you have 30 guests, it seems like you could call them and ask them how they feel about that.  They may be more understanding under the circumstances.  

  
  

  Hope everything works out well! 

  
  

  
  

  
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• doeydo member

  

  September 2013 edited September 2013

  A thirty minute drive isn't that bad.  Also, you should contact everyone of the guests sooner rather than later with the updated location.

  ETA realized when the wedding was

  
  

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• WonderRed member

  

  September 2013 edited September 2013

  I'm in the Denver area and when I first heard about how bad it was in Estes, Lyons, and Boulder one of the first thing I thought about was all the weddings there this weekend and next and wondering how many brides were going to be displaced.  Estes alone must do 20 weddings per weekend. The area is really just completely devastated.   We have friends up there who have lost everything.  Take a deep breath and don't be worried about rallying the troops for help here.   You'll get this figured out and have one heck of a story to tell your kids and grandkids down the road.
  
  So, all things considered, a 30 minute drive from ceremony to reception is going to be fine and your guests will understand.   Where were you doing it before?  If you don't take the friend up on her offer (which I would, just for the peace of mind at this point) perhaps I can help you brainstorm some other locations.  
  
  huge  (((HUGS))))
  

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• 2012FutureMrsB member

  

  September 2013

  I would suggest at this point making arrangements to have the ceremony at the restaurant. Explain to them what has happened (I'm sure they'll understand!) and see what can be done. I went to a wedding once on a small boat. Everyone sat at their dinner table and the bridesmaids and bride walked down the "aisle" (between the tables) and they held the ceremony at one end of the room. It was actually a lot of fun because we didn't have to be reseated or go anywhere for the reception. At this point, I would at least look into and consider it Plan A, and going to the original location is Plan B (in case they do open up the road).

  
  

  I know this sucks and it seems that your plans might be ruined, but honestly, I'm sure a lot of your decorations and plans can be accommodated in a different way at the restaurant and you will still get to wear your dress and get married in front of friends and family! It will be a day to remember with a great story

  
  

  Good luck!

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• WinstonsGirl member

  

  September 2013

  I'm not sure how much I can help, but I'm sad to hear you're going through this.  I know it's smaller in the grand scheme of the disaster out there, but it's still important to you and ok to feel stressed about it.  

  
  

  Personally, I don't think 30 mins is too far to drive, especially in regards to the flooding.  If a friend called and said her wedding was 15 min further away because of flooding like that, I'd have no problem driving the extra bit to a new location.  Good luck finding something new and don't be afraid to think outside of the box on locations.  You may end up with a very cool place you had never thought of

  
  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  September 2013

  *(virtual hug)*
  
  Sounds like you want to get married outside. Personally I would take your friend up on using her backyard. With less than a week to go, I'd do that over tryingto arrange for something more complicated in a hot minute. A 30 minute drive is not that bad. You have a small group and your area is in disaster recovery mode. As a guest, I wouldn't think twice about it.
  
  Don't rewrite any of your ceremony - it sounds lovely. Obviously everyone knows where the ceremony was supposed to take place and you're in CO so it's no like anyone would wonder why it's written that way.
  
  Keep the ceremony at the same time if possible. Use the table cloths you were going to use. Just get a folding card table or one of those plastic banquet tables (usually big box stores have these, rent from an equipment vendor).
  
  Really sorry this has happened to you. It sounds like you have a really good attitude and perspective on this. Keep your chin up!

  *********************************************************************************

  
  

  

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• rvg22 member

  

  September 2013

  Thank you everyone! I think I needed some perspective. I am getting hung up on details (which I guess is probably normal for 1 week out) but at this point screw the tablecloths. The violinist can still play, hopefully. If not we only lose a $50 deposit so whatever. People will hopefully think it is funny that our ceremony sounds like we are in the mountains, haha.

  
  

  So I guess I have options. Probably friend's backyard is the easiest option at this point.  I'm glad the consensus is that it is fine to make people drive 30 min. Possibly rude to the neighbors, b/c ~10-12 cars need to be parked nearby, and there may be "live music" (that violinist, and a guitar duet during the ceremony by 2 brothers), but we could scratch it all if need be. We will be out of there by 5 pm.  I will talk to the restaurant, but I don't have high hopes of having the ceremony there.  We are actually eating at a restaurant that is in a hotel that "does weddings" but only very expensive fancy ones (with a 20k minimum expenditure on Sat nights) and I'm sure they already have a wedding in their "wedding gazebo" space for that afternoon evening. And our dinner is not in a private room, just our own "wing" that is pretty open to the rest of the space, so I would feel uncomfortable having the ceremony IN the restaurant, I think. But it doesn't hurt to ask what they could do, I suppose. 

  
  

  You guys have answered my questions helpfully before but this is the first time that I was SO very grateful that this forum existed. I don't feel like I can complain/vent to anyone local about this because people in the area really do have actual issues right now  People are canceling everything (classes, football games, etc.) but the wedding must go on, I think, since many plane tickets have been purchased. So thank goodness for these boards where people will listen to me talk about my wedding-related problems. Thank you!!

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• monkeysip member

  

  September 2013

  Obviously there are much worse problems going on (lives and homes lost), but like a PP said, your wedding IS important.  Marrying the love of your life is a very special event for an individual, so it's OK to treat it as important and let yourself be happy during this time.

  
  

  If anything, during all the tragedy, it's good to have little lights of happiness.  It makes you think about what's important in life, like love, marriage, and your friends and family!

  
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• APDSS22 member

  

  September 2013

  My family lives up there and apparently the flooding got pretty close, but luckily they did not have to evacuate.  My sister did, her apartment flooded.  From what I'm hearing some of the businesses and things in town are starting to open back up.  I'd go ahead and plan for your friend's backyard and research if you need any noise permits or anything although you're probably clear with very little noise and out by 5pm.  30 minutes around that area isn't too far to drive, most everyone's used to it.  Good luck with the nuptials!
  

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• Dreamergirl8812 member

  

  September 2013

  

  
  
  
  

  
  
  
  
  

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• libby2483 member

  

  September 2013

  I'm sorry that you're dealing with this.  All things considered, you seem to be handling it well.  I think that a 30 minute drive is totally fine, and I would take your friend up on using her backyard.  I don't think 10-12 cars and some light instrumental music in the afternoon will be too inconvenient for her neighbors, but I might give them a head's up about the wedding (just so they are aware there will be increased traffic and noise).  Your wedding will still be beautiful!

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• clg1213 member

  

  September 2013

  Another nod for the backyard and another virtual hug for the stress. 

  I might give the neighbors a heads up (depends on how much the parking and sound might impact folks and what kind of area it is...on my street, I think it'd be appropriate)....you don't need a ton of details, just tell them the plan got flooded out and you wanted to let them know there'd be some extra cars and some music but that it would all wrap up by 5.  I'd make it a "telling" rather than an "asking".  BUT if there are any grumpy neighbors that the hosts know of then I might avoid them or leave a note to avoid anyone trying to say "no" (which they really don't have a right to do....).

  And remember -- The important part is that you and your groom are able to say "I do"....everything else is gravy.  Plus, you can say you've already had to work extra hard to get married so you've earned a lighter stress load in the marriage itself!!

   

  P.S.  My cousin's wedding was in NJ less than 2 weeks after Sandy....the couple was evacuated and had to live at my aunt/uncle's until a couple days before (luckily her stuff was there...her folks lost power but were fine otherwise, her apt was fine too, but they didn't really know for sure until they were allowed back), the site got power only 2 days before the wedding, etc. etc.   She was lucky and it didn't end up requiring any changes, but it def added a few stories!

  P.P.S.  I can't decide if I want to suggest taking a few wedding pics including the floods.  I'd want to memorialize the realities of the day, and your awesome resilience in the face of such altered plans, but I also would want to avoid being inappropriate in light of all the loss.

  

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• nextrightthing member

  

  September 2013

  So sorry this is going on.  I agree with PP that 30 minutes is fine, even expected in some areas.  Do it at your friend's home if necessary.  With such a small guest list, I would think you'd be okay telling everyone now that you aren't sure whether the ceremony will be at the park or at the friend's, but you will confirm on Thursday or Friday.  That way if it is accessible you can still have it where you planned?  I might be wrong on this.  Good luck to you...I imagine this i quite stressful.

  

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• crunchymamaof2 member

  

  September 2013

  Don't worry about stressing over this! I think you're actually being really calm about things considering all that's happened.

  I think your friends backyard is the best option. 10-12 cars and some instrumental music doesn't seem like that big of a deal. I know for our boys birthday parties we have more cars than that and well, 10 kids in a bounce house isn't very quiet! But we also live on a side street and most of our neighbors get invited. I'm willing to bet if your friend offered the house she doesn't foresee it being an issue. A note to the neighbors wouldn't be a bad thing though. A 30 minute drive isn't a big deal either. With such a small guest list you're probably very close to almost all of them and I'm sure they wouldn't hesitate to drive an extra 15 minutes considering the circumstances.

  I'm so sorry this has happened. The entire disaster is just incredibly sad. *hugs*

  After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

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• allispain member

  

  September 2013

  Another virtual hug on its way.

  
  

  I agree with PPs that the friend's house would be a good plan at this point. I wouldn't have any problem driving an extra 15 minutes to get there, especially given the circumstances. And since this would only be for the ceremony and not the reception as well (ie - no loud music, dancing, etc.) I don't think it should be cause for complaint among the neighbors. Certainly it would be nice for the homeowner to leave them a quick note in their mailboxes to let them know it will be taking place (and that will hopefully prevent nosy neighbors from coming to see what is going on and walking into the backyard right in middle of your ceremony...) but I really don't think anyone will be likely to take issue with a few extra cars on the street at that time of day. Heck, most football parties I've been to involve more cars than that on any given Sunday.

  
  

  Good luck with whatever plan you do end up deciding to make, and congrats on your upcoming marriage!

  
  

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• rvg22 member

  

  September 2013

  Thank you all. I reread my OP and I sure sound like a pathetic person. I don't usually go around asking for hugs, hahaha  I was feeling completely overwhelmed but now I am feeling much more optimistic!  I went over to the friend's house last night and we envisioned how the wedding would go and talked some logistics and it sounds like it will work out well! There are actually lots of perks too, compared to our park in the mountains. We lose the views, but.....we can have glass bottles of champagne! (glass was illegal.) I have a proper room to get ready in! (I would have had to get ready at home and drive up and hang out in the car until I walked in.) There is a nice tall privacy fence! (the old location would have had many hikers and bikers passing by and staring). There is even a non-porta-potty bathroom for guests! Also, the next-door neighbors have a band who practices a few times a week, so this noise will be nothing

  
  

  My only dilemma is that FI is NOT excited about a backyard wedding   I am not at all sentimental, and he is the exact opposite. To him, it is really important that our wedding take place somewhere special that can be "ours" and a friend's backyard is not that I guess. His words: "they will probably sell it in a few years and then we can never visit it and I want like our kids and grandkids to be able to come to the spot." OK then. If this was a year out, I might think he is being sweet and thoughtful, but 6 days out I have minimal tolerance for this sappiness! I may have told him he is acting a bit like a teenaged girl. (yes, I am terrible). Who even knows where their parents got married? Not me.  

  
  

  So I guess he wants to keep looking a bit, and keep the backyard as a backup plan. Luckily our friends who own the house are awesome and flexible and ok with it being a very last minute decision. PP is right that our guests don't really need to know until a day or 2 before (since it doesn't affect their travel plans). I think the backyard would work out really well and be beautiful. Thank again everyone. I owe you all a hug when you need it

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• WonderRed member

  

  September 2013

  Hopefully CDOT will get right on getting the roads fixed and it won't be a problem by next weekend.  But first it need to stop freaking raining.   >:- (      At least with your guest list you can call everyone a couple of days in advance and change it.   Soggy fingers crossed that you'll be able to get up there. You're going to have a fantastic day, regardless.
  

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• allispain member

  

  September 2013

  rvg22 said:

  Thank you all. I reread my OP and I sure sound like a pathetic person. I don't usually go around asking for hugs, hahaha  I was feeling completely overwhelmed but now I am feeling much more optimistic!  I went over to the friend's house last night and we envisioned how the wedding would go and talked some logistics and it sounds like it will work out well! There are actually lots of perks too, compared to our park in the mountains. We lose the views, but.....we can have glass bottles of champagne! (glass was illegal.) I have a proper room to get ready in! (I would have had to get ready at home and drive up and hang out in the car until I walked in.) There is a nice tall privacy fence! (the old location would have had many hikers and bikers passing by and staring). There is even a non-porta-potty bathroom for guests! Also, the next-door neighbors have a band who practices a few times a week, so this noise will be nothing

  
  

  My only dilemma is that FI is NOT excited about a backyard wedding   I am not at all sentimental, and he is the exact opposite. To him, it is really important that our wedding take place somewhere special that can be "ours" and a friend's backyard is not that I guess. His words: "they will probably sell it in a few years and then we can never visit it and I want like our kids and grandkids to be able to come to the spot." OK then. If this was a year out, I might think he is being sweet and thoughtful, but 6 days out I have minimal tolerance for this sappiness! I may have told him he is acting a bit like a teenaged girl. (yes, I am terrible). Who even knows where their parents got married? Not me.  

  
  

  So I guess he wants to keep looking a bit, and keep the backyard as a backup plan. Luckily our friends who own the house are awesome and flexible and ok with it being a very last minute decision. PP is right that our guests don't really need to know until a day or 2 before (since it doesn't affect their travel plans). I think the backyard would work out really well and be beautiful. Thank again everyone. I owe you all a hug when you need it

  Love the bolded. That would have been my reaction too :-) 

  
  

  I'm glad that you're looking at this likely change in plans with so much optimism. Hopefully your FI isn't too stuck on that one particular spot and you two will be able to come up with a compromise together!

  
  

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• HuckSC member

  

  September 2013

  I'd go with the friends backyard although I do understand your FI's interest in it being at a place that is easy accessible.
  
  The road will take much longer to fix. It looks like there is a gas line and probably a water line exposed. These would have to be moved/covered before the road can be structurally put back together.
  

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• APDSS22 member

  

  September 2013

  You and your future husband could always visit the spot you were supposed to get married at and tell your future children how things changed at the last minute.  It would probably be an awesome story and way cooler than "this is where we got married, the end."  Just saying...
  

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• SP29 member

  

  September 2013

  {hugs}!

  
  

  I think your friend's backyard is a great idea. Use the table cloths, have the performers, whatever you originally planned to do. Your guests will understand this wasn't exactly "the plan" and I doubt they'd think twice about it. 

  
  

  I wouldn't worry about the neighbours. It'll be in the afternoon, so you aren't committing a noise violation (such as having a party late into the night). And if someone honestly complained about a lovely violin and guitar performance that in total lasted half an hour... c'mon! It is also only 30 people- people have house parties that size, and I am sure your event will be MUCH quieter. 

  
  

  Good luck with the event! A very stressful time for all. I hope you can enjoy your day of deserved happiness with friends and family. 

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• annathy03 member

  

  September 2013

  TheFutureMrsRohlman22 said:

  You and your future husband could always visit the spot you were supposed to get married at and tell your future children how things changed at the last minute.  It would probably be an awesome story and way cooler than "this is where we got married, the end."  Just saying...
  

  This. You could also do a vow renewal there when your children are old enough to understand the significance. Or do a "rock the dress" photo session there in a few weeks once the area is usable again.

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• clg1213 member

  

  September 2013

  I think it would be kind of fun to show up in 25 years, knock on the door, give them the one minute overview, and ask to take a few photos in the yard. 

  And you don't sound the least bit pathetic to me.  It just plain sucks.  And you probably can't go around talking about it given the losses suffered, so coming to Wedding World :P to vent is a great idea.  You deserve the hugs and sympathy! 

  

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