Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Vows

FI and I are in the process of picking out vows. We aren't writing them from scratch, but taking snippets of ones we have found online to create our own. Did/Are you sharing your vows with each other beforehand? We are toying with the idea of keeping them private and just hearing each other's at the ceremony, but we haven't decided yet. I love FI, but he is not big on reading and writing so I'm a little nervous how they might sound without working on them together.
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Re: Vows

  • We won't be sharing ours with each other beforehand. FI isn't the best writer in the world, but I don't really care. I wanna hear what he has to come up with on his own because regardless of what they look like on paper, I know that they'll come from his heart and be genuine.
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  • RailWayWifeRailWayWife member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited July 2013
    We are doing the same thing. We are showing each other what we come up with - otherwise I would turn into a blubbering emotional baby infront of 150 people. 

    For your vows are you memorizing them or reading from a paper at the ceremony?? 
  • We shared our vows with each other (thank god we did this, his were more of a note to me about what he loves about me rather than vows/promises), we made our vows so they flowed well with each other and had the same feel to them (some of the same words, same ending and format ect.).  
  • We aren't going to show them to each other. We can send them to the celebrant, who will inform us if they are way too different eg. He has 2 pages, I have 2 sentences. I want to hear his vows on the wedding day, not before.

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  • rel1988rel1988 member
    5 Love Its First Answer First Comment First Anniversary
    edited July 2013
    @RailWayWife noo definitely not memorizing! I'll be nervous enough! Our Pastor will have them and will read them and we will be repeating them back. We talked some more about it and I think I like the idea of hearing them first at the alter...make things more special. We have to give them in advance to our Pastor so we can ask his advice on how they flow together.
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  • We sat down and wrote ours together. Our officiant gave us a book full of pieces of vows. We basically cut and pasted and then changed the wording where we wanted to.

    It was actually really nice to sit down together and write them together. There was no pressure (I've always been terrified of having to sit down and write vows), and we go them done like 6 months ago.



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  • mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Mine are written. I shared them with my mom and she burst into tears...so I think I nailed it.  My FI is still working on his.  We will be writing them on note cards to have if our memory fails us. Definitely don't memorize them...have paper there to read off of just in case.  As far as sharing, I'd love to, but he refuses. Boo!
  • jdblnnjdblnn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I don't plan on sharing ours with each other beforehand.  We have had, and will likely have again, a conversation about the tone and substance of the vows generally, but I want the first time he hears mine to be at the wedding.  

    Not planning on memorizing, but I will go over them a few times before so I know them pretty well and won't be reading off paper the whole time.  A great thing I saw on pinterest that I plan on doing is having the vows printed on a small strip of paper and wrapping that around your bouquet.  When you're ready to ready you just un pin them, and read word by word.  Better than a notecard.  
  • My fiance and I decided to write our own vows. Not sure yet if we will share them with each before the ceremony. Part of me hopes we do because I think I would be a little less nervous. I look forward to writing mine. I have a few ideas already and I will definitely be looking around online for more ideas.

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  • This might sound cheesy but I LOVED the vows from the movie "The Vow'. We are going to mix & match the man's and woman's from the movie to make them slightly more our own.

  • Just roll with it. Let him write from,the heart

     
  • We are sharing our "outline" of our vows beforehand so that we both have similar things to say and one of us doesnt have a paragraph while the other wrote a book, lol. Our outline is something like this:
    I, x, take you, y, to be my wedded wife/husband
    I promise to (something personal)
    I promise to (something personal)
    You are the one I choose to spend the rest of my life with
    For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health
    For all of the days of my life.

    Pretty generic for the most part. But we both like the generic sounding vows. So we figured with a few personal promises it would make it even better.
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