How to say F*** no nicely?

hlvonb · September 2013

My cousin sent me a message today asking if we were planning on inviting her dad (my uncle) ( her mom and dad are divorced) to the wedding.
I don't know if she was asking hoping we will or will not. She didn't say.

How do I say "Hell to the f*** no because you're father is a pervert that your mother decided to divorce when they found child pornography on his computer!!!!!! and we will NOT have anyone like that at our wedding!!!" in a nice way without using the whole budget, only have x amount of people lines???

P.S. Not sure if this is the best board for this or not but please help if you can.

Jen4948 · September 2013

"I'm sorry, but no, we weren't planning on inviting your father."

doeydo · September 2013

"Sorry, but I don't think we will invite him" or the more forceful "Sorry, but no we are not inviting him".

misshart00 · September 2013

You don't have to give a reason. Just say youre not inviting him.

hoffse · September 2013

Honestly? I'm a nonconfrontational person so I just wouldn't answer.

Possibly not the most mature response, but the guestlist is absolutely none of her business - you don't have to explain yourself.

If you feel you have to answer, I would really just be like, "no we weren't able to invite him" and leave it at that. Again, no need to explain yourself... and probably not a good idea to tell her exactly what you're thinking, because that will require you to revisit old family drama

KeptInStitches · September 2013

"No, we're not inviting him."

Dreamergirl8812 · September 2013

I would definitely check pinterest. There has got to be a page for this.

HisGirlFriday13 · September 2013

Ditto PPs. You don't have to answer her at all. If you do choose to, I would couch it in terms of an absolute no without any pretences -- i.e., I wouldn't say, "I'm sorry, but no." Because you're not sorry.

I would just say, "No, we aren't going to be inviting your father to the wedding." Don't give a non-real excuse (budget, venue capacity, etc.), because that gives people a chance to come back with, "Well what if we pay for it? What if someone declines?"

Just say no, and move on. If she pushes, you're free to say, "We had to think about the safety and comfort of all of our guests, and a known pedophile isn't welcome in polite society."