Co-Ed bachelor/bachelorette party

VTBride51014 · September 2013

My best friend is getting married in September and as her moh, ill probably plan her bachelorette party just as she's planning mine for my upcoming wedding. However, she and her fiancé wan to have their parties together. I've never planned one like this and am a little afraid it might lead to disaster if one gets too jealous or upset and I'm also worried we might be limited in what we can do since it needs to be fun for everyone. Also I'm nit a fan of one if the grooms friends who will probably be there, but I'm going to sick it up for my friend...any advice or past experiences with this type of event? Thanks!

msuprincess04 · September 2013

I've been to two of these, and both felt more like a great party than a stereotypical "bachelor/bachelorette" party. There were no penis favors or strippers, but we all had a great time. The first was a cocktail party on a rooftop at a BM's condo building overlooking DC and the second was at Dave & Busters (a restaurant arcade).

Salsera29 · September 2013

We had separate B parties but ended up meeting up at the end of the night. Honestly, I wish we would have just done them together to begin with (it was one of those, "not a hill to die on" situations). In my case it was especially stupid because I had my best guy friend at my B party and he had his best girl friend at his, so it's not even like it was "just the girls" or "just the guys."

My point: We had the most fun when everyone was together, so I think it's a great idea!

southernbelle0915 · September 2013

How is this difficult? Just lose the cliche strippers and penises and plan a regular party. A bach doesn't have to be some crazy thing with livesavers on the bride's shirt, strippers, or scavenger hunts. All that stuff is super cliche. I don't know where you live, how many people there are, what the B&G are into, or what your budget is, but some ideas are: pub crawl, rent a party boat, tube down a river, reserve a VIP room at a club/bar, go to a casino, go to an amusement park... If you do something where the men/women go their separate ways and then meet up later, the guys could go golfing, fishing, arcading while the ladies get pedicures, go shopping or something and then you all meet up for dinner and the bar.

It doesn't have to be complicated or a "crazy bach" party. Presumably everyone is an adult and can party together without strippers or a dramatic jealousy takeover.

Salsera29 · September 2013

southernbelle0915 said:

How is this difficult? Just lose the cliche strippers and penises and plan a regular party. A bach doesn't have to be some crazy thing with livesavers on the bride's shirt, strippers, or scavenger hunts. All that stuff is super cliche. I don't know where you live, how many people there are, what the B&G are into, or what your budget is, but some ideas are: pub crawl, rent a party boat, tube down a river, reserve a VIP room at a club/bar, go to a casino, go to an amusement park... If you do something where the men/women go their separate ways and then meet up later, the guys could go golfing, fishing, arcading while the ladies get pedicures, go shopping or something and then you all meet up for dinner and the bar.

It doesn't have to be complicated or a "crazy bach" party. Presumably everyone is an adult and can party together without strippers or a dramatic jealousy takeover.

Agreed. We went for hibachi then to a comedy club. DH went to a steak house and a bar.

I missed the jealous line in the OP. What is there to be jealous about?

itzMS · September 2013

If she's getting married in a year, you'll have plenty of time to figure out details.

Personally, I would recommend the "big group" (guys and gals) going to dinner together, then perhaps parting ways for some bar hopping or a show or whatever.

If she's not open to this at all, well then, Facebook friend the best man and start tossing around ideas on how to keep everyone together and happy.

emmyg65 · September 2013

We did this and it was awesome. Our friends took us out to a nice dinner, then to our favorite bar, and then to the strip club. You could just replace the strip club with another activity that more people like, such as bowling, mini golf, or a pub crawl.

OliveOilsMom · September 2013

Dinner and going to a great bar would be pretty easy to plan. My BIL didn't want to go out with the guys, so we just took him and his now W out to dinner and it was our treat. We let him pick the place, since it was just the 4 of us.

If you have one in your area, a good time could be at a dueling pianos bar. If the whole group loves music, it could a good time and you would be able to request songs for the B&G.

Maggie0829 · September 2013

OP, when (or if) you all hang out as a group what are your favorite things to do? Whatever those items are then do that. I think a nice dinner out and then hitting up a favorite bar or club is a great and easy option.

@OliveOilsMom - I love our dueling pianos bar (Howl at the Moon). Always a great time!

OliveOilsMom · September 2013

@Maggie0829 We have one opening in Philly soon and I can't wait to go! We actually did a piano bar for my b-party. It was awesome!

msuprincess04 · September 2013

Maggie0829 said:

@OliveOilsMom - I love our dueling pianos bar (Howl at the Moon). Always a great time!

I agree, Howl at the Moon is always a blast, and would make a great co-ed bach party since it's both funny and flirty.

Neet2002 · September 2013

Glad someone posted this. My fiancé and I are planning on doing this over a weekend and have gotten mixed reviews from some of the bridal party.

VTBride51014 · October 2013

@maggie0829-b&g love to go out to the bars and clubs when out as a group, they also like the beach and being near the water (they are getting married at beach.) @salsera29, the jealousy is because he cheated not long before they got engaged and she's also been cheated on before. Many times we all go out and it's fine, but many other times when we all go out (including to celebrate their engagement) they start accusing each other of flirtatious behavior and end up fighting....

kitty8403 · October 2013

We haven't decided yet whether to do separate parties or a joint one. It sounds like they doing this because there is a trust problem, and that makes it awkward.
I'd suggest avoiding all stereotypical bachelor/bachelorette party stuff--skip the penises, strippers, etc, and just focus on a fun, clean experience. Bonfire? Camping trip? hot tub or hot springs party?

Jen4948 · October 2013

It can be done if you lose the penises, strippers, and other raunchy elements, and just try to have fun. Maybe have a beach party and skip the bars and clubs-that could help lessen the potential for accusations of flirtation and jealousy.

But if they insist on something that suggests to you that they are going to accuse each other no matter what, I'd step back and say, "Look, I'm sorry, but I don't want to be responsible for something that you have trust issues with. If you can't trust each other and be relaxed and not hurl accusations, then this is something I can't help you with."

Co-Ed bachelor/bachelorette party

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