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Gift condundrum!?

NSchiavo84NSchiavo84
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Is there anything we can say to guests who did not give a gift? We spent quite a bit of money on each guest, even though we tried to stay on a tight budget. Some - including the Best Man, groomsmen (one who requested and we obliged to give a plus one) and bridesmaid did not even give a CARD! Kind of want to let them know we are disappointed - any tactful way to do this? Or do we just hold our tounge?!
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Re: Gift condundrum!?

  • misshart00misshart00 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited June 2013
    No, there is no tactful way to do this. A gift is never required. And think about how much your wedding party spent to be there.
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    No.



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  • vineheart137vineheart137 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    No. There is no polite way to say anything. Nobody is required to bring you a gift. It would be incredibly rude to act as if you are entitled to one.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    No.  You are not entitled to gifts, so saying anything at all will make you look greedy and come off as though you invited guests solely for the purpose of receiving gifts from them.
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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    misshart00 said:

    No, there is no tactful way to do this. A gift is never required. And think about his much your wedding party spent to be there.

    I 100% agree with this. No one EVER owes you a present. And your wedding party probably gave up hundreds of dollars and hours of their time to make you happy on your wedding day. Their time, effort, and friendship seriously isn't enough for you?
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  • Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    You say nothing. It would be so rude to say anything, especially since gifts are in no way required of ANYONE. It is common to bring gifts, yes, but not required, and definitely not tit for tat because you spent money on their food and drinks. Plus WP members already are giving up a lot of time and money just to be in your wedding. That should be gift enough.


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  • nelliecakenelliecake member
    First Comment
    I second everyone else's response. Gifts are not mandatory, nor should they be expected. Otherwise, they wouldn't be a 'gift'. You also have to keep in mind that the whole concept of the wedding gift is from a bygone era when people got married at 18 before they had money to actually buy any of the things they needed to start a home. It's 2013 now. I was 32 when I first got married, and I thought I was old enough and established enough in my career that it would be tacky to ask other people to buy me things that I should be able to buy myself. So I didn't register and I actually requested "no gifts" on the wedding invitation. A wedding should be about marrying the person you love most in the world; not about stocking up on some new kitchen gadgets. 
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  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I really hope you are just playing a joke with this post.   Gifts are never mandatory.  You ask your bridal party to stand up with you because they are your nearest and dearest, not because you are hoping they'll give you a gift.

    If you and your husband are going to hold a grudge because a guest didn't give you a gift,  you are made for each other and can spend the rest of your life being jerks together.

     

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    http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/

    http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html

    http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/

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  • misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    This can't be real. People aren't selfish assholes like this, are they?!
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  • Sierra524Sierra524 member
    500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
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  • Anastasia517Anastasia517 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    You don't say anything and you don't hold a grudge.  These people probably spent more time and money on your wedding than everybody else (rehearsal, buying clothes YOU picked out, possibly a shower or two, bachelor/bachelorette, etc).  All you would accomplish would be pissing off your nearest & dearest.
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  • mikencindymikencindy member
    10 Comments First Answer 5 Love Its
    Etiquette states that guests have up to 1 year to send you a gift. keep this in mind. If you still do not receive one. you can Always send a thank you note with a photo of you from your wedding thanking them for attending. This may jog them to send something.
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  • nannersbannersnannersbanners member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited September 2013

    mikencindy I'm 31 & have never heard of this etiquette... I really don't many people do. As she sits and waits in agony for a year!

    I do not believe any gift needs to be monetary. BM's gifts are showered with love and togetherness on your wedding day. What's sad is you're married and a $100 gift is one of the main memories you will take away from this special day.

    I thought I had issues....

    This is an old post, newbie here!

    W

     

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