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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Gift/Guestbook/ Program Combo "Table"

Okay ladies, I need your wonderful expertise and opinions.  My FI and I set our date and our venue this week (YAY!) and the set up of the venue (a historic home in CA) has the ceremony where you would consider a backyard to be, and then the reception moves back toward the front where guests initially walk it.  On the walk way to the ceremony side there is an (outdoor) built in stone bar which is beautiful and in my opinion the perfect place to have the guestbook. The space is large enough to have a card box (something understated) and still room for any boxed gifts that are brought (very common in our families). I've done some lurking on different discussions to see what would be ideal as far as having someone at this "table" but I'm on the fence.  Since it is between the two sites and it can't be seen clearly from either, I would prefer to have someone there to keep an eye on things until our DOC moves the gifts to my parents car.  I also would prefer this because it is outdoors and it wouldn't be too difficult for someone to walk up uninvited. My idea was to ask a friend to be there until the ceremony starts, and then let her enjoy the ceremony and reception worry free. Am I totally off-base? 
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Re: Gift/Guestbook/ Program Combo "Table"

  • I don't think you are off base, it was concern for me too. Cards, in particular, can walk off. I would ask if someone was willing and then buy them a thank gift - like you would for the kid/person who hands out the programs. Maybe get them a corsage or something to show they are appreciated since they have a "job" or task they are doing. It shouldn't be a very long task either 15 mins or so.

    GL!
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • I don't think you are off base, it was concern for me too. Cards, in particular, can walk off. I would ask if someone was willing and then buy them a thank gift - like you would for the kid/person who hands out the programs. Maybe get them a corsage or something to show they are appreciated since they have a "job" or task they are doing. It shouldn't be a very long task either 15 mins or so.

    GL!

    No, no, no and no.

    This is what you're paying your DOC to do.

    No guest should ever be tasked with watching a guest book or gift table.

  • edited September 2013
    itzMS said:
    I don't think you are off base, it was concern for me too. Cards, in particular, can walk off. I would ask if someone was willing and then buy them a thank gift - like you would for the kid/person who hands out the programs. Maybe get them a corsage or something to show they are appreciated since they have a "job" or task they are doing. It shouldn't be a very long task either 15 mins or so.

    GL!

    No, no, no and no.

    This is what you're paying your DOC to do.

    No guest should ever be tasked with watching a guest book or gift table.

    Her post makes it sound like the DOC is not able/ willing to do it. If that is the case than she needs another option. Did you have one? 
    I would not be offended to do this for a friend - perhaps you can bring up the problem in conversation with friends or family members and one of them will graciously offer to watch the table for you. And then you didn't ask someone to work at your wedding. I know I would if you shared your dilemma with me.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • Here's another thought, if it is only before the ceremony that you are worried about, have a groomsman stand there instead of ushering guests.
    However at my wedding some folks waited until after the ceremony to drop off gifts and didn't know where to put them bc the table had been cleared.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • The DOC needs to figure this out, it shouldn't be the responsibility of the bride's guests to watch the table.

    Most good DOCs will bring an assistant if there are multiple tasks to attend to.

  • Thank you for the input ladies, I truly appreciate it!
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  • itzMS said:
    I don't think you are off base, it was concern for me too. Cards, in particular, can walk off. I would ask if someone was willing and then buy them a thank gift - like you would for the kid/person who hands out the programs. Maybe get them a corsage or something to show they are appreciated since they have a "job" or task they are doing. It shouldn't be a very long task either 15 mins or so.

    GL!

    No, no, no and no.

    This is what you're paying your DOC to do.

    No guest should ever be tasked with watching a guest book or gift table.

    Her post makes it sound like the DOC is not able/ willing to do it. If that is the case than she needs another option. Did you have one? I have one - it's her wedding. If her DOC is unwilling to do it, then she/the groom are responsible for doing it or hiring someone else to do it. Personally, I would ask the DOC to figure it out. If that means she brings an assistant or intern to do it, so be it. She's the DOC! It's her job to figure stuff like this out. Otherwise, the bride needs a new DOC.
    I would not be offended to do this for a friend - perhaps you can bring up the problem in conversation with friends or family members and one of them will graciously offer to watch the table for you. And then you didn't ask someone to work at your wedding. I know I would if you shared your dilemma with me. 

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  • I would just put the gift/card table inside.  It is fine to leave the guest book unattended but if the DOC can't/won't do it then the gift table needs to be moved inside to a more secure location.
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  • AprilH81 said:
    I would just put the gift/card table inside.  It is fine to leave the guest book unattended but if the DOC can't/won't do it then the gift table needs to be moved inside to a more secure location.
    That would be a great idea but no one will be entering the house until the cocktail hour and I don't want people to have to hold on to any cards/boxes during the ceremony. Thank you though!

    I'm going to talk to my DOC about having one of her interns handle the situation. Thanks ladies!
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  • Just have your guests hold onto gifts and cards until after the ceremony; then have them put these things on a table at the reception which can be put in a secure location.
  • I've never seen anyone drop off cards/gifts before the ceremony. Ever. I actually would think it was weird to have the gift table out at the ceremony, like a gift is the entrance fee. 
  • I've never seen anyone drop off cards/gifts before the ceremony. Ever. I actually would think it was weird to have the gift table out at the ceremony, like a gift is the entrance fee. 
    It may just be related to our region or community or church then, because it something I have seen at every wedding I've attended growing up :) 
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  • Rebl90 said:
    I've never seen anyone drop off cards/gifts before the ceremony. Ever. I actually would think it was weird to have the gift table out at the ceremony, like a gift is the entrance fee. 
    It may just be related to our region or community or church then, because it something I have seen at every wedding I've attended growing up :) 
    Sorry, I think that is so odd. 
  • edited September 2013


    Rebl90 said:



    I've never seen anyone drop off cards/gifts before the ceremony. Ever. I actually would think it was weird to have the gift table out at the ceremony, like a gift is the entrance fee. 

    It may just be related to our region or community or church then, because it something I have seen at every wedding I've attended growing up :) 

    Sorry, I think that is so odd. 


    I don't think it's odd, but I think it has to do more with whether or not the ceremony and the reception are in the same location. when they're in the same location I think it's common the people bring the gift in because they won't be going back to their car to drive to another location.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • Honestly, as a guest, I wouldn't want to be responsible for all of your gifts and possibly money. What if something does come up missing? If I was supposed to be watching the table I would feel responsible for that and I would feel awful about it. 
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  • Yeah, must be a regional thing.  In my region of the country, gifts are delivered to the bride's parents' house and then the bride and groom go over there and open the gifts like once a week the month prior to the wedding, and then the gifts are displayed there.  Or if the bride and groom already live together, the gifts are displayed in their home the month prior to the wedding.  No one brings a gift or card to the ceremony or reception.  That would be considered truly tacky and pretentioius, to demand that - on the very day of the wedding -  the bride and bride's parents must cater to a selfish guest and find a way to take the gift out to another guest's car - but whose car because the WP came via limo, etc.
  • Yeah, must be a regional thing.  In my region of the country, gifts are delivered to the bride's parents' house and then the bride and groom go over there and open the gifts like once a week the month prior to the wedding, and then the gifts are displayed there.  Or if the bride and groom already live together, the gifts are displayed in their home the month prior to the wedding.  No one brings a gift or card to the ceremony or reception.  That would be considered truly tacky and pretentioius, to demand that - on the very day of the wedding -  the bride and bride's parents must cater to a selfish guest and find a way to take the gift out to another guest's car - but whose car because the WP came via limo, etc.
    I think that sounds really fantastic, I always have wondered why certain groups of people do this all so differently, and don't want my guests to feel like a gift is necessary. Which is why we are avoiding showers.  I was just curious how to handle this situation and I love having these boards (and you ladies) as an Etiquette resource! The last thing I want on that day is offending my guests!
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  • I think traditionally you're not supposed to bring boxed gifts to the wedding, you're supposed to send it to the parent's house. But not everyone does that and at weddings where people give cash, I've never known of anyone to send it in advance. 

    It's not that hard to find a car to put the gifts in.
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