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Wedding Party

my best friend's mom flipped out on me... Help!

My best friend and brother are getting engaged next week. My friend is always saying how she and her family don't have money for engagement/bridal/wedding things. She wanted an engagement party badly. So I started planning a surprise party for her and my brother. I rented a hall and it was going to cost about 4 thousand. Im a teacher so that's a lot for me. I was happy to do it. I told her Mom that this engagement party was something my family wanted to do to help out. Later on I asked her Aunt to put together a guest list for the invitations. The next day my friend's Mom called me  and flipped out saying "This is MY daughter... What the hell are you dong... You should have asked me first... I need to be included in everything...: so on and so on. I was hysterical crying. I really tried to do something out f the kindness of my heart and I get shot down and it hurts so bad. I don't even want to do it anymore. It feels tainted. I told her Mother that I shuldn't have over stepped my bounds, the couple isn't engaged yet, so let's not get ahead of ourselves, and lets put it on hold for now and talk about it again in a couple of months. (But I'll make sure I say I have no money in a couple of months). Am I rght or wrong? She wants to meet up and talk about this again this weekend! HELP!!!!

Re: my best friend's mom flipped out on me... Help!

  • While I don't think it's right that she flipped out on you the way she did, I do feel for her.  I am not sure why you went to her aunt for help.  Just because her mother/family have been stating they don't have money for a lot of wedding related things, doesn't mean that you should essentially gone behind her back and planned something without her.  In hindsight, her mother was probably so hurt, that she reacted in the worst way possible.

    I also would have definitely waited until the engagement was a certainty and official too.  Maybe, when the mother meets up with you, she'll be able to discuss what she could have done, and is still willing to do, had you included her.  

    I'm sure it will be fine, but try to see her point.  Also, what do you mean by "But I'll make sure I say I have no money in a couple of months," are you implying that because the mother "ruined" the fun, you aren't going to do it now?  
  • @chachachelsea, did you see the posting date? I guarantee that @smapes is probably not around anymore and/or has solved the issue.
  • OH, ahahaha!  What an idiot, I am!  I have NEVER replied on her before.  Jeeze, attack of the zombie post for sure.  Whoops.  Here I thought I was being SO HELPFUL!

    ...duuuuh.
  • OH, ahahaha!  What an idiot, I am!  I have NEVER replied on her before.  Jeeze, attack of the zombie post for sure.  Whoops.  Here I thought I was being SO HELPFUL!

    ...duuuuh.
    Well jump on in! There's plenty of current things to talk about. :)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Will do!  Thanks for being so nice about my mistake!  Some people can be butts about that kind of stuff.
  • I was totally ready to reply, too.

    I was wanting to know why she started planning an engagement party for a couple that isn't engaged.

    Now I'll never know. :(
    image
  • She didn't need to yell.

     
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