May 2014 Weddings

Finally figured out how to politely say no children......

I know according to some this topic has been beaten to death but to those of us who are newly engaged, it is a new topic so.......

After many weeks of stomach turning contemplation over how to present the "no children" option at our wedding-mostly because of seating/budget concerns, partially because of ceremony disruption concerns- I have finally come up with some wording I am happy with. Since I never came across anything I felt good about on any of the boards, I thought I would share my verbage in case someone else is still struggling. I will post the following on my wedding website and direct everyone to my site for directions to the venue via my invitation. I also plan to add "cocktail reception to follow" on both my STDs and my invitations.

Hope this helps aleviate some stress for others.

In an effort to include and accommodate all of our family and friends within our seating capacity, we have opted to celebrate this day with adults only.


Soon to Be Mrs JayKristen625

Re: Finally figured out how to politely say no children......

  • We're having a VERY small, adults-only ceremony and reception, but not explicitly saying so on our stationary. We made it clear to everyone from the very beginning that it is a very small venue with a limited seating capacity (max is 56, and we're inviting about 35), and we're not having our ceremony until 5:30pm, with dinner reception to follow, which is too late for most kids. Finally, our venue for both is a winery, which obviously screams, 'adult!' Besides, the general rule is that if you don't put "and family" on the invite, kids shouldn't be toted along. When in doubt, let word of mouth spread your intent for a grown-up affair.

  • I love this wording.   Very classy.  Good work! :)
  • Thank you, thank you. I have been struggling to find a nice way to say this on my invitations. Thanks for sharing!
  • I love the wording. It is polite but gets the point across.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Great wording! My fiancé and I have been struggling with the same situation. Thanks for sharing! We will most likely use your wording as inspiration for our invites!
  • Tho127Tho127 member
    10 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited September 2013
    @pumpkinsandturkeys, I know proper wording should be enough as it is proper etiquette but I am not willing to take the chance on those parents who don't know or "choose not to know" etiquette or simply try to overlook it altogether. I will be spreading the word that it is due to seating issues via word of mouth just to soften the blow a little. Guests will be directed to my website for directions and RSVP via invitations and save the dates so no one should miss it.
    I guess I'm just not willing to take the chance that someone "didn't hear that" and shows up with their brood and upsets others who found sitters for the evening.
  • That's totally fair! :) There are definitely always those people who don't know proper etiquette, or choose to ignore it, and if you have a lot of guests with little ones and feel the need to take a firm, clear stance from the beginning, there's nothing wrong with that.

  • This is really really nice language, thank you for sharing!! I have definitely been struggling with how to make it clear and polite and this totally covers it.
  • Well done, I too have been struggling to find the words.  I will pass this along to FI, but in all honesty, there is only one family I'm very concerned about ignoring the proper etiquette, and they have the WORST child ever. (They really are to blame for the kid's behavior) Anyways I have told them in person about no children, and then once the invites go out, FI sees the husband on a fairly regular basis, so I'll just have him reiterate in a nice way about the no child policy, so its looking like I may forgo saying it all together. 
    Also, OP, on our response cards I have it saying "We have reserved (number) of seats in you honor" and then having them enter in accepts or declines.  That being said, I may put the no kid info on our website just to make sure! :)
  • So far, I have not had anyone upset or hurt feelings. Had one who was so excited and, even though the invite was clearly addressed to only her and her hubs, was going to rsvp for 4. I politely told her that I had no idea her girls would want to come that I only had her and her husband down; that we were playing a very tight numbers game. She completely understood and easily retreated. I am just going to continue with that line of defense as needed.
  • Nice way to put it! Im the odd one out, well be having lots of kids. We love kids and for us weddings arent only for the adults in the families. whether big or small were all coming together and joining families. 
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