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Wedding Woes

WDWWT: WR ?

say you have this "friend" - your sorority "big sis."

she's the type of "friend" that is only "friendly" with you when it's convenient with her / when she needs something from you. 

you talk to her maybe 3-4 times/year via FB status comments, and might get together if someone is in town for business (but it's not a high priority on her end)

she's getting married (her second wedding) - you weren't invited to the first wedding, weren't notified when she got pregnant/had her baby (she didn't acknowledge your wedding or child) - she told you about the divorce (because she wanted you to validate her choices, and brag about her new man) - but not the new engagement or anything related to the upcoming wedding. 

she asks for your address (presumably to invite you to her wedding) - you know you're not willing to travel for the wedding, and are basically viewing the invite as a gift grab. 

what is a "reasonable" gift to send in this situation? you don't want to be an asshole, but you feel like this person is basically a casual acquaintance, at best. 


Re: WDWWT: WR ?

  • Lower end $ GC to place where they're registered.
  • I high five to the face.  And $5 to the "when is the 3rd marriage?" pool.
  • But I'm also a big talker...so more likely I'm with Varuna
  • I'd probably send nothing :)
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • I have several versions of responses to your question/dilemma, so take your pick.

    a) Minimal or nothing...whatever you have the balls to get away with.  Sending nothing shows a clear sign that the invite was a "joke"/gift grabbing stunt. 

    b) A card only.  It would send a clear message that it's messed up that she bothered to invite you, as she doesn't obviously care about your life, but you're a nice person so you will at least acknowledge it with a card. 

    c) You could just not RSVP at all and tell her you never received an invite...things can get lost in the mail...if she asks you about your RSVP on FB.  At that point you could say you have something else planned since you didn't know you were invited.  Then you send nothing.  This would be the passive/aggressive route. 

  • I'm with Varuna.
  • A congratulations card. 
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