Military Brides

Dealing with a Base Wedding Coordinator?

I'm getting married on Dover Air Force Base in 19 days. In order to get married in the chapel we have to use a base wedding coordinator. They only have two coordinators and they are both spouses of retirees who are in their 70's. We picked a British woman who is nice but there is a HUGE amount of pressure to hire people that the coordinators use on a regular basis. The people they recommended that we talked to flat our refused to honor our requests.

Our theme is Roy and Megan's Big Jewish-Redneck Wedding. My fiance is Jewish but was born and raised in Rural Kentucky and is VERY country. I had an Orthodox Jewish style wedding gown made (it actually looks quite Victorian) with a chapel length veil made of Chantilly Lace so my face is mostly obscured. In Orthodox Jewish weddings, the bride's face is fully obscured by the veil. My fiance is wearing a dark blue suit he had custom made in Turkey, cowboy boots and a white cowboy hat. We are being married by an Air Force chaplain who is Church of God. We are walking down the aisle to "You Are The Love of My Life by Sammy Kershaw. Country music is playing a big part in our ceremony. We are also incorporating many Jewish traditions into the ceremony.

Our coordinator had an issue with the music. When I told her that we would be using pre-recorded music she said that she knew "a perfectly lovely organist who could play you (my fiance and I) country music on the organ". When I told her that we LOVE the twang of country and the vocals of certain artists she seemed VERY disappointed that we weren't going to hire a musician.

I'm so sick of our coordinator not seeing our vision for the wedding. Yes, it is unorthodox but we are unorthodox people. I am a female truck driver who subs as a school bus driver and is a volunteer firefighter. I also have that nerdy look to me that doesn't fit the image of a truck driver or volunteer firefighter. I don't do things the "proper" way. My fiance is a Tech Sergeant in the Air Force and is a Jewish Redneck.

It would help if the base had younger coordinators who understand that weddings are much more personalized now than they were years ago. Not everyone wants the same cookie cutter wedding anymore. I'm getting VERY frustrated and the wedding is 18 days out. Any tips?

Re: Dealing with a Base Wedding Coordinator?

  • Have you asked if she is a volunteer?  Often, these jobs are filled by older people because they are volunteer positions.  
    Also, you may want to find out if there is a policy against secular music that isn't purely instrumental.  That could possibly be why she suggested an organist instead of your pre-recorded song.    
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  • There isn't. I already checked with the chaplain.
  • Can't you just, you know, ignore her? 

    When you can't just ignore her, just say "What a nice idea, but we've got our hearts set on ______. But I did want to ask you about when we can access the venue. Can you tell me about that?"
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