October 2013 Weddings

WWYD - "And Guest" Question

I take back the autopilot piece - planning is on autopilot - dealing with dumb sh** drama is not.

This is kind of a two part question - one part general - one part more specific. 

I gave all of my single guests the option to bring a guest to my wedding.  Some have responded with names for those guests - others have just replied with "2" Sally Doe and Guest. Do you think it is rude to follow-up with those who did not provide a name a few days before the date I have to send a final number to my venue and request the name of the individual they are bringing? The date I need to provide a final count is a week before our wedding. If it is - I won't do it - but I thought I'd ask.

Second more specific to my circumstances - one of my single friends, D, did not like my FI based on an issue that took place five years ago between FI and an old high school acquaintance of D and I - we will call him G. 

This issue came up during this whole planning process - D & I discussed it. I believe things are cleared up. Fast forward a few months to today - when I get a text message from her saying that she is planning to send her RSVP in and she was wondering if she had to put a name or if she could just put "and Guest."  I replied by saying "and guest" is fine (that is what prompted my first question). She replied back with a response that suggested he is better off nameless anyway. The very first thing that popped in my head - was the worry that she would bring G.  I believe that it is an irrational fear - but if it is rude to ask those who replied with "and guest" a name for their intended guest - is it inappropriate for me to ask her not to bring G based on the history?
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Re: WWYD - "And Guest" Question

  • schellzinatorschellzinator member
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    edited September 2013
    Thanks @alisonmarie658 - I kind of figured that was the answer and there has been physical threats before so I believe that I can mention something to her.
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  • That's a great suggestion. As I mentioned in my original post - I really think it is an irrational fear - but I just figured I'd get some other people's opinions who can look at it from a different perspective.
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  • @schellzinator - we didn't contact people for their guests name if they didn't put one. We just listed the seating cards as "John Doe" and  "John Doe, Guest". So when we place them on the table for guests to pick up and find their seat, the guest will be right behind the person invited.


  • I agree with Alison. Good luck! 
  • Yeh - that's a tough situation.

    I did not ask the names of those who responded with "and guest." Although, I find it really weird. 2 people did it - one was a groomsman who is bringing "a girl he is seeing" but apparently, she doesn't have a name. (FI wanted all of his single groomsmen to have the option of bringing a guest, and no one else did it.) The other is a friend that was invited with a long term boyfriend and they recently broke up. She now wants to bring someone else. I don't have the heart to fight her on this and tell her that no one else who is truly "single" is bringing a random guest - it's just not worth it.  

    But, if you do fear that your friend D will bring G, you can text her back saying that you are working on the name tags and hate the way "and Guest" looks and that you need to know his name. Then, you will find out if it is indeed G or not. If not, no worry. If it is, then you can use the wording by @allisonmarie658 suggesting not to bring him.

    Good luck!
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