Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
New Discussion

International and Intercultural

efayyadefayyad
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
Someone please tell me they've at least HEARD of a similar situation, because I need some support!

My fiance and I met in Syria, where he's from and where his entire family is. We're getting married here in the states as soon as he gets a visa to come here. He and I are both Muslim, but my family is Catholic. My family doesn't have a problem with it, but I don't want to push them too far with a very traditional Syrian Muslim ceremony.

If we were in Syria, we would have a small, family only wedding ceremony with an Imam (Muslim religious leader), then a big party blowout for everyoneeee in the neighborhood. I don't think my parents will be comfortable sitting with me, my FH and the Imam. And I also don't know if its appropriate to have an Imam stand in the typical officiator's position that you would have in most traditional American wedding ceremonies.How do I find a balance?

Another issue, my FH will not have any of his family here. And he doesn't know any of my friends or family yet, other than a few Skype dates with my mom and dad. I really want him to feel surrounded by support and love since he's going to be in a brand new country with brand new people, on the most important day of his life.

Ahhhh I guess I just need some good vibes. Its nearly impossible to plan a wedding when I can't even narrow the date down to a season (everything is in the hands of the Citizenship and Immigrations officers....they won't even give me a rough estimate on when I can expect a visa for my FH. ugggghh).

Anyone vaguely understand/emphathize with what I'm going through? Any advice? 
Report Reply to Post

Re: International and Intercultural

  • midgetthemightymidgetthemighty
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    Look under Cultural Wedding Boards and I would suggest asking the Catholic, Interfaith, and Muslim boards. Good luck, :)
    Report Reply
  • hlmauneyhlmauney
    First Comment

    Good luck with immigration!!! Once you're able to set a date and start planning, you'll feel better about everything. One suggestion I have is to streamline the entire ceremony live via the internet. That way his family can witness and feel included. I know it's not the same but in the circumstances, it could work. Also, why not have an engagement party of some sort while you're in Syria? you could celebrate with his family and friends before doing it all again in America. Good luck!

    Report Reply
  • CaitlynAshleyCaitlynAshley member
    First Comment
    My fiancé is from Trinidad and I am Italian American. To combine the two cultures, we are having two separate ceremonies and one reception. Since my family will have no idea what they need to do for the hindu ceremony (brides parents play a big role!), we are going to meet with the pundit (priest) and my parents to chat about the traditions and their roles. We are going to ask the pundit if he has any pamphlets or sheets that will give more detail about what's going on during the hindu ceremony and the traditions involved - that way my family won't be confused. We will also be having something similar for the catholic ceremony).

    We are going to do a sort version of each ceremony that incorporated just the most important traditions. Talk to the imam and see if there is a version of the ceremony he might reccomend for an intercultural or interfaith wedding. He may have some suggestions!

    Also, really recommend discussing it with your parents. You may be surprised by their response. My parents are actually quite excited about being a part of the hindu ceremony. My mom and my brother even asked if they could wear traditional Indian outfits!

    You can also do a big party in Syria with his family just as the above post suggested. For our honeymoon, we are going to a resort on Tobago, but before we head back to the states, we will be stopping off in Trinidad to visit/party with all the family that couldn't make it to the wedding!

    Have fun with your unique situation. It is an excuse to continue the party on and on! I'm sure you will feel better once immigration comes through- I know how stressful that can be. In the meantime, plan and fantasize about the little details and let go of the larger details (like venue) until you can set a date!

    Good luck!
    Report Reply
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    This thread is over 2 years old.  I would hope that the OP's visa issues were resolved and her FH is now her H somewhere in the states.

    What I would like to say about your post is that if you are having a Catholic ceremony, if you have not already done so, please speak with your priest.  I wouldn't want you to be out of good standing from the church because you decided to have a non-Catholic ceremony first.  What you planned sounds lovely, especially incorporating both cultures, but make sure everything will be ok with the church.  As it stands now, it seems like you will be married legally during the Hindu ceremony and then have a convalidation ceremony in the Catholic Church.  This is different than a standard marriage ceremony and often times needs to be approved by the Bishop of your Diocese.

    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] admin
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    @schatzi13 Thank you :)

    I am still waiting to see if that option is possible.

    P.S. @CaitlinAshley thank you for putting so much effort into your response.

    I will close this thread in the meantime.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards