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October 2013 Weddings

Anyone else's fiance trying to get her to get a pre-nup with less than TWO WEEKS to go?

I don't object to the idea. I strongly object to the timing (can't a pre-nup be declared invalid anyway if either party--in this case me--feels rushed or forced?), the money and the time involved (now he says we should each consult lawyers, knowing full well I don't have money for a lawyer and it's difficult enough for me to take off work to get the marriage license and other stuff we need to do). I already told him the ONE thing I want out of the pre-nup. I keep asking him why he's insisting on this at the last minute and he hasn't given me a good answer. He claimed at one pount that it was to protect some assets from his ex-wife but how could that be when they've been divorced for years and there's nothing in his will for her? Is he stupid or am I? Maybe he's just being clueless and inconsiderate but I am getting really ticked off and a little suspicious. Neither one of us has many assets or money, although he owns his house free and clear (thanks to his parents selling him their house for a lump sum when he was young, he has NO CLUE what I go through or most people go through with a down payment + 15-30 years of mortgage payments). By the way he wants the first appointment with the lawyer to be just over one week before our wedding.

Re: Anyone else's fiance trying to get her to get a pre-nup with less than TWO WEEKS to go?

  • That is a little suspicious. If he's been divorced for a while and changed his will, his ex cant get anything. Does he have kids? If he does, Im sure his attorney that drafted the will set up a Trust for when his kids reach a certain age so the ex cannot get access to the money.

    Maybe he's getting cold feet? If there aren't any major assets, there isn't a reason for one. I'd have a serious heart to heart with him and get the full reasoning out of him. Could he be hiding money?

     

  • I see this a bit differently. You say he owns his house free and clear - he might want to make sure that in the case that anything happens, it stays that way. Now, I don't know the laws of your state and I'm not an attorney (but have very close family members who are)  - if your name is not on the house, this won't be an issue anyway...it will always just be his.

    And, he is very correct - you do need an attorney. It would actually be very dumb of you NOT to get your own attorney.

    I don't see it as suspicious, but I think his timing is bad. If there are no assets (except the house) then he has every right to protect that house and really then, what are you objecting to? (What is the "one thing" you'd want out of the prenup? Anything joint that comes into your lives in the future will be split, so this is just protecting what you currently own. Things like family vacation houses where other relatives' names are on the deeds (that one member of the couple could ultimately inherit) and a set amount of money in a joint account are more likely to be mentioned.)

    Even if you or he had monetary accounts in your own names and not joint, they would each be your own if the union were to split. Maybe his parents want to help him protect the house?

    This wouldn't bother me, but I grew up around this sort of thing.
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  • I agree with PP about his timing but I wouldn't be surprised if someone was whispering in his ear to do this now. If is has less than 5 million dollars worth of assets I don't see the point. What's his is yours and vice versa. I'd get to the root of why he is asking. If it is really just the house then to me that isn't a good enough reason. Sorry since that probably didn't help.

     

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  • Really, $5 million is your cut off point? That makes no sense. So if one marries a man with $4.5 million before the marriage, and they break up, the wife deserves $2.25M of that, even though none of it was acquired during the time of the marriage? Yikes. Hope the men out there are aware of this.

    OP - I don't think a prenup means you will break up. However - if the house is his, and you do break up, the house should remain his. If you did not put in the down payment (and it was money from his parents) then, it should remain in his family.

    If I were marrying into that situation, I would have NO problem whatsoever agreeing to that.  Even if the house is worth $100,000 - it does not mean that his paid off house should then be split down the middle to $50,000 cause he got married and it didn't work out. 

    And, I'll throw out there that we do have assets but don't have a prenup. But, I can see why some do.
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  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Nope, because I'm the one with assets and I've elected to not have a pre-nup.

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