Semi non-traditional Bride doesn't want bridal party, groom does. HELP!

Re: Semi non-traditional Bride doesn't want bridal party, groom does. HELP!

• JoanE2012 member

  

  October 2013 edited October 2013

  jessieperlka said:

  Help! I am struggling with the wedding party. I am not super traditional and would be fine with no bridal party, but my fiance is more traditional and wants one. Does anyone have any non-traditional ideas honoring and including people in the ceremony and day without having a traditional wedding party? Also, this is a Jewish wedding, so we can honor a few people with the ketubah and holding the chuppah, but that's not enough.
  
  The main reasons I don't want a wedding party is that each of us has about 11-13 people we would need to include without insulting anyone. We are also in our mid-30s and it feels weird to me to have a royal size wedding party. I am also not interested in having people buy matching dresses, having lived through 5 weddings as a bridesmaid myself and with 5 dreses that cost over $300 each and I will never wear again. Also, not all of my friends would be into wearing the matching dresses.
  
  What do I do? My fiance has agreed to limited the number to 6 each, but I can't do that without really insulting my best friends, siblings and 4 very close family friends who all had me in their wedding parties.
  

  You don't need to have even sides.  Let him have his groomsmen.  You don't have to have any bridesmaids.  Both of you are happy.  Problem solved.

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• bakerie member

  

  October 2013 edited October 2013

  He picks his side, you pick yours. If he picks 5 and you pick 0, that's fine. ETA: Wedding parties are not tit-for-tat. Just because someone had you in theirs, does not mean you have to have them in yours.

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• Blue_Bird member

  

  October 2013

  Ditto PPs. Also, bridesmaids aren't required to have matching dresses. Mine didn't.

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• doeydo member

  

  October 2013 edited October 2013

  jessieperlka said:

  Help! I am struggling with the wedding party. I am not super traditional and would be fine with no bridal party, but my fiance is more traditional and wants one. Does anyone have any non-traditional ideas honoring and including people in the ceremony and day without having a traditional wedding party? Also, this is a Jewish wedding, so we can honor a few people with the ketubah and holding the chuppah, but that's not enough.  You could have four hold the chuppah, have someone officiate (I am not Jewish but I have heard that one does not have to be a Rabbi to marry people), two witnesses, wedding parties, and/or giving these honoured guests boutonnieres and corsages. 
  
  The main reasons I don't want a wedding party is that each of us has about 11-13 people we would need to include without insulting anyone. That's not how you pick a bridal party and you don't have to worry about "hurting feelings" as no one should expect to be in it.  Pick your nearest and dearest.  We are also in our mid-30s and it feels weird to me to have a royal size wedding party. I am also not interested in having people buy matching dresses, having lived through 5 weddings as a bridesmaid myself and with 5 dreses that cost over $300 each and I will never wear again. Also, not all of my friends would be into wearing the matching dresses.  You don't have to have matching dresses.  you could tell them to wear a black dress (or whatever colour) or you could tell them to wear whatever they want.
  
  What do I do? My fiance has agreed to limited the number to 6 each, but I can't do that without really insulting my best friends, siblings and 4 very close family friends who all had me in their wedding parties.  Again, these people shouldn't expect to be in your bridal party.  You could have none, one, or ten plus if you wanted to.
  

  ETA don't worry about even sides.  Also, you could have men on your side and he can have women on his side of the wedding party.

  
  

  
  

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