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October 2013 Weddings

Wedding planning vent!

Hi fellow October brides! Is anyone else as frustrated with the wedding planning process as I am? My FH's father has offered to graciously host our rehearsal dinner! Now my FH's mom (ex of the father) wants to invite her friends that we did not want to invite as we are just doing wedding family and wedding party. She thinks we need to include out of town guests, I do not. We are having the rehearsal two days before the wedding to cut down on the amount of out of town guests. In addition to that we are going to invite any out of town guests to join us for dancing at 8 as a band starts at that time. So then she says well I will just tell them to have dinner at the same place in another part of the restaurant, yeah cause that won't be weird! 

Then my mom wants to add a bunch of people to our guest list as we did not have as many Yes's as we thought we would. I explained to her that this was called "B listing" and we would not be doing that. So yesterday she posts on FB my wedding website link!! "OMG mom, what are you thinking?!", was my response. And she deleted it. So then I create a private message to include wedding guests with our link which I didn't ever want through FB but damage is done now. A bunch of people left the conversation and now I feel like an idiot for even throwing it out there. Stressing out here!!

The good news is that had a beautiful bridal shower two weeks ago and my sister/MOH is throwing me a bachelorette party in San Diego this weekend, so I have that to look forward to!

 

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Re: Wedding planning vent!

  • I think it's normal to have some stress (we're all feeling it) but there are some aspects that you might be over-thinking.

    If your rehearsal dinner is large enough to warrant a band playing at 8 pm, then yes, it would be nice to extend the offer to your out of town guests who may be in the area.  If it was just strictly a rehearsal with a quick dinner to follow, there would be no need.  

    As for whether or not your site gets shared on fb- I agree that isn't the place for it, but it really doesn't matter. People leave fb group messages all the time and you shouldn't take it personally.

    Take deep breaths - you have about 3 weeks to go. It will all be figured out by then.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    image 293 (Adults) Invited
    image198 Yes (+ 12 children and 3 babies)
    image95 No
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    vainemerald
  • Hi fellow October brides! Is anyone else as frustrated with the wedding planning process as I am? My FH's father has offered to graciously host our rehearsal dinner! Now my FH's mom (ex of the father) wants to invite her friends that we did not want to invite as we are just doing wedding family and wedding party. She thinks we need to include out of town guests, I do not. We are having the rehearsal two days before the wedding to cut down on the amount of out of town guests. In addition to that we are going to invite any out of town guests to join us for dancing at 8 as a band starts at that time. So then she says well I will just tell them to have dinner at the same place in another part of the restaurant, yeah cause that won't be weird! 

    Then my mom wants to add a bunch of people to our guest list as we did not have as many Yes's as we thought we would. I explained to her that this was called "B listing" and we would not be doing that. So yesterday she posts on FB my wedding website link!! "OMG mom, what are you thinking?!", was my response. And she deleted it. So then I create a private message to include wedding guests with our link which I didn't ever want through FB but damage is done now. A bunch of people left the conversation and now I feel like an idiot for even throwing it out there. Stressing out here!!

    The good news is that had a beautiful bridal shower two weeks ago and my sister/MOH is throwing me a bachelorette party in San Diego this weekend, so I have that to look forward to!

    Wait, wait, wait -- so you're making your WP get TWO nights worth of hotel rooms for your wedding, JUST so you can cut down on OOT guests at the RD?

    Ditto @snippet17; if you can afford a BAND, you can afford to host the OOT guests.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    Secsea1vainemerald
  • Gusta333Gusta333 member
    First Comment
    edited October 2013
  • No we aren't paying for a band the restaurant has a house band. So it's free entertainment. Yes we are doing it two days before and asking our wedding party to attend most of which are local. One has said they can't come and that is okay. We wanted the dinner to be for our two families who will be getting to know one another for the first time. We then wanted to extend to our out of town guests an invite to dance after dinner. There is a huge street fair downtown on Thursdays that could be fun for visitors to attend as well. I was hoping that would be good enough for the few that will be here two days early. It doesn't seem like there will be a lot in town at that time. We have a limited amount of space on the patio where our dinner will be served. I just didn't want this to turn into a pre-wedding wedding if that makes sense.

     

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  • I think that is just what happens when there are many events planned around a wedding. It really isn't fair to have guests travel and then not be included if there is an event planned. Pizza at your in laws' house for a rehearsal dinner? Don't need to invite them. Even if you aren't paying for the band, it is still a formal party and I personally feel they should be included. You might not agree, but if I was traveling to a wedding and I knew there was an event but was not included, it would irk me. Once they come into your local area, you do have to deal with them. Just my opinion.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    image 293 (Adults) Invited
    image198 Yes (+ 12 children and 3 babies)
    image95 No
    image0 Unknown

  • SewInLoveWithDMB! How do we find out who will be here two days ahead of time? I appreciate your advice. Probably like a lot of brides this is my first wedding. I have never been in a wedding and all of this is new to me. I definitely want to do things right while staying true to myself. It was important for us to include family, wedding party and their spouses, and wedding officiant to our RD as they will actually be participating in the rehearsal.

     

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    RaineH
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