Stressed out

acj928 · October 2013

I don't even know where to begin. I know I don't have it that bad. My hair and makeup trial was supposed to be scheduled for this Friday. I got the day off. I got two bridesmaids to be able to come with me. I emailed my wedding planner to confirm and she told me no that she never knew if I could for sure do it. Two months ago I told her It would be fine and that I would ask for the day off... I get how that could be interpreted as a maybe.. but that was two months ago and she never followed up with me. I thought it was scheduled. She has apologized.. but now I am waiting for her to call me so I can get this rescheduled. I'm just disappointed. I planned things around having this Friday off. I don't have any vacation days left to play with so I will have to cancel this one and reschedule it. I know I have time - 6 months. But I wanted to do it this year because I'm using so many vacation days for my honeymoon in 2014. And, you know, I was excited to do it this week, to cross something off my list. Etc. It's frustrating at this moment because I am just waiting for her to call me.

In my head I am imagining things just getting more hectic in the next few months, and it's stressing me out. I'm not sleeping well. I could be worrying for nothing. Another stresser is it's been hard to find a rehearsal dinner spot. It needs to be a place that is reasonably priced and handicap accessible. Apparently it's really hard to find those two things in one place. And I'm trying to be good and work out and eat better so I can look my best for the big day, but I hate working out! That's not a big deal but you know, I'm just ranting about my wedding woes right now. Some days I really do wish I could ditch all this and elope. I never dreamed about my wedding. But at this point it's just 6 months away, and ditching it would waste a lot of money and disappoint a lot of people. And I think at this point it's something I do want. I just don't want to deal with all the little things that have to be done for it.

Sorry for complaining. I know other people have worse situations than me. I just needed to rant a little and I didn't know where else to do it. Thanks for reading.

VarunaTT · October 2013

Why do you want anyone with you at your hair and makeup trial? That's really needy. I can at least empathize with wanting help shopping for dress, but wedding planner at your hair/makeup trial?

KEMcCay · October 2013

You have 6 months left... I would honestly just relax. I'm getting married November 1st, and my hair trial is October 29th. I'm also going alone.

Honestly, you have time, it's all going to work out.

acj928 · October 2013

VarunaTT said:

Why do you want anyone with you at your hair and makeup trial? That's really needy. I can at least empathize with wanting help shopping for dress, but wedding planner at your hair/makeup trial?

No no no. I don't need the wedding planner there at all. She's just the one coordinating the scheduling of it. I don't need any bridesmaids there either. But I invited them and thought it would be nice for their opinions because I'm not very good at that stuff.

msdds51 · October 2013

Deep Breath.....*inhales*....*exhales*....good. Now go on with your day. You sound like you're very far ahead of the game with planning. You'll be alright.

acj928 · October 2013

kss20 said:

Deep Breath.....*inhales*....*exhales*....good. Now go on with your day. You sound like you're very far ahead of the game with planning. You'll be alright.

Thank you.. I think I just needed to hear that.

AuntFlo · October 2013

A hair and makeup trial 6 months ahead of time doesn't seem that wise to me. There's no way your hair and makeup people are going to remember what they did 6 months ago. I'd schedule something for 2 - 6 weeks prior to the wedding, and you don't need to bring anybody with your or take a day off work or anything like that. Schedule something for the evening or weekend.

acj928 · October 2013

AuntFlo said:

A hair and makeup trial 6 months ahead of time doesn't seem that wise to me. There's no way your hair and makeup people are going to remember what they did 6 months ago. I'd schedule something for 2 - 6 weeks prior to the wedding, and you don't need to bring anybody with your or take a day off work or anything like that. Schedule something for the evening or weekend.

Yes.. that is starting to make sense. My wedding planner is the one who told me that I should do the hair and makeup trial in the fall. I mean I need to figure out if I like the people and want to hire them, right? That part of it makes sense to me as I would have to book them enough in advance to make sure they are available for my wedding day. Also I did give evenings and weekends as times that would work for me and they didn't work for the hair and makeup people that's why I ended up with using a vacation day. We'll see what options I am given next.

For the record, I wasn't really upset that I asked bridesmaids to come with me and now they might not be able to come. I know I don't need to bring them and if they were busy I was going to go alone anyway. I just thought it would be nice to get some other opinions. My FSIL had her mom come with her to her hair and makeup trials so I thought it would be ok to bring someone too.

VarunaTT · October 2013

Why is your wedding planner planning the hair and makeup trial. That just seems odd. I'd just schedule it myself. Even if it's a business she has a relationship with (thus a discount), still schedule your own appointment. Unless you're some sort of, "I'm paying for you to do everything and I mean EVERYTHING, just point me where I go", then I guess I understand.

Can you take back the day of vacation?

acj928 · October 2013

VarunaTT said:

Why is your wedding planner planning the hair and makeup trial. That just seems odd. I'd just schedule it myself. Even if it's a business she has a relationship with (thus a discount), still schedule your own appointment. Unless you're some sort of, "I'm paying for you to do everything and I mean EVERYTHING, just point me where I go", then I guess I understand.

Can you take back the day of vacation?

I don't know - that's the way she does things. She contacts me about the next thing to plan, explains it, we give her some dates and times, she contacts the vendors and sets up a time that works for both sides. I could certainly schedule things myself, but I guess that is part of what we are paying her for, although I hadn't thought of it that way.

I have to find out if I can take the vacation day back. Not sure. But I am waiting to find out if I need to switch it with another day or if an evening or weekend will work instead.

acj928 · October 2013

Well I've calmed down by now. Sorry I ranted here. I just need to hear advice from other people planning their weddings. My close friends are not married nor are they getting married yet so it can be hard to have perspective sometimes. Thanks for all the responses everyone. I know things will work out. I just unfortunately stress out easily.

PirateBarbie · October 2013

VarunaTT said:

Why is your wedding planner planning the hair and makeup trial. That just seems odd. I'd just schedule it myself. Even if it's a business she has a relationship with (thus a discount), still schedule your own appointment. Unless you're some sort of, "I'm paying for you to do everything and I mean EVERYTHING, just point me where I go", then I guess I understand.

Can you take back the day of vacation?

all of this^^^

does she wipe your ass for you, too?

i mean, more power to you if you're getting the most for your money and using her every available service - this just seems insane to me. (then again, I also didn't have a wedding planner, and did my own makeup).

it sounds like you need to take Friday off and just treat yourself to lunch/a spa day/relax a little.

does your normal hairstylist (if you have one) do hair and/or makeup? you could probably just set up an appointment with them during their normal business hours for a trial.

acj928 · October 2013

PirateBarbie said:

VarunaTT said:

Why is your wedding planner planning the hair and makeup trial. That just seems odd. I'd just schedule it myself. Even if it's a business she has a relationship with (thus a discount), still schedule your own appointment. Unless you're some sort of, "I'm paying for you to do everything and I mean EVERYTHING, just point me where I go", then I guess I understand.

Can you take back the day of vacation?

all of this^^^

does she wipe your ass for you, too?

i mean, more power to you if you're getting the most for your money and using her every available service - this just seems insane to me. (then again, I also didn't have a wedding planner, and did my own makeup).

it sounds like you need to take Friday off and just treat yourself to lunch/a spa day/relax a little.

does your normal hairstylist (if you have one) do hair and/or makeup? you could probably just set up an appointment with them during their normal business hours for a trial.

Sorry, but I hired a wedding planner and I never told her that she has to schedule everything for me. She just does it. She tells me to give her my availability. It's her style. I've never planned a wedding before, this is just how I thought things go. She has never offered for me to schedule things myself and she's never given me any vendor's direct contact information unless she's copying me or a vendor on an email. Sure, I could ask, but I didn't know that I should. I thought it was normal for her to work this way. I stand corrected, I guess.

I do not have a regular hair dresser. The one I used for years moved and I have tried out a few over the last 2 years and have yet to find one I love enough to go to more than once.

This has all been resolved now. I appreciate the comments, but I've moved on. Thank you.

AuntFlo · October 2013

end of replies.

DixieNormous330 · October 2013

Stressed out

Re: Stressed out

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