Offbeat Weddings

Elopement Parties

I'm not real familiar with etiquette but I'd like some direction. My fiance and I are getting married in Hawaii, just us, to avoid the whole wedding drama. We're having a post-wedding party a few months after, very casual, to celebrate with friends and family. My aunt and my best friend want to throw me a shower, which I'm kind of torn on. Can that even be done? Can I have a shower if I'm not doing the whole traditional wedding? And, when do I have it? After I'm married but before the party? Before all of it? I'm just really confused on all of it.

Re: Elopement Parties

  • JRP2014 said:
    I'm not real familiar with etiquette but I'd like some direction. My fiance and I are getting married in Hawaii, just us, to avoid the whole wedding drama. We're having a post-wedding party a few months after, very casual, to celebrate with friends and family. My aunt and my best friend want to throw me a shower, which I'm kind of torn on. Can that even be done? Can I have a shower if I'm not doing the whole traditional wedding? And, when do I have it? After I'm married but before the party? Before all of it? I'm just really confused on all of it.
    The etiquette rule is that anyone invited to pre-wedding parties (e.g. your shower), gets invited to the wedding. Since you're not inviting anyone to your wedding, your forego the pre-wedding parties.

    Your post-wedding party where you invite friends and family to celebrate your wedding after the fact is fine from an etiquette standpoint as long as you're not reenacting the ceremony or pretending to be a bride, KWIM? It sounds really fun. Have fun!
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    grumbledoreDreamergirl8812
  • LMAO! No, not re-enacting or pretending but that's pretty funny. I guess I'll graciously decline a shower. Maybe I'll host a girls-only brunch before Hawaii in lieu of a shower or a bachelorette party (which I loathe the idea of).
  • JRP2014 said:
    LMAO! No, not re-enacting or pretending but that's pretty funny. I guess I'll graciously decline a shower. Maybe I'll host a girls-only brunch before Hawaii in lieu of a shower or a bachelorette party (which I loathe the idea of).
    This sounds perfect! (You'd be surprised how many women want to reenact their ceremonies "so family and friends can see it". It's ridic.) If you don't want a bachelorette party, you can decline offers for these also. Have fun in Hawaii!
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