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Long distance bridesmaids

Lisa1330Lisa1330 member
First Comment First Anniversary
in Wedding Party
Hi all. All of my wedding party doesn't live in the same place. In total groomsmen n bridesmaids we have 10. Only a few live in the same place my home town n my fiances home town, a few of the bridesmaids know each other and same with the groomsmen. It's important to my fiancé and I that they try to get to know each other better and bond but that's proving to be difficult because of the distance. My fiancé and I do not even live in the same area as our bridal party. Any suggestions would be helpful thanks so much :)
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Re: Long distance bridesmaids

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    Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Lisa1330 said:
    Hi all. All of my wedding party doesn't live in the same place. In total groomsmen n bridesmaids we have 10. Only a few live in the same place my home town n my fiances home town, a few of the bridesmaids know each other and same with the groomsmen. It's important to my fiancé and I that they try to get to know each other better and bond but that's proving to be difficult because of the distance. My fiancé and I do not even live in the same area as our bridal party. Any suggestions would be helpful thanks so much :)
    You're going to cause yourself a unnecessary stress if you try to set up play dates among grown adults. They have their own lives and being pressured into getting to know some strangers for your wedding is probably the least of their concerns and should absolutely be the least of yours.



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    ViczaesarViczaesar member
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    Lisa1330 said:
    Hi all. All of my wedding party doesn't live in the same place. In total groomsmen n bridesmaids we have 10. Only a few live in the same place my home town n my fiances home town, a few of the bridesmaids know each other and same with the groomsmen. It's important to my fiancé and I that they try to get to know each other better and bond but that's proving to be difficult because of the distance. My fiancé and I do not even live in the same area as our bridal party. Any suggestions would be helpful thanks so much :)
    Why?  That's an unreasonable expectation, and completely unnecessary.  It's not a new social group.  If they didn't already know each other before they're not going to be besties after your wedding.



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    banana468banana468 member
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    I think you need to let go of the idea that these people are supposed to get to know each other.    They may not meet and become friends over the course of your engagement and that's OK.

    If you want, invite friends out to visit and host a party with no pressure and be fine if people just come out for the wedding only. 
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    NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
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    I suggest you and your FI give up on trying to get them to bond. They don't need to be each other's besties. They are your besties.
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    manateehuggermanateehugger member
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    Agreed. Please don't try to force your friends to bond. 

    Look at it this way - if you like them all, they naturally should get along just fine. I met two bridesmaids of a wedding I was in during the bachelorette party the weekend before the wedding. They were great and nice and there was nothing forced about it. 

    They don't need to be friends with each other. 
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    vk2204vk2204 member
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    I am standing up in a wedding in December and the only person I know is the bride, I am thankful she is not going to force a 'get to know you' event. It is not a big deal if they don't know each other. Trying to get everyone together will cause more stress than you think.
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    southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
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    We had BMs and GMs all over the country. Not one person in the WP had met everyone else (except us of course). It did not matter at all. They don't need to be friends. We all hung out at the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner and that was PLENTY. They all ended up going to the bar together after the RD and after the wedding, but we didn't ever expect them to be buddy-buddy.
    *********************************************************************************

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    NYCBruinNYCBruin member
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    I wouldn't worry about them getting to know each other.  There really is no need for that.  If they haven't met before now, it's not like they're likely to hang out after your wedding, either.  Why would they want to take time away from their friends and family to "get to know" people they will never see after your wedding?  They're already putting a lot of time and money into your wedding, don't ask them to give up more just because you think they should be friends with each other.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
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    clg1213clg1213 member
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    I agree with the overall sentiment above.  I wanted to add that you could do a little email that just "introduces" everyone to each other.  I'd include the basics on how you know the person and something kind of fun for each one (a shared memory, an interesting fact about the person, a mention of a favorite hobby...).  It may make things feel more casual when they meet or if they all end up hanging out together when you are getting ready for the big event 

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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    Nix the bonding. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    Don't try to force your attendants to bond with each other.  That can get really awkward, especially if they have nothing in common besides being acquainted with you.
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    RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I have been in several weddings and have never bonded with anyone I didn't already know in them.
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    Lisa1330Lisa1330 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Thanks for the comments... It's helpful.... I guess I've been friends with these girls for yrs plus my sis I law and my sis in law to be... We have a FB group for the wedding party to give their input on things and to let them know about various things... I def don't expect them to b besties just friends... Last year when I stood for my brother... The wedding party was me her 3 sisters and her best friend... I knew none of them... Now we are not best friends by any means ...but we r friends, we keep up with each other on FB and chat once in a while.... I just want them to feel comfortable with one another and be able to have fun and enjoy themselves before during and after the wedding.... I mean they r my best friends so they have all known about each other for years... And it would be nice have them put a face to the ppl they hear stories about... But thanks for re enforcing this should not be stressful...
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    ViczaesarViczaesar member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Lisa1330 said:
    Thanks for the comments... It's helpful.... I guess I've been friends with these girls for yrs plus my sis I law and my sis in law to be... We have a FB group for the wedding party to give their input on things and to let them know about various things... I def don't expect them to b besties just friends... Last year when I stood for my brother... The wedding party was me her 3 sisters and her best friend... I knew none of them... Now we are not best friends by any means ...but we r friends, we keep up with each other on FB and chat once in a while.... I just want them to feel comfortable with one another and be able to have fun and enjoy themselves before during and after the wedding.... I mean they r my best friends so they have all known about each other for years... And it would be nice have them put a face to the ppl they hear stories about... But thanks for re enforcing this should not be stressful...
    You shouldn't expect them to become friends either.  If they're not friends already, why would being in your wedding party change that?



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    ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I was in a wedding once where the only person I knew was the bride.  She kept forcing us to get together so we could bond.  It was terrible, we all led separate social lives, with our own friends, and although we were friendly enough, we weren't besties by the time the wedding day rolled around.  I wouldn't force my bridal party to get together if I was you.  They'll all snuggle close together and smile big for the photographer on your wedding day, that's really all a bride should hope for when she picks bridesmaids from different parts of her life.  This shouldn't be something for you to stress over, especially since you've got so much else going on!
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