After party etiquette

Re: After party etiquette

• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  October 2013

  I think this is something that can be spread via word of mouth. If it's just apps and cocktails, she won't need an exact head count - a rough estimate will be fine. You don't even HAVE to invite everyone if you don't want to. The wedding will be over and you will have hosted all our guests so you're good on that front.

  
  

  I see no etiquette objections to this. It sounds fun! 

  *********************************************************************************

  
  

  

  Report0 Reply
• dramamonkey member

  

  October 2013

  My two cents - I think it sounds lovely, but I think invitations should be sent, and sooner rather than later. 

  
  

  I know that if a friend of mine was getting married so early in the day, and I came from out of town, I would probably get a hotel room the night before the wedding, but not the night after. If I didn't know about the afterparty until AT the wedding, it would probably be too late to change my plans. A reception that late would definitely require a 2nd night in the hotel. If I knew there was an afterparty in advance, I might plan accordingly to stick around. 
  
  Might I make a suggestion that you recommend to your mom to have the party a little earlier? I know you don't want people to think/assume that it's dinner time and they're getting a full meal, but you are going to be TIRED by the time 8:00 PM rolls around. (My friend had a 10:30 brunch wedding several years ago. That means that she started getting ready around 7 AM. By 8 PM she was ASLEEP. 

  
  

  But I guess you could just take a nap between. 
  

  Report3 Reply
• STARMOON44 member

  

  October 2013

  If no one will be left out, why not just include this with your regular invites? That way people who might not be able to make the morning could join, and out of town guests who might have planned to get home that night can plan to attend if they want.

  Report2 Reply
• cowgirl8238 member

  

  October 2013

  I love the idea, and I too would include the information sooner rather than later.  Just as long as you don't add people to only the after party you are fine!

  Report0 Reply
• EverAfer member

  

  October 2013

  Last year, we were invited to the after party during the noon reception, I don't know if it was planned or if the idea to meet at a restaurant in the evening was spontaneous.  But it was Saturday, and the location was right next to each other so we said yes. Unfortunately, it would be a 45 minutes drive home so we just hung around where we were for a few hours instead.  Other people who were staying in a hotel in the area went to take naps- wished we had that choice!  I happen to have a pair of jeans in my car, FI did not and wished he could get more comfortable. PP already said it, but finding out at the wedding was too late for us but we adored the B&G and just went with it.

  
  

  Word of mouth is fine, but if it's going to be inconvenient for some people to find out the day of, please let them know ahead of time. I'm sure they would love to spend the extra time with you and it will make it easier for them to plan.

  Report0 Reply
• MandyMost member

  

  October 2013

  Since everyone's invited, you don't have to worry about the "tiered reception". And I would definitely send a SEPARATE invitation, not include it in the main invitation, so it's clear that it's a totally separate event. When I RSVP to a wedding, I'm saying yes to the ceremony and the cocktail hour, and the reception... that RSVP should be totally separate from deciding if they want to go to the evening party or not. People might be really tired after socializing and partying from 10am to probably around 2pm at least, right? And then maybe they'll rest, and then go to dinner... and then maybe just want to go to bed!

  
  

  If you decide not to do the invitations and just go by "word of mouth", that doesn't mean you wait until people are THERE at the wedding and mention it. It means you call  up your college friends and say "Hey, my mom's having an after party at 8pm the day of the wedding. You're totally welcome to go. Here's her address. It's casual, so don't worry about dressing up. They'll be plenty of drinks and appetizers, and we'd love to see you there". 

  Report2 Reply
• nextrightthing member

  

  October 2013

  Thanks all. I think invitations, sent separately, are the best way to go. The reception should be over by four.  Still deciding on the party time.  My mom wants to serve appetizers, so I'm concerned that encouraging it to start at, say, 6 will set up an etiquette nightmare of no meal at mealtime.  Then again, I'm sure she'd be okay with serving enough apps to make a meal.  Maybe pizza.    Starting a little later gives people time to change, maybe take a nap, and then get there (it is about 45 minutes away).  Hmmm.

   

  

  Report0 Reply