Rehearsal dinner on BM's birthday?

Inkdancer · October 2013

I feel really bad right now. My FI and I fell in love with a venue and agreed to a date. After confirming the date, I remembered that my BM's birthday is the day before, which would be when we'd have to have the rehearsal dinner.

How can I honor her birthday and not totally overrun her with my wedding?

OjitosVerdes · October 2013

Errr - I wouldn't worry about it too much. I think most adults understand that the world doesn't revolve around birthdays, and you've done nothing wrong. It's sweet of you to be concerned, and maybe you could order a little cake/dessert with a candle or something to honor her at the rehearsal dinner, and give her a nice non-wedding-related birthday card/gift.

itzMS · October 2013

Inkdancer said:

I feel really bad right now. My FI and I fell in love with a venue and agreed to a date. After confirming the date, I remembered that my BM's birthday is the day before, which would be when we'd have to have the rehearsal dinner.

How can I honor her birthday and not totally overrun her with my wedding?

Just acknowledge her beforehand.

Before the rehearsal starts, privatey give her a card and/or small gift. Then move on.

Unless it's a milestone birthday like 21 or 30, I'd not mention it during the rehearsal.

Dreamergirl8812 · October 2013

My BM planned my bachelorette on her birthday. She obviously didn't care.

Xstatic3333 · October 2013

Don't feel bad! If your friend is really into her birthday AND you want to, you could toast to her birthday (quickly) at the RD. If not, no worries.

ashleyep · October 2013

I don't think she'll care. My cousin got married on my birthday, it didn't bother me that I didn't get to have cake and candles on the actual day of my birthday. I'm sure she'll understand, get her a birthday card!

allispain · October 2013

I don't think it's a big deal. Get her a birthday present (if you normally do that for her birthday) that is separate from her gift for being in your BP, and make sure that you give it to her sometime on her birthday (before the rehearsal, between the rehearsal and the dinner, etc.).

One of DH's GM and his wife had their anniversary the day of our rehearsal - they joked about how great it was that they got to get all dressed up and have a nice dinner and didn't have to pay a dime :-) Adults will usually understand that these things happen - it would be pretty sad for someone to throw a fit because your wedding weekend happens to fall on a milestone event in their own lives.

Inkdancer · October 2013

Thanks everyone! She's turning 25 so I will make sure to get her a nice card and a gift like I usually would. I'm sure she'll understand; she's a total sweetheart. I'm just a bit of a worrier.

Simky906 · October 2013

I'm in a similar boat; my MOH's birthday is the day before the rehearsal dinner. So I will most likely get her a big birthday/thank you for being in my wedding party gift. And as our wedding isn't until 5PM on Saturday, after the rehearsal dinner on Friday my fiancé and I, as well as some other friends, are going to grab birthday drinks- and I will forbid any wedding discussion! She's been really sweet about it as well but I wanted to make sure she had some birthday time if it was possible.

Jen4948 · October 2013

You can acknowledge it before or after the rehearsal dinner with a nice card and gift.

You can also ask her if she's okay about her birthday being acknowledged at your rehearsal dinner and if she's okay with it, announce it then and maybe offer her a toast. But only do this if she green-lights it.

lc07 · October 2013

I think you should also be prepared to be understanding and agreeable should she decide not to attend the rehearsal and dinner because it is her birthday. She may have other plans.

Jean0715 · October 2013

We have TWO birthdays the day before our wedding, which is the day we will most likely be hosting the RD. One of them is FI brother, the other a BM. I will probably have a small cake for each of them and sing Happy Birthday. If they decide to have other plans and don't want to attend the rehearsal or the dinner I wont be heartbroken. I'm sure both of them know how to play follow the leader down the aisle.

amandancer05 · October 2013

My mom's birthday is the day before our wedding. We'll toast her, sing happy birthday, and maybe have a special dessert. I'm not worried about it.

Sadly I'm a horrible daughter and I don't remember what she said when we talked about picking that date. But she hasn't expressed any problems with it in the year of planning.

Inkdancer · October 2013

Thanks all! I talked to BM and she is thrilled, because it means she has an excuse to be home with her parents on her birthday. Whew!

lawsrw · October 2013

The birthday of one of my best friends (who is a BM) is on my actual wedding day but I told her ahead of time that we were looking at that date and she was fine with it : )

I plan to get her a card and special treat and give it to her the night before and we just plan to celebrate everything (our marriage and her b-day) at the wedding! Her parents will be at the wedding as well so hopefully she'll still feel like she's getting some b-day love!

churst21 · October 2013

I was MOH for my best friend and her wedding fell on my and her dad's birthday. They had a cake for us and sang Happy Birthday, but I don't think that either of us expected anything like that. We were just happy to be at her wedding! I'm sure your BM will appreciate whatever you do and it sounds like she is happy with how things have worked out.

Rehearsal dinner on BM's birthday?

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