African American Weddings

Initial Head Count vs Final Head Count

Hello Everyone! 
I saw that some of the girls have a counter at the bottom of their posts that show how many guests have RSVP'd.  Some of the counters say they invited 250+ people and only about 175 are coming (for example).
 
I'm wondering what you have experinced as far as your guest list. Did you invite well over what you can afford hoping to have just the right amount?  Do you have a lot of out of town guests that are unable to come? I can only afford 150 people, but I'm kind of afraid to invite more than what I can afford because I'm afraid people will bring a guest (even if we did not grant them +1) or almost everyone will show (with my luck!), then I end up over my headcount.  Any suggestions would be helpful and much appreciated. Our venue wil look really empty with only 100 guests. Please help!   

Re: Initial Head Count vs Final Head Count

  • edited December 2011
    I'm facing the same problem.  I've been told as a rule of thumb to expect 15% of your invited guests to not be able to come and to use that number for an estimate.  For now, we've made a spreadsheet of everyone we want to invite and added a column to include their total count (for their husband/wife, etc.).  From there we are graying out people we know who cannot make it due to age, health, distance and seeing where that leaves us. I'm sure there's a much better way but this is the best we could come up with at the moment to figure out how many people we may need to fit into our space. Wouldn't it be nice if people had to let you know if they plan to attend before you sign your contract? :-)
  • Vanessa AVanessa A member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We sent invites to everyone we wanted. Our room capacity can fit the amount of ppl we invited, we'd just have to change the diagram of the room and set up. The thing is, we invited ppl we knew couldn't come out of courtesy. My FI is a military man and so is his entire fam/friends. We sent invites but military orders have been sent and most of his friends and even his best men have been called to serve; one is Korea, the other in Afghanistan. Should those folk change their minds, we'll use the back up plan of changing the room set up. We're having a plated dinner reception and the chef will make 12% more according to the final head count given for those who fell to RSVP. Those are the only back up plan(s) we have right now. My prayer-no more than 155-165 ppl will attend so I can keep the floor plan I want and no extra $$ will be due.

    Can't say these plans will work for you but I got my biggest help from the on-staff sales manager @ my ballroom. She helped come up with the back up plans due to our guest list issues. Maybe consult with your catering manager to set up some back up plans?
  • edited December 2011
    We decided on a 100-person wedding, but we are sending invites to over 140, knowing that there is no way those extra 40 people would make it. But they are family (Fi has 11 sibblings, all married with kids) scattered across the globe. I doubt they would all  spend ~$2k each for a plane ticket to come, but we HAVE to send them invites. With that said, I include them on the cost/material for invites but not the "guestlist" so i am not sure I would put 100 or 140 on my counter... and without this background story, you wouldn't know how many people i am "inviting" by just looking at my counter.

    I am also doing an A list and B list. I know many boards on here frown upon that but oh well! I know out of the 100 people we think will be here, 55 or so will be traveling from Africa, Europe and Asia. Some may not have enough $$ for the plane tickets, or even get visas to come. Our american guestor people living here in the states might have better plan over memorial day weekend (my wedding date) So I am sending them an invite early. If they can't make it, I will invite my friends here i want at the wedding who could fit on our 100-people  "guestlist"

    All that to say:
     *don't look at people counters unless you know what they mean
     *true that about 15% of people
     *you can invite more guests as other decline
     *Some people have cleverly spelled out who exactely is invited on the reply cards, so people knew they couldn't bring an entourage or special date to the wedding
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for the feedback everyone. I think I'm going to use the 15% rule. I already have an A & B list and I don't see anything wrong with that. So I'm going to add more invites to the list based on my B list. I was wondering if anyone was inviting more people closer to the wedding once you get an idea of your headcount. I didn't know if that was concidered rude. My venue can hold a lot more than what we invited, so fortunately, a change in the floor plan is the least of my concerns. I can expand up to 300ppl. One concern is that ppl will not come and the venue will look empty, but the major concern is the budget if we have an overage.

    Because I have people already telling me they are brining somebody,I plan to make it as clear as possible on the invites as to who is allowed to bring a guest. I know you can't totally stop some people from bringing their guests, but I will try to cut it down as much as possible. I've heard too many brides say they didn't know half the people at their wedding because their guests decided to invite an entourage to come and party with them. I think that is so rude, but people don't reaally consider the cost factor if they're not paying,
    Thanks again ladies.
  • tamtam7tamtam7 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This is such a great question.  I've been stressing out over the guest list and wondered the exact same thing.  I was actually going to post a similar question myself.  My issue is that my venue holds less than I intended to invite.  My venue supposedly holds 130 (I don't see how), but we intended to invite 150.  Well, I'm having a hard time keeping up with my end of the bargain and only inviting 75....I'm currently at 90!  And much like the other ladies, I find myself wanting to invite people just as a courtesy.  I think I'm going to invite more than I expect to come with the thought that these people won't show up because they're from out of town.  I too have an A and B list, but the A list is still pretty long.  This guest list thing is just such a headache!
  • edited December 2011
    We started with a 100-person list. We invited 120 and SPECIFICALLY indicated the number of seats that the invitation recipient had been allotted... And today I've gotten my fourth call from FI's parents saying that someone wants to bring 4 instead of the 2 they were allotted. THEN, we found out that someone who we'd invited from the UK (out of courtesy) is now rearranging everything to be at the wedding... along with his 5 family members. I've come to realize the guest list is a gamble. If you're a risk taker, send out the invites... If not, stick with what you know you can afford.

    Consider an A and B list... A-listers get their invitations first. Then every time someone says they won't make it, send a B-list invitation to replace that spot.
  • edited December 2011
    Oh wow Pink Panther! Are you allowing people to bring a firne if they ask? Oh well, atleast they asked and didn't just show up.

     After reading your story, I am definitely going to stick with the 150 on my A list and once people let me know they can not come, then I will invite folks from the B list. I talked to FI last night about this and he says he doesn't have any B list people, but I know that will change..lol.. Our initial goal was to invite 125, but that has gone up to 150 now.

    Any of you allow your guest to RSVP by phone? I've been looking at reserving a toll free number and offering my guests that option. I'll try anything to make this process as smooth and stress free as possible.
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