Paying for bridesmaid dresses?

Jbirdd38 · October 2013

I'm curious to hear others' thoughts on the bride paying for her bridesmaids dresses. I know that accepting to be in the wedding means that you accept the responsibility of paying for your own attire, but I also think it's nice when the bride pays (obviously, only if she's able). Thoughts? Thanks.

manateehugger · October 2013

Um, exactly what you said...

If the bride can afford it, of course it's wonderful for her to cover the expense (however, paying for the dress doesn't count as a "gift") since it is, after all, for her own wedding.

But yes, I've been a bridesmaid numerous times and I've always assumed I will be buying my own dress. I'd be pleasantly surprised and appreciative if a bride covered my dress.

leroweb · October 2013

The weddings I have been in I have bought my own. For my brothers wedding they offered to buy it for me because I was in college and poor but my parents paid for it. She did buy me the shoes though. But I was not a gift.

doeydo · October 2013

I saw on one episode of Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids a bride pay for one BM's dress because she couldn't afford it and was really upset. I think in general, it is expected that the BMs pay for their own dresses and that the bride should choose a dress within their price range. If the bride chooses to pay for the dresses, that's very generous of her.

tammym1001 · October 2013

I agree that I've always expected to pay for my own dress in the weddings I've been in. I am paying for my BM's dresses, hair, and nails for the wedding though. I don't feel like I have to, but I can and so I want to. I don't want my wedding to be a burden on anyone and a couple of my BM's are going through some major life changes right now so I'm going to take care of that stuff for them. It's not their gift, just something nice.

allispain · October 2013

I agree that it's nice if the bride can afford to pay her her BMs dresses and offers to do so. However, it's certainly not required or expected, and is very rarely the case (I base this off of posts on here as well as my own experiences).

Blue_Bird · October 2013

My thoughts are that it's the right thing to do

EverAfer · October 2013

As a bridesmaid, I've bought my own dress and shoes which I expected to do and didn't mind. As a bride, I've offered to pay for the bridesmaids dresses. I had such an expensive and thankless "bridesmaid" experience, I wouldn't want any of my friends to feel that way. (I spent close to $1K for that wedding and the BM gift was matching clutches and jewelry the bride insist we wear.) But that's because we had a very demanding, inconsiderate bride.

It's nice, if the bride can, to cover the costs of the dress. If not, just make sure you know what your BMs budgets are and keep within a comfortable range for them.

Blue_Bird · October 2013

scribe95 said:

by saying "it's the right thing to do" you are making a statement that brides who don't do it are doing something wrong and that is completely inaccurate. It is nice if a bride can afford it but many can't and they are doing nothing wrong.

Wrong. If I had meant that, then I would have said that. Also, if it's a priority for you, then you'd build it into your budget just like anything else.

Havana2014 · October 2013

Paying for your bridesmaids dresses is definitely the norm where I'm from. It's very rare to hear of them buying their own. I'll also be paying for hair and makeup etc. Same goes for the groomsmen.

chelcee22 · October 2013

I think most bridesmaids understand that they will be paying for their own dress. But it's the bride's responsibility to make sure that the dresses she picks fit into everyone's budget! If she picks something crazy expensive, then she should be prepared to chip in.

itzMS · October 2013

I have a little problem known as "expensive taste".

I liked the $250 JCrew bridesmaid dresses. A lot.

I knew with 100% certainty without asking that this would be above at least 1 of my bridesmaids' budgets.

Therefore, I bought them for each bridesmaid.

Totally situational.

climbingsingle · October 2013

I've been in 6 weddings. Each time, I have paid for my own dress, shoes, etc. I've had no problem with that. When I accepted the invite to be in the wedding, I assumed I'd be paying for those items. If I didn't think I could afford it, I would have declined.

ei34 · October 2013

If a bride can afford to pay for the bridesmaid dresses, I think it's a nice gesture. It's not a requirement though (not in NYC anyway..). When I got married, I told my two sisters (my co-MOHs) and good friend (bridesmaid) to buy any dress they liked in any shade of purple...that way all three (with different body types, not to mention different budgets) could each find something they liked, could afford, and would hopefully wear again.

Going into it, bridesmaids know that paying for the dress is part of the role. The last two weddings I was in, the dresses were over $250 each, which was kind of a drag, since they were both so terrible that I donated them to charity as soon as I got them back from the dry cleaners after the wedding. Again, though, I always know that buying a bridesmaid dress is my own responsibility.

ashleyep · October 2013

I think this tends to be a regional thing. If I'm not mistaken, in a lot of places in Europe (or the UK anyway?) the bride always pays for the bridesmaid dresses. It's just what you do.

But I've never known anyone to pay for them for their bridesmaids. I'll probably help, since I have a problem similar to @itzMs

Paying for bridesmaid dresses?

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