this is the code for the render ad
Wedding Party

Wedding Party drama! Long, sorry!

Our wedding is next month, November 2nd. Our parents have been wonderful. My daughter is my Maid of Honor, my sister is my Matron of Honor and I have two other bridesmaids. They've all purchased everything, have it and have been great help. I also have five helpers for DIY projects, set up, break down and other things that I need help with on the day of. All but one have been awesome. My FI's dad is his Best Man and he has three other groomsmen plus two ushers. Three of them have been great, the other 3 not so much.

 

My FI met with them yesterday to purchase their attire. We've already purchased the groomsmen’s’ ties because they were custom made. Our wedding is pretty laid back so the guys are just wearing white dress shirts, ties, dress khakis and casual dress shoes. One of the groomsmen didn't show up yesterday but did send my FI a text a couple hours before to let him know an emergency came up. No big deal, we can work with that since they are getting their attire from a local store off the rack and had plenty of everything. One of the ushers was a no show and couldn't be contacted. We still haven't heard from him at all. During shopping the usher that showed up asked why my FI didn't order him a tie. My FI already let both the ushers know that they would be wearing brown ties and if they didn't have one he would buy them one. He also told the ushers that they could wear whatever white dress shirts, dress khakis and casual dress shoes they had because he wasn't concerned about them matching the groomsmen perfectly and didn’t want them to have to spend too much. When the usher asked about the tie, my FI reminded him that he was going to be wearing a brown tie and if he didn't have one my FI would get him one. The usher didn't say anything else about it. Last night, 4 hours after they finished shopping, My FI got a text from that usher cussing him out because he thought it was rude that he wasn't getting a tie like the groomsmen and letting us know we could find another usher. He also said that if we wanted him and his girlfriend to come to the wedding that was fine but if not they wished us well. My FI texted him and tried to call him with no response. He still hasn't gotten a response today. My FI has been so upset and worried because he thought this guy was a good friend. He doesn’t really know what to do. He has other friends he can ask but he doesn’t want them to feel like a second thought. My brother in law is stepping in as an usher for the one who was a no show. My FI actually wanted him to be an usher to begin with but he’s in law enforcement school so sometimes he has class on Saturday and he couldn’t commit at the time because he didn’t know his schedule.

 

My helper who hasn't been a part of anything or really responded to anything regarding the wedding decided to take it upon herself to plan my bachelorette party all by herself. Sorry, NO, that's my sister's thing and my sister has been very excited about it. After all, she is my Matron of Honor. I told her she could ask my sister to help but instead she said with an attitude that we could just tell her where to be and when and she would be there. Whatever, she can do what she wants, I'm not going to get upset about it. She just happens to be the usher's girlfriend who dropped out yesterday. She told a good friend of mine that she was mad at me for not letting her plan the bachelorette party and now her boyfriend drops out of the wedding? Hmmm…. I guess when you’re planning a wedding, you really find out things about people you never knew.

 

Any advice? Any similar experiences? To me this is just childish and crazy. You don’t back out of wedding less then a month before because you didn’t get your way on something that small. That messes everything up for everyone else. Sorry this is such a long vent but if you read it all, thanks! 

Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

Re: Wedding Party drama! Long, sorry!

  • Our wedding is next month, November 2nd. Our parents have been wonderful. My daughter is my Maid of Honor, my sister is my Matron of Honor and I have two other bridesmaids. They've all purchased everything, have it and have been great help. I also have five helpers for DIY projects, set up, break down and other things that I need help with on the day of. All but one have been awesome. My FI's dad is his Best Man and he has three other groomsmen plus two ushers. Three of them have been great, the other 3 not so much.

     I have to ask - did these "helpers" volunteer? 

    My FI met with them yesterday to purchase their attire. We've already purchased the groomsmen’s’ ties because they were custom made. Our wedding is pretty laid back so the guys are just wearing white dress shirts, ties, dress khakis and casual dress shoes. One of the groomsmen didn't show up yesterday but did send my FI a text a couple hours before to let him know an emergency came up. No big deal, we can work with that since they are getting their attire from a local store off the rack and had plenty of everything. One of the ushers was a no show and couldn't be contacted. We still haven't heard from him at all. During shopping the usher that showed up asked why my FI didn't order him a tie. My FI already let both the ushers know that they would be wearing brown ties and if they didn't have one he would buy them one. He also told the ushers that they could wear whatever white dress shirts, dress khakis and casual dress shoes they had because he wasn't concerned about them matching the groomsmen perfectly and didn’t want them to have to spend too much. When the usher asked about the tie, my FI reminded him that he was going to be wearing a brown tie and if he didn't have one my FI would get him one. The usher didn't say anything else about it. Last night, 4 hours after they finished shopping, My FI got a text from that usher cussing him out because he thought it was rude that he wasn't getting a tie like the groomsmen and letting us know we could find another usher. He also said that if we wanted him and his girlfriend to come to the wedding that was fine but if not they wished us well. My FI texted him and tried to call him with no response. He still hasn't gotten a response today. My FI has been so upset and worried because he thought this guy was a good friend. He doesn’t really know what to do. He has other friends he can ask but he doesn’t want them to feel like a second thought. My brother in law is stepping in as an usher for the one who was a no show. My FI actually wanted him to be an usher to begin with but he’s in law enforcement school so sometimes he has class on Saturday and he couldn’t commit at the time because he didn’t know his schedule.

     If the usher who is upset about the tie doesn't want to be an usher, oh well. He takes himself out of the WP. If I were your FI, I'd send him a text saying, "sorry you're hurt about the attire. If you don't want to be an usher, that's fine. We'd love for you and your gf to share in the day and attend as guests. Please let me know either way what you decide to do."

    As for the other usher who no-showed to the attire purchasing... why did you replace him? It's terribly rude to do this. You said the ushers aren't purchasing anything if they already have the items, so why did he "need" to be there in the first place? Am I missing something here?

    My helper who hasn't been a part of anything or really responded to anything regarding the wedding decided to take it upon herself to plan my bachelorette party all by herself. Sorry, NO, that's my sister's thing and my sister has been very excited about it. So decline the "helper's" offer to host it and accept your sister's offer. Done and done. After all, she is my Matron of Honor. I told her she could ask my sister to help but instead she said with an attitude that we could just tell her where to be and when and she would be there. Whatever, she can do what she wants, I'm not going to get upset about it. But you ARE upset about it. Otherwise you wouldn't have brought it up. Decline her offer to throw you a party and accept your sister's offer. She just happens to be the usher's girlfriend who dropped out yesterday. She told a good friend of mine that she was mad at me for not letting her plan the bachelorette party and now her boyfriend drops out of the wedding? Hmmm…. I guess when you’re planning a wedding, you really find out things about people you never knew.

     

    Any advice? Any similar experiences? To me this is just childish and crazy. You don’t back out of wedding less then a month before because you didn’t get your way on something that small. That messes everything up for everyone else. Sorry this is such a long vent but if you read it all, thanks! 

    I'm sorry this is stressing you out, but honestly, I would let it go for your own sanity. The usher/helper couple seem really immature and I would not get sucked into any drama they create. The more you let it upset you, the more you get sucked in. This is a non-issue if you just ignore their antics and let them be dramatic elsewhere.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
  • Our wedding is next month, November 2nd. Our parents have been wonderful. My daughter is my Maid of Honor, my sister is my Matron of Honor and I have two other bridesmaids. They've all purchased everything, have it and have been great help. I also have five helpers for DIY projects, set up, break down and other things that I need help with on the day of. All but one have been awesome. My FI's dad is his Best Man and he has three other groomsmen plus two ushers. Three of them have been great, the other 3 not so much. <?xml:namespace prefix = o />

     

    My FI met with them yesterday to purchase their attire. We've already purchased the groomsmen’s’ ties because they were custom made. Our wedding is pretty laid back so the guys are just wearing white dress shirts, ties, dress khakis and casual dress shoes. One of the groomsmen didn't show up yesterday but did send my FI a text a couple hours before to let him know an emergency came up. No big deal, we can work with that since they are getting their attire from a local store off the rack and had plenty of everything. One of the ushers was a no show and couldn't be contacted. We still haven't heard from him at all. During shopping the usher that showed up asked why my FI didn't order him a tie. My FI already let both the ushers know that they would be wearing brown ties and if they didn't have one he would buy them one. He also told the ushers that they could wear whatever white dress shirts, dress khakis and casual dress shoes they had because he wasn't concerned about them matching the groomsmen perfectly and didn’t want them to have to spend too much. When the usher asked about the tie, my FI reminded him that he was going to be wearing a brown tie and if he didn't have one my FI would get him one. The usher didn't say anything else about it. Last night, 4 hours after they finished shopping, My FI got a text from that usher cussing him out because he thought it was rude that he wasn't getting a tie like the groomsmen and letting us know we could find another usher. He also said that if we wanted him and his girlfriend to come to the wedding that was fine but if not they wished us well. My FI texted him and tried to call him with no response. He still hasn't gotten a response today. My FI has been so upset and worried because he thought this guy was a good friend. He doesn’t really know what to do. He has other friends he can ask but he doesn’t want them to feel like a second thought. My brother in law is stepping in as an usher for the one who was a no show. My FI actually wanted him to be an usher to begin with but he’s in law enforcement school so sometimes he has class on Saturday and he couldn’t commit at the time because he didn’t know his schedule.

     

    My helper who hasn't been a part of anything or really responded to anything regarding the wedding decided to take it upon herself to plan my bachelorette party all by herself. Sorry, NO, that's my sister's thing and my sister has been very excited about it. After all, she is my Matron of Honor. I told her she could ask my sister to help but instead she said with an attitude that we could just tell her where to be and when and she would be there. Whatever, she can do what she wants, I'm not going to get upset about it. She just happens to be the usher's girlfriend who dropped out yesterday. She told a good friend of mine that she was mad at me for not letting her plan the bachelorette party and now her boyfriend drops out of the wedding? Hmmm…. I guess when you’re planning a wedding, you really find out things about people you never knew.

     

    Any advice? Any similar experiences? To me this is just childish and crazy. You don’t back out of wedding less then a month before because you didn’t get your way on something that small. That messes everything up for everyone else. Sorry this is such a long vent but if you read it all, thanks! 

    Why did the ushers have to go shopping if they can wear whatever khakis, white shirt, and tie that they want? That's a non-issue.

    I do think it's kind of odd to not let all of the guys wear the same tie, but again, non-issue.

    Thankfully, you don't need ushers...so that's a non-issue too.

    What is a "helper"? Are you paying them? If not, they are doing setup and cleanup for you out of the kindness of their hearts. Total non-issue.

    Maybe the "helper" was just, you know, trying to be nice by offering you a bachelorette party? Hopefully, you responded with "Oh, thank you so much for thinking of me, Katie, but Sister is already planning a bachelorette for me". If you didn't say something like that, then I can understand why she's miffed.

  • I can't believe this is over a tie! Your FI should have bought enough for all his guys, whether they be ushers or groomsmen.
  • Why do your ushers need to purchase any special clothes?  I don't consider ushers to be part of the WP and therefore you shouldn't be dictating their choice of clothes.  And now that you've replaced an usher, this friend will see that he is replaceable in your FI's life and probably won't be around much more anyway.  I agree this couple is sounding very immature, but there was no need to replace the usher who dropped out.

    Also, I hope you are paying these helpers.

  • Our wedding is next month, November 2nd. Our parents have been wonderful. My daughter is my Maid of Honor, my sister is my Matron of Honor and I have two other bridesmaids. They've all purchased everything, have it and have been great help. I also have five helpers for DIY projects, set up, break down and other things that I need help with on the day of. All but one have been awesome. My FI's dad is his Best Man and he has three other groomsmen plus two ushers. Three of them have been great, the other 3 not so much.

     I have to ask - did these "helpers" volunteer? 

    My FI met with them yesterday to purchase their attire. We've already purchased the groomsmen’s’ ties because they were custom made. Our wedding is pretty laid back so the guys are just wearing white dress shirts, ties, dress khakis and casual dress shoes. One of the groomsmen didn't show up yesterday but did send my FI a text a couple hours before to let him know an emergency came up. No big deal, we can work with that since they are getting their attire from a local store off the rack and had plenty of everything. One of the ushers was a no show and couldn't be contacted. We still haven't heard from him at all. During shopping the usher that showed up asked why my FI didn't order him a tie. My FI already let both the ushers know that they would be wearing brown ties and if they didn't have one he would buy them one. He also told the ushers that they could wear whatever white dress shirts, dress khakis and casual dress shoes they had because he wasn't concerned about them matching the groomsmen perfectly and didn’t want them to have to spend too much. When the usher asked about the tie, my FI reminded him that he was going to be wearing a brown tie and if he didn't have one my FI would get him one. The usher didn't say anything else about it. Last night, 4 hours after they finished shopping, My FI got a text from that usher cussing him out because he thought it was rude that he wasn't getting a tie like the groomsmen and letting us know we could find another usher. He also said that if we wanted him and his girlfriend to come to the wedding that was fine but if not they wished us well. My FI texted him and tried to call him with no response. He still hasn't gotten a response today. My FI has been so upset and worried because he thought this guy was a good friend. He doesn’t really know what to do. He has other friends he can ask but he doesn’t want them to feel like a second thought. My brother in law is stepping in as an usher for the one who was a no show. My FI actually wanted him to be an usher to begin with but he’s in law enforcement school so sometimes he has class on Saturday and he couldn’t commit at the time because he didn’t know his schedule.

     If the usher who is upset about the tie doesn't want to be an usher, oh well. He takes himself out of the WP. If I were your FI, I'd send him a text saying, "sorry you're hurt about the attire. If you don't want to be an usher, that's fine. We'd love for you and your gf to share in the day and attend as guests. Please let me know either way what you decide to do."

    As for the other usher who no-showed to the attire purchasing... why did you replace him? It's terribly rude to do this. You said the ushers aren't purchasing anything if they already have the items, so why did he "need" to be there in the first place? Am I missing something here?

    My helper who hasn't been a part of anything or really responded to anything regarding the wedding decided to take it upon herself to plan my bachelorette party all by herself. Sorry, NO, that's my sister's thing and my sister has been very excited about it. So decline the "helper's" offer to host it and accept your sister's offer. Done and done. After all, she is my Matron of Honor. I told her she could ask my sister to help but instead she said with an attitude that we could just tell her where to be and when and she would be there. Whatever, she can do what she wants, I'm not going to get upset about it. But you ARE upset about it. Otherwise you wouldn't have brought it up. Decline her offer to throw you a party and accept your sister's offer. She just happens to be the usher's girlfriend who dropped out yesterday. She told a good friend of mine that she was mad at me for not letting her plan the bachelorette party and now her boyfriend drops out of the wedding? Hmmm…. I guess when you’re planning a wedding, you really find out things about people you never knew.

     

    Any advice? Any similar experiences? To me this is just childish and crazy. You don’t back out of wedding less then a month before because you didn’t get your way on something that small. That messes everything up for everyone else. Sorry this is such a long vent but if you read it all, thanks! 

    I'm sorry this is stressing you out, but honestly, I would let it go for your own sanity. The usher/helper couple seem really immature and I would not get sucked into any drama they create. The more you let it upset you, the more you get sucked in. This is a non-issue if you just ignore their antics and let them be dramatic elsewhere.
    Yes all the helpers volunteered. They are either family or close friends and volunteered without being asked at all. 

    As far as the usher that didn't show. My FI hasn't been able to get in touch with him in two months so he doesn't even know if he will be there. He's kind of disappeared. It's a tough situation because he got married last year (the usher of course) and left his wife and then got back together with her. Each time he gets back together with her, he feels the need to hide it so he disappears so no one will know, although we all do so he's become very unreliable. My FI asked him to be an usher before he started this. I didn't decide to replace him, my FI did. 

    I did decline the helper's offer to plan the party, I was just pointing that out to make a point later.

    I just needed to vent. I'm not distraught or anything. I'm just a little frustrated. 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • itzMS said:

    Our wedding is next month, November 2nd. Our parents have been wonderful. My daughter is my Maid of Honor, my sister is my Matron of Honor and I have two other bridesmaids. They've all purchased everything, have it and have been great help. I also have five helpers for DIY projects, set up, break down and other things that I need help with on the day of. All but one have been awesome. My FI's dad is his Best Man and he has three other groomsmen plus two ushers. Three of them have been great, the other 3 not so much.

     

    My FI met with them yesterday to purchase their attire. We've already purchased the groomsmen’s’ ties because they were custom made. Our wedding is pretty laid back so the guys are just wearing white dress shirts, ties, dress khakis and casual dress shoes. One of the groomsmen didn't show up yesterday but did send my FI a text a couple hours before to let him know an emergency came up. No big deal, we can work with that since they are getting their attire from a local store off the rack and had plenty of everything. One of the ushers was a no show and couldn't be contacted. We still haven't heard from him at all. During shopping the usher that showed up asked why my FI didn't order him a tie. My FI already let both the ushers know that they would be wearing brown ties and if they didn't have one he would buy them one. He also told the ushers that they could wear whatever white dress shirts, dress khakis and casual dress shoes they had because he wasn't concerned about them matching the groomsmen perfectly and didn’t want them to have to spend too much. When the usher asked about the tie, my FI reminded him that he was going to be wearing a brown tie and if he didn't have one my FI would get him one. The usher didn't say anything else about it. Last night, 4 hours after they finished shopping, My FI got a text from that usher cussing him out because he thought it was rude that he wasn't getting a tie like the groomsmen and letting us know we could find another usher. He also said that if we wanted him and his girlfriend to come to the wedding that was fine but if not they wished us well. My FI texted him and tried to call him with no response. He still hasn't gotten a response today. My FI has been so upset and worried because he thought this guy was a good friend. He doesn’t really know what to do. He has other friends he can ask but he doesn’t want them to feel like a second thought. My brother in law is stepping in as an usher for the one who was a no show. My FI actually wanted him to be an usher to begin with but he’s in law enforcement school so sometimes he has class on Saturday and he couldn’t commit at the time because he didn’t know his schedule.

     

    My helper who hasn't been a part of anything or really responded to anything regarding the wedding decided to take it upon herself to plan my bachelorette party all by herself. Sorry, NO, that's my sister's thing and my sister has been very excited about it. After all, she is my Matron of Honor. I told her she could ask my sister to help but instead she said with an attitude that we could just tell her where to be and when and she would be there. Whatever, she can do what she wants, I'm not going to get upset about it. She just happens to be the usher's girlfriend who dropped out yesterday. She told a good friend of mine that she was mad at me for not letting her plan the bachelorette party and now her boyfriend drops out of the wedding? Hmmm…. I guess when you’re planning a wedding, you really find out things about people you never knew.

     

    Any advice? Any similar experiences? To me this is just childish and crazy. You don’t back out of wedding less then a month before because you didn’t get your way on something that small. That messes everything up for everyone else. Sorry this is such a long vent but if you read it all, thanks! 

    Why did the ushers have to go shopping if they can wear whatever khakis, white shirt, and tie that they want? That's a non-issue.

    I do think it's kind of odd to not let all of the guys wear the same tie, but again, non-issue.

    Thankfully, you don't need ushers...so that's a non-issue too.

    What is a "helper"? Are you paying them? If not, they are doing setup and cleanup for you out of the kindness of their hearts. Total non-issue.

    Maybe the "helper" was just, you know, trying to be nice by offering you a bachelorette party? Hopefully, you responded with "Oh, thank you so much for thinking of me, Katie, but Sister is already planning a bachelorette for me". If you didn't say something like that, then I can understand why she's miffed.

    The ushers didn't have to go, they wanted to. The tie issue was FI decision and really is a non issue. He wanted some difference between the groomsmen and ushers. We actually do need ushers in our situation because of the set up of the venue. 

    I didn't say that the helpers were an issue. My point of saying anything about the one girl is to bring up a point of how she is. I would say she wasn't just trying to be nice by telling me exactly what we were doing and demanding everyone come to her house which is an hour away, pay outrageous prizes for what she planned and not going to my sister about any of it all after I asked her to. I did politely tell her thanks and that she was more then welcome to ask my sister if she could help but that my sister was already planning something.  

    My point was neither of them had any reason to cause such drama. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • IloveshanejIloveshanej member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited October 2013
    I can't believe this is over a tie! Your FI should have bought enough for all his guys, whether they be ushers or groomsmen.
    He wanted there to be some difference between what the ushers and groomsmen were wearing. He offered to buy him a tie even after the usher said previously that a brown tie was just fine with him and that he had one. All of this was brought on by the usher who was being a child. My FI did everything he could to resolve the issue. 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Why do your ushers need to purchase any special clothes?  I don't consider ushers to be part of the WP and therefore you shouldn't be dictating their choice of clothes.  And now that you've replaced an usher, this friend will see that he is replaceable in your FI's life and probably won't be around much more anyway.  I agree this couple is sounding very immature, but there was no need to replace the usher who dropped out.

    Also, I hope you are paying these helpers.

    As I stated before the ushers didn't have to go, they wanted to. They asked what to wear and didn't have a problem with it until this situation happened. 

    I explained the situation about the replaced usher and he hasn't been in our life for over 2 months. I guess it was a bad decision on my FI's part to ask him to be an usher. 

    I'm also not paying my helpers because they have offered to help, I didn't asked. They are my close friends and family. I have even asked to pay them and they wouldn't hear of it. They are doing things for us because they love and care about us, not for money.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • IloveshanejIloveshanej member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited October 2013
    Double post.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I really am failing to see the drama here. I totally get that it's close to your wedding and everything seems like a big deal.

    No bride in history didn't marry her FI because an usher didn't show up, or because a "helper" wasn't helping. You'll be fine.

     

     

    Focus on your FI and how much you love him, and just let go of the other stuff.

  • itzMS said:

    I really am failing to see the drama here. I totally get that it's close to your wedding and everything seems like a big deal.

    No bride in history didn't marry her FI because an usher didn't show up, or because a "helper" wasn't helping. You'll be fine.

     

     

    Focus on your FI and how much you love him, and just let go of the other stuff.

    Because we are having to scramble to find people and we lost what we thought were two good friends. It's kind of frustrating and upsetting. Sorry to vent. Damn. Being somewhat helpful and showing a little sensitivity instead of picking apart every insignificant part of every post would be nice. I'm not asking for rainbow farts and sparkly sunshine in each response but damn. It's like some of you have never been stressed, upset, frustrated or needed to vent. I will focus and have focused on my FI, I was worried about him. That was mainly the reason for my post. Shit!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • itzMS said:

    I really am failing to see the drama here. I totally get that it's close to your wedding and everything seems like a big deal.

    No bride in history didn't marry her FI because an usher didn't show up, or because a "helper" wasn't helping. You'll be fine.

     

     

    Focus on your FI and how much you love him, and just let go of the other stuff.

    Because we are having to scramble to find people and we lost what we thought were two good friends. It's kind of frustrating and upsetting. Sorry to vent. Damn. Being somewhat helpful and showing a little sensitivity instead of picking apart every insignificant part of every post would be nice. I'm not asking for rainbow farts and sparkly sunshine in each response but damn. It's like some of you have never been stressed, upset, frustrated or needed to vent. I will focus and have focused on my FI, I was worried about him. That was mainly the reason for my post. Shit!
    But why are you having to scramble to find people?

    Also, we are just pointing out that what you (and your FI) think is a huge stressful thing really isn't. Yes, we have all been stressed and upset and frazzled during wedding planning.  But now that a few of us have been through it we can tell you that the things you stress over are really unimportant and not worth it.

    If you are down an usher then just have a groomsman fill in.

    And it sucks to lose people who you thought were friends but it is always best to move on because you are generally better without them.

  • Yea, I guess I just wouldn't let this stress you out. You are in control of whether or not you let this get to you.

    You don't need ushers for your wedding to be successful. People know how to sit down. If it makes you feel any better, my officiant's house flooded the day before our wedding. We had no idea what we were going do - he was integral to us actually getting married and it was WAY too late to call 170 people. We figured out a back-up plan. It ended up being fine. Technically you don't even need a back up plan for something like this, so you're fine.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
  • itzMS said:

    I really am failing to see the drama here. I totally get that it's close to your wedding and everything seems like a big deal.

    No bride in history didn't marry her FI because an usher didn't show up, or because a "helper" wasn't helping. You'll be fine.

     

     

    Focus on your FI and how much you love him, and just let go of the other stuff.

    Because we are having to scramble to find people and we lost what we thought were two good friends. It's kind of frustrating and upsetting. Sorry to vent. Damn. Being somewhat helpful and showing a little sensitivity instead of picking apart every insignificant part of every post would be nice. I'm not asking for rainbow farts and sparkly sunshine in each response but damn. It's like some of you have never been stressed, upset, frustrated or needed to vent. I will focus and have focused on my FI, I was worried about him. That was mainly the reason for my post. Shit!
    But why are you having to scramble to find people?

    Also, we are just pointing out that what you (and your FI) think is a huge stressful thing really isn't. Yes, we have all been stressed and upset and frazzled during wedding planning.  But now that a few of us have been through it we can tell you that the things you stress over are really unimportant and not worth it.

    If you are down an usher then just have a groomsman fill in.

    And it sucks to lose people who you thought were friends but it is always best to move on because you are generally better without them.
     
    This is my second marriage so I've been through it too but it doesn't make it less stressful. Things probably won't matter after everything but it would be nice to vent a little in the moment when I'm stressed. That's all I'm saying. I do agree that it is probably best for us to move on from those we thought were friends because we mostly definitely will be better without them but it still hurts at first. 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Yea, I guess I just wouldn't let this stress you out. You are in control of whether or not you let this get to you.

    You don't need ushers for your wedding to be successful. People know how to sit down. If it makes you feel any better, my officiant's house flooded the day before our wedding. We had no idea what we were going do - he was integral to us actually getting married and it was WAY too late to call 170 people. We figured out a back-up plan. It ended up being fine. Technically you don't even need a back up plan for something like this, so you're fine.
    I guess it's just my personality. I am very type A and a perfectionist to a fault. It's not so much about having ushers as much as it is getting hurt by finding out who we thought were friends aren't. It will pass and so will the stress but right now I'm stressed and hurt. I have no one to vent to. That's why I can here. 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards