stupid things your SO says.

SJM7538 · October 2013

so someone in the "stupid ideas your FH came up with" thread mentioned starting a stupid things your FH says thread. I thought this had the potential to be kind of funny. And I could use some laughs... the wedding is 10 days away and I'm getting anxious but also tired from trying to get ahead of the game at work before leaving for two weeks.

So here is mine:

I came from Target on Sunday and my fiance says "what is that?"

I said - "It's waterproof mascara for the wedding."

His response - "Why did you buy that. Is it supposed to rain that day?"

All I could do was laugh at him.

bakerie · October 2013

The day after the wedding MIL gave me a bracelet with my new monogram on it. I showed it to H and I guess he doesn't know how monograms work because he said "Oh no, she did it backwards."

NavyBlue143 · October 2013

My H made cookies earlier this week, and stored them in a ziploc bag. He told me to save the bag because he was going to make more. I asked him why he didn't use the cookie jar. "I don't know where it is."

Dude. It sits on the kitchen counter in plain effing sight every day! It isn't in Tibet!

climbingsingle · October 2013

These are cracking me up!

I can't think of one. Damn! It'll come to me.

SJM7538 · October 2013

My fiance had his suit for the wedding custom made. It was more expensive than my dress. I have to admit... it is really nice. And his mom paid for it so I couldn't really object.

He says to me... "I'm going to look so good at our wedding. ALL the ladies in attendance are going to want to marry me."

That warranted and eyeroll and a me pouring a glass of wine.

SJM7538 · October 2013

My H made cookies earlier this week, and stored them in a ziploc bag. He told me to save the bag because he was going to make more. I asked him why he didn't use the cookie jar. "I don't know where it is." Dude. It sits on the kitchen counter in plain effing sight every day! It isn't in Tibet!

This just made me laugh out loud. Very loud.

banana468 · October 2013

This is what happens when you get married:

As DH and I are shopping -
Me: I want to get a new pair of skinny jeans.
DH: If you wear them will they make you skinny?

itzMS · October 2013

My husband always asks me solely out if habit "So...what do we have going on this week/weekend?"

Dude. We have a shared Google calendar for exactly this reason.

ranzzo · October 2013

On Sunday we couldn't decide what we wanted for Chinese takeout. I told him let's just get a large order of X and two small orders of Y and Z. He seemed confused but ordered. When the food was delivered and I was setting the table and taking the food out of the bag, H's eyes got really big and he yelled "Oh, I've never had Chinese food like they do in the movies before!" Meaning the takeout boxes. We usually order combos that come in a Styrofoam box. It made me laugh.

smalfrie19 · October 2013

The other day I told FI that I was craving Papa Murphy's pizza for dinner and so when he got home..I asked him what he wanted for dinner..and he goes "I thought you said we were having Papa Murphy's?" I looked at him and just shook my head...its not like my preferences are the end all be all of dinner decisions...

SJM7538 · October 2013

Whenever we order out for dinner the same thing happens. I ask my fiance what he wants and he says he doesn't care and its my choice. But then every place I suggest he says "I'm not in the mood for that." Yet refuses to offer any suggestions.

ranzzo · October 2013

SJM7538 said:

Whenever we order out for dinner the same thing happens. I ask my fiance what he wants and he says he doesn't care and its my choice. But then every place I suggest he says "I'm not in the mood for that." Yet refuses to offer any suggestions.

This is actually me. He offers suggestions and I say "no, I don't want that," until he hits on a place that sounds good. I'm bad about coming up with ideas.

harper0813 · October 2013

A red car opened their door into my door and didn't leave a note. The car next to mine in our apartment' sparking garage is red. I asked my husband what I should do, and he sent the following texts (jokingly, but still):

"Leave a note with a picture of a knife and blood. That way you're not accusing them, but setting an expectation for consequences if they are guilty."
"For real, key their car."
"Take off enough paint so if they hit your car it doesn't leave red paint."

allispain · October 2013

Whenever someone asks DH, "What's up?" he answers with, "A preposition." This includes when he calls me, I see it's him on my phone, and I answer by saying, "Hey, what's up?" because I'm at work and I'm busy and want to cut to the chase. The first time, okay, that was kind of funny in a dorky way. But four and a half years later? Please just answer the dang question and tell me why you're calling!

grumbledore · October 2013

SJM7538 said:

Whenever we order out for dinner the same thing happens. I ask my fiance what he wants and he says he doesn't care and its my choice. But then every place I suggest he says "I'm not in the mood for that." Yet refuses to offer any suggestions.

I am so guilty of this. I do it all the time actually. I do it with what to watch on tv too. Oops.

thelastdreamer · October 2013

Last night I told FI I was getting a french manicure today. He said "As opposed to a British manicure?" I laughed because I thought he was just joking. He wasn't. He legit didn't know a french manicure was a thing.

Belle2188 · October 2013

SJM7538 said:

Whenever we order out for dinner the same thing happens. I ask my fiance what he wants and he says he doesn't care and its my choice. But then every place I suggest he says "I'm not in the mood for that." Yet refuses to offer any suggestions.

So our conversation starts like this, except I'm the one that says I don't care, but then FI complains that I never decide, so I suggest things to appease him, but then he isn't in the mood for anything I suggest. Same thing happens with TV shows and movies. SO annoying.

He also likes to tell me about how we've "evened out" over the years. Apparently, when we first met I was way out of his league and people would look at us and wonder what I was doing with him. Now that several years have passed, I'm "still beautiful," but I used to be "like unbelievably hot," and since he's been working out a lot and makes a lot more money now we're about even but he may be slightly ahead. Are you kidding me, FI? I can't possibly roll my eyes hard enough for that little gem.

Teddy917 · October 2013

I can't think of anything stupid. But he did say something cute the other day. Well it was more the way he said it. He was up late in our game room playing a video game and had told me that he probably would just sleep in there so he wouldn't wake me up. 5:30 in the morning (I get up at 6:30, so if it hadn't been so cute, it would've driven me nuts) he comes in and says in this voice that reminded me of a little kid, "Honey, can I sleep with you?" He apparently was having a hard time sleeping on the floor. It was adorable.

GypsyWife_ · October 2013

He always says the cheesiest lines this was his latest. "Your wardrobe needs to be updated. How about trying me on?"

cowgirl8238 · October 2013

grumbledore said:

SJM7538 said:

Whenever we order out for dinner the same thing happens. I ask my fiance what he wants and he says he doesn't care and its my choice. But then every place I suggest he says "I'm not in the mood for that." Yet refuses to offer any suggestions.

I am so guilty of this. I do it all the time actually. I do it with what to watch on tv too. Oops.

My FI and I BOTH do this...it can take us upwards of an hour to deciede where to eat!

SJM7538 · October 2013

I came home last night after essentially a 13.5 hour day. He had set up the new toaster oven and put it right between the microwave and the dish rack. So basically there was no open counter space left.

I asked him "why didn't you put it where the toaster is?"

He says - "Well then where will the toaster go?"

I said - "In the closet because we have a toaster oven now."

He says "Well then how will we make toast?"

I said - "In the toaster oven!!!"

He says - "Oh well that will take too long."

SJM7538 · October 2013

Belle2188 said:

SJM7538 said:

Whenever we order out for dinner the same thing happens. I ask my fiance what he wants and he says he doesn't care and its my choice. But then every place I suggest he says "I'm not in the mood for that." Yet refuses to offer any suggestions.
So our conversation starts like this, except I'm the one that says I don't care, but then FI complains that I never decide, so I suggest things to appease him, but then he isn't in the mood for anything I suggest. Same thing happens with TV shows and movies. SO annoying.

He also likes to tell me about how we've "evened out" over the years. Apparently, when we first met I was way out of his league and people would look at us and wonder what I was doing with him. Now that several years have passed, I'm "still beautiful," but I used to be "like unbelievably hot," and since he's been working out a lot and makes a lot more money now we're about even but he may be slightly ahead. Are you kidding me, FI? I can't possibly roll my eyes hard enough for that little gem.

I love this! Our fiance's should hang out because mine thinks he's the hot one in the relationship.

Belle2188 · October 2013

SJM7538 said:

Belle2188 said:

SJM7538 said:

Whenever we order out for dinner the same thing happens. I ask my fiance what he wants and he says he doesn't care and its my choice. But then every place I suggest he says "I'm not in the mood for that." Yet refuses to offer any suggestions.
So our conversation starts like this, except I'm the one that says I don't care, but then FI complains that I never decide, so I suggest things to appease him, but then he isn't in the mood for anything I suggest. Same thing happens with TV shows and movies. SO annoying.

He also likes to tell me about how we've "evened out" over the years. Apparently, when we first met I was way out of his league and people would look at us and wonder what I was doing with him. Now that several years have passed, I'm "still beautiful," but I used to be "like unbelievably hot," and since he's been working out a lot and makes a lot more money now we're about even but he may be slightly ahead. Are you kidding me, FI? I can't possibly roll my eyes hard enough for that little gem.

I love this! Our fiance's should hang out because mine thinks he's the hot one in the relationship.

Haha I'm glad I'm not the only one with this problem! Unbelievable, aren't they?

SJM7538 · October 2013

SJM7538 said:

Belle2188 said:

SJM7538 said:

Whenever we order out for dinner the same thing happens. I ask my fiance what he wants and he says he doesn't care and its my choice. But then every place I suggest he says "I'm not in the mood for that." Yet refuses to offer any suggestions.
So our conversation starts like this, except I'm the one that says I don't care, but then FI complains that I never decide, so I suggest things to appease him, but then he isn't in the mood for anything I suggest. Same thing happens with TV shows and movies. SO annoying.

He also likes to tell me about how we've "evened out" over the years. Apparently, when we first met I was way out of his league and people would look at us and wonder what I was doing with him. Now that several years have passed, I'm "still beautiful," but I used to be "like unbelievably hot," and since he's been working out a lot and makes a lot more money now we're about even but he may be slightly ahead. Are you kidding me, FI? I can't possibly roll my eyes hard enough for that little gem.

I love this! Our fiance's should hang out because mine thinks he's the hot one in the relationship.

Haha I'm glad I'm not the only one with this problem! Unbelievable, aren't they?

Ridiculous. lol. I just went home for my lunch break and I got a package in the mail. It was the monogram R that I bought to put up one one of the shelves in our living room. Our last name, well my soon to be last name will begin with R.

He says... "What is the R for?"

Face palm.

FutureMrsN3312 · October 2013

SJM7538 said:

SJM7538 said:

Belle2188 said:

SJM7538 said:

Whenever we order out for dinner the same thing happens. I ask my fiance what he wants and he says he doesn't care and its my choice. But then every place I suggest he says "I'm not in the mood for that." Yet refuses to offer any suggestions.
So our conversation starts like this, except I'm the one that says I don't care, but then FI complains that I never decide, so I suggest things to appease him, but then he isn't in the mood for anything I suggest. Same thing happens with TV shows and movies. SO annoying.

He also likes to tell me about how we've "evened out" over the years. Apparently, when we first met I was way out of his league and people would look at us and wonder what I was doing with him. Now that several years have passed, I'm "still beautiful," but I used to be "like unbelievably hot," and since he's been working out a lot and makes a lot more money now we're about even but he may be slightly ahead. Are you kidding me, FI? I can't possibly roll my eyes hard enough for that little gem.

I love this! Our fiance's should hang out because mine thinks he's the hot one in the relationship.

Haha I'm glad I'm not the only one with this problem! Unbelievable, aren't they?

Ridiculous. lol. I just went home for my lunch break and I got a package in the mail. It was the monogram R that I bought to put up one one of the shelves in our living room. Our last name, well my soon to be last name will begin with R.

He says... "What is the R for?"

Face palm.

We were in Michael's last night and by the register they have notepads and thank you cards. Right on top were both with the letter N on them. I said oh its a little early but wonder if I should get them. He goes why N? REALLY?!? I said so you're ok with me hyphenating or keeping my last name for work? Then it dawned him. DUH FI DUH lol

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