Stuck between a ROCK & another ROCK...lol

Re: Stuck between a ROCK & another ROCK...lol

• Maggie0829 member

  

  October 2013

  BlueEyes2022 said:

  So yes I'm completely stuck!!  I have no idea what to do at all and really need some advise.

  So one of my very best friends got engaged last year and literally a week later she asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding now since she's a very best friend more like a sister I of course said YES!!  And she's also asked if my son could be the ring bearer in the wedding and of course my Huni and I said YES to that as well.  Well last night I got a call from my parents that my sister and her fiancé set a date for their wedding and it's the SAME DAY!!!  Now my sister hasn't asked me to be in the wedding yet but what in the world do I do if she does!?!?  We've already committed to my best friends wedding, but at the same time it's my sister of all people.  So no matter what I decide someone is going to be mad.  But again my sister hasn't asked me to be in her wedding but I would assume that I'll be asked since we are sisters.  But either way one of the weddings I wont be able to make it to, how does a girl decide!?!?

  It shouldn't matter if your sister asks you to be a BM or not.  If you are close with your sister I say that her wedding is the priority.  It sucks but if it were me and I had to choose between my best friend and my sister, I would choose my sister without a seconds hesitation.

  
  

  As for your sister's wedding, have they booked their venue?  If they haven't booked anything then they really haven't set a date.  Wait until your sister has booked a place before saying anything to your friend.  You don't want to say something only to find out later that your sister and her FI had to change their date because they couldn't find an open venue.

  
  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  October 2013

  Do you mind not using colored text?  It's very hard on the eyes.
  
  Let your friend know that your sister chose the same date and let her know of this potential conflict.  Also let your sister know that you made this commitment before she announced her date.  (She can't blame you for not being able to read her mind.)  Maybe you can attend at least part of each wedding if they overlap, or maybe your friend and your sister will hold their weddings at different times of the day so you can do both.  But at the very least, I think you owe them both the courtesy of letting them know that this has happened.
  

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• doeydo member

  

  October 2013

  I would let both brides know what is going on and see if one of them can change their date (your sister should have consulted her VIPs before booking a date as a venue) or maybe your friend will be understanding and say you should go to your sister's wedding.  Which one are you closest to and will be close to in the future?

  
  

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• manateehugger member

  

  October 2013

  scribe95 said:

  To me it doesn't matter if your sister wants you to be a bridesmaid. If you are close at all youneed to be at her wedding - even as a guest. I would call your sister and say, "Mom and Dad said you have a date. Congratulations. Do you have a venue yet? I'm only asking because I agreed to be in X's wedding, along with son X. If your date is definitive then I need to let her know that I won't be able to make it."
  

  What Scribe said. 

  

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• Viczaesar member

  

  October 2013

  BlueEyes2022 said:

  So yes I'm completely stuck!!  I have no idea what to do at all and really need some advise.

  So one of my very best friends got engaged last year and literally a week later she asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding now since she's a very best friend more like a sister I of course said YES!!  And she's also asked if my son could be the ring bearer in the wedding and of course my Huni and I said YES to that as well.  Well last night I got a call from my parents that my sister and her fiancé set a date for their wedding and it's the SAME DAY!!!  Now my sister hasn't asked me to be in the wedding yet but what in the world do I do if she does!?!?  We've already committed to my best friends wedding, but at the same time it's my sister of all people.  So no matter what I decide someone is going to be mad.  But again my sister hasn't asked me to be in her wedding but I would assume that I'll be asked since we are sisters.  But either way one of the weddings I wont be able to make it to, how does a girl decide!?!?

  1.  Please don't post in blue.
  2.  Huni?  Seriously? 
  3.  I would never miss my sister's wedding.
  

  
  
  
  

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• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  October 2013

  BlueEyes2022 said:

  So yes I'm completely stuck!!  I have no idea what to do at all and really need some advise.

  So one of my very best friends got engaged last year and literally a week later she asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding now since she's a very best friend more like a sister I of course said YES!!  And she's also asked if my son could be the ring bearer in the wedding and of course my Huni and I said YES to that as well.  Well last night I got a call from my parents that my sister and her fiancé set a date for their wedding and it's the SAME DAY!!!  Now my sister hasn't asked me to be in the wedding yet but what in the world do I do if she does!?!?  We've already committed to my best friends wedding, but at the same time it's my sister of all people.  So no matter what I decide someone is going to be mad.  But again my sister hasn't asked me to be in her wedding but I would assume that I'll be asked since we are sisters.  But either way one of the weddings I wont be able to make it to, how does a girl decide!?!?

  This is one of the reasons why you do not set a date w/o talking to your VIPs first. . . oh yeah, and signing a contract with your ceremony and reception venues!
  
  I will never understand why ppl get engaged and then pick an arbitrary date out of their butts w/o doing the things I mentioned above 1st.
  
  OP, talk with your sister and let her know ASAP that you are already committed to a wedding on that date.  If your sister hasn't signed any contracts, then she doesn't actually have a date set in stone and she can change her date, if she is at all reasonable.  If she is not, then you have a Sophie's Choice situation, and I am very sorry
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

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• delujm0 member

  

  October 2013

  it was kind of rude for your sister to not check with you before setting a date (assuming that you are a VIP to her), but there's nothing you can do here.  you need to make a choice.  it happens.

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