Plus-one etiquette?

Re: Plus-one etiquette?

• ac411020 member

  

  October 2013

  You don't need to include plus ones for truly single guests, but anyone who considers themselves in a relationship should be invited with their significant other.

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• mlg78 member

  

  October 2013

  What akosakow said is correct.  Also, if you get some declines, it's nice to extend a +1 after the fact to single guests so they can bring one at that time.  They may, they may not, but it's very nice to offer.

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• lauracutter member

  

  October 2013

  Thanks!

  

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• allispain member

  

  October 2013

  Also (this was something I did not know until I started reading these forums), if anyone you are inviting is in a relationship, you don't give them a plus one. Instead, you address the invitation to them and their SO - by name. As in "Ms. My Friend and Mr. Her Boyfriend." Plus ones (when you address the invitation to "Ms. My Friend and Guest") are only for truly single guests. As PPs have said, you do not need to extend a plus one to your guests, though doing so is often considered a courtesy.

  
  

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• huskypuppy14 member

  

  October 2013

  lauracutter said:

  What is the proper etiquette of plus-ones?  I know when it comes to a married or engaged couple you invited them both, no question, but what about friends who are single?  We were planning on giving plus-ones to friends that we know are in serious relationships, but what about everyone else? The friends we are inviting all know each other, so I figure this shouldn't be an issue. Our budget/ venue can't accommodate a date for EVERYONE and I don't want to have to cut anyone from the list, but I'd like to know the general rules.   

  You need to invite everyone who considers themselves in a relationship, by their terms, not yours.  How do you define a "serious" relationship?  Anyone who is truly single, ie. no bf or gf, does not need to be invited with a guest.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• huskypuppy14 member

  

  October 2013

  Also, budget or venue is not an excuse.  I think it's important to plan your guest list first, figure out what you can afford, and then get a venue.  I also think it's smart to include plus ones for every potential single guest in the original guest count, that way you are prepared if they get a SO before your invitations go out.  If they are single, it's up to you whether you want to give them a guest.  But if you plan your list with say 30 single friends with no plus ones, and 15 of those friends get a SO, then you need to extend your count by 15. If you included them in the beginning, there is no problem. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• ZazzlesCooper member

  

  October 2013

  laurynm84 said:

  Also, budget or venue is not an excuse.  I think it's important to plan your guest list first, figure out what you can afford, and then get a venue.  I also think it's smart to include plus ones for every potential single guest in the original guest count, that way you are prepared if they get a SO before your invitations go out.  If they are single, it's up to you whether you want to give them a guest.  But if you plan your list with say 30 single friends with no plus ones, and 15 of those friends get a SO, then you need to extend your count by 15. If you included them in the beginning, there is no problem. 

  All of this.

  

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• SP29 member

  

  October 2013

  Agree with allispan on the definition of guest + SO and guest + 1. 

  
  

  Just wanted to add, that if you give someone a +1, they are allowed to bring anyone as their +1 (because that's what it means, I am inviting you and someone of your choosing). So, if you do invite a guest and their SO, best to name that SO (as you should), because if that SO can't come but the guest wants to, only the guest would come. But, if you gave them a +1 and the SO couldn't come, technically they would be allowed to bring a friend in place of their SO, even though that is likely not what you intended. 

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• ei34 member

  

  October 2013 edited October 2013

  I did what you're planning to do (married, engaged, and in-relationship guests invited with their SO, singles invited solo).  I made sure to sit everyone with who they knew, so single guests weren't left to make friends with any random table-mates.  It would've been too expensive for me to invite everyone with a guest.  The exception was my wedding party: two of my three bridesmaids were single, and they were invited with a guest, though neither brought one.  They both felt they'd have more fun hanging with the guests they already knew as opposed to having to entertain someone who doesn't really know anyone else.  Whatever you decide, good luck and happy planning!

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