Ring bearer's Age.

Softballgurli2107 · October 2013

My fiancee and I want to include my cousin's son as our ring bearer in our wedding next year. He'll be almost 3 years old (3 months short) by the date of our wedding, but we are not sure if he'll be old enough to do it aka able to follow direction and not be overwhelmed. Does anyone have any suggestions?

mlg78 · October 2013

I think that's pretty young for a ring bearer. I think age 4+ is better. Will you be okay if he has a complete meltdown? Or what if someone has to walk him down the aisle?

WildMagelet · October 2013

The general rule of thumb seems to be more based on maturity versus chronological age. If he's old enough for you to be able to explain it to him and have him understand what he's supposed to do and why it's important then it should be fine.

Kids are cute, but if you pick one too young you risk him backing out, freaking out, or not doing exactly what you want him to do. We're considering asking one younger to be our FG because we want to include her in the BP, but if she decides she doesn't want to, freaks out or doesn't do a "perfect job" then it won't be the end of the world for us and it certainly won't ruin the wedding/marriage like some overdramatic brides have posted in the past.

Softballgurli2107 · October 2013

He isn't really the meltdown type of kid, but I would be fine if he didn't want to walk down the aisle. He'd be cute in his little suit and we could get a few pictures with him.

wishin4ring · October 2013

The question to ask yourself would be, if he kind of goes off on his own while walking down the aisle, getting laughs in the process, would YOU and your FI be okay with that?

If he's shy, you probably wouldn't be able to get him to go down the aisle on wedding day. But if he's a bit more outgoing, he's going to love it.

Most 3 year olds are pretty capable of following directions to walk down an aisle, and you can have him practice a few times during the rehearsal. One of the easier things that might help is if you have a FG or Jr Bridesmaid that's slightly older that he could walk down with, or if one or both of his parents are in the party, he can walk in front of or next to. Just a few ideas.

Jen4948 · October 2013

When choosing ring bearers or flower girls, I'd ask the following:

1) Is s/he old enough to get down the aisle and back without help?
2) Does s/he understand and will s/he remember what s/he is being asked to do?
3) Will s/he have a meltdown or refuse to do it on the day itself?

If the answers to any of the above are no, I'd consider just having that person in photos.

erinlin25 · October 2013

It depends on the kid really, so discuss it with his parents and I am sure they would honest if they can handle it. My 3yo nephew was our ring bearer and was excited about it. It was a short aisle and the plan was for my brother to escort him (and then sit with him and my parents/not stand up front) but he wanted to do it all by himself. He did awesome at the rehearsal and the day off got half way down the aisle, got a little spooked so he just turned around 1/2 way down the aisle and sat down. He did not cry or freak out, just sat there. LOL. It was actually cute and made me laugh which calmed by nerves, and my mom just said it's OK Jack come sit with Grammy and he popped up and walked the rest of the way. After the ceremony he was still so proud that he did it.

short story long, some 3yo can handle, not all will; so as long as you are cool things maybe will not be perfect, and his parents are on board, then its worth a shot. For me, I could have asked someone older but he would just be a prop filling a space on my wedding party roster. My nephew was the most important person so it was either him or no ring bearer. And he did a great job for a 3 yr old!

HappyAnjel · October 2013

Our daughter will be a little over 2 years when we get married, I plan on her being the flower girl. But if she has an absolute meltdown, has to be escorted down, or doesn't want to walk down the aisle at all, it wouldn't be the end of the world to us either.

AddieCake · October 2013

I feel anyone under 3 (and by 3, I mean pushing 4) is too young to be in a wedding.

melbelleup · October 2013

Softballgurli2107 said:

My fiancee and I want to include my cousin's son as our ring bearer in our wedding next year. He'll be almost 3 years old (3 months short) by the date of our wedding, but we are not sure if he'll be old enough to do it aka able to follow direction and not be overwhelmed. Does anyone have any suggestions?

A little late on this but... I'm having my nephew in ours and he will be 2 1/2 come our wedding. We have a rehearsal so we'll practice then to see what will work. Most likely my SIL will walk down the aisle with him either in her arm or holding his hand.

vmj23 · October 2013

my nephew's have been in wedding at that age and even younger. my sis in law was also in the wedding and was able to guide them down the aisle. For one wedding that I wasn't attending (not someone I was close with) I went and sat on end so once he got down I could grab and him brought him out to watch him until the ceremony was over, which worked out well.

Softballgurli2107 · October 2013

Thank you all so much! We are gonna ask his mom and dad if they think he'll be up to it, but we are okay if he turns tail and runs too. We are just excited to have a little someone who so special to us as a past of our big day.

katieg520 · October 2013

I, personally, think it's cute when there's a really young RB or FG because they just do what they want and almost steal the "show." My RB is going to be 6 at the time of the wedding, but both of my flower girls are only 2 years old. If they don't make it down the aisle, no big deal.

GrrArgh · October 2013

My nephew was 3 when he was the ring bearer for our cousins wedding (bride side.) A few of my Aunts were side eyeing my sister when she sat on the grooms side for the ceremony... right up until she had to snatch her son up because he was about to topple some of the candle stands over and set fire to the pastor! (I wish I was joking...) It really ends up depending on the maturity level and attention span of the child. Keep in mind it's not just about getting down the aisle, often times the make or break point is the duration of the ceremony.

We are having 2 flower girls and 2 ring bearers all in the age bracket of 3-5 years old and a 2 year old of random adorableness. My fiance and I each have a niece and nephew (brother sister combos) of appropriate age and the 2 year old is a nephew of my fiance. We didn't want to have to choose between them so said "heck can we have them all?" We love them all dearly and want them to join us in that special day. We expect meltdowns, and hilarity to ensue, but we're OK with that. Ultimately, it's about the marriage not the wedding. At the end of the day we're married and our guests have hopefully had a great time. Really what else matters?

Side note: We plan on their being no candle stands near any of the kids!

Ring bearer's Age.

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