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Maybe he should find out where he can get one of those engraved tree stumps.

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Carolyn:

My girlfriend and I celebrated our second anniversary last weekend. She spent several hundred dollars on a gift for me, which I really appreciate. 

I did not give her a gift because, as a new homeowner, I am somewhat strapped for cash. When I realized her disappointment, I apologized for being an idiot and promised to make it up to her when I am more financially stable.

She countered that if I could take two trips for bachelor parties this summer, I had no excuse not to set money aside for her, as well.

Though I started out apologetic, now I’m angry that she is (I feel) telling me how to allocate my money. I also feel pressure to keep apologizing, which I’m tired of doing. What do you think?

Doghouse Blues


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Re: Maybe he should find out where he can get one of those engraved tree stumps.

  • DixieNormous330DixieNormous330 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Gifts are just that. They're gifts. Not obligations. He is in no way obligated to get her anything (though it would be thoughtful if he did). FFS, H has spent more on me and vice versa on any number of holidays/events. 

    Don't keep score if you expect your relationship to last.
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  • PirateBarbiePirateBarbie member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    mrs.conn23 said:

    I did not give her a gift because, as a new homeowner, I am somewhat strapped for cash. When I realized her disappointment, I apologized for being an idiot and promised to make it up to her when I am more financially stable.

    I think her reaction was ridiculous, but his reasoning for doing nothing is lame. Dude could have gotten her a $.99 card at Target  and cooked dinner for her. He could have done something like run her bath and give her a massage. He could have washed her car. He doesn't have to spend millions of dollars to do something nice for their anniversary. 
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  • DixieNormous330DixieNormous330 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    PirateBarbie said:
    I think her reaction was ridiculous, but his reasoning for doing nothing is lame. Dude could have gotten her a $.99 card at Target  and cooked dinner for her. He could have done something like run her bath and give her a massage. He could have washed her car. He doesn't have to spend millions of dollars to do something nice for their anniversary. 
    I don't think a card and dinner would have made a difference to her. If she was freaking out over him going to the two parties she wanted something with monetary value.
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  • PirateBarbiePirateBarbie member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    i2i with Kuus. 

    she didn't bring up the parties until he cried "broke" as an excuse for not doing anything for her. if he did something nice/romantic but low cost for her, and she brought up the money, then sure, she's just being greedy. in this case he did nothing at all. 

    i know i'd be *pissed* if DK spent tons of time and money on planning trips/buying things for himself, but didn't even bother to acknowledge our anniversary. like Kuus said, I'd see it as I'm not a priority to him. 


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  • katieg520katieg520 member
    500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its First Answer
    ReturnOfKuus said:
    The woman is right.  He is clearly telling her where his priorities lie.  I'm not saying he owes her a gift, but saying that he just plain can't afford it because everydamnthing else is more important than she is, well, that's a clear message.  And after two years together, that's not acceptable.
    EXACTLY!!!!!! A man invests where he finds importance. Period.
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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    katieg520 said:



    EXACTLY!!!!!! A man invests where he finds importance. Period.

    Just men, huh?
    �
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    i2i with Barbie and Kuus. 
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  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    It's a dating anniversary, not everyone acknowledges those with gifts or special plans.  My question is what did they do last year?  If they exchanged gifts the previous year then, yes, he should have done something for her.  But if they didn't do anything the previous year then why would expect them to do anything this year?
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