my bridesmaid doesnt want to get her dress where everyone else is

stephhilde1000 · October 2013

Help! One of my bridesmaid does not want to get her dress where everyone else is. I am letting them pick their own style dress in their price range the only thing that I asked is that they do the certain color and length. I am in her wedding and bought the dress where she told me to even though I had a bad experience. How do I hand this?

itzMS · October 2013

stephhilde1000 said:

Help! One of my bridesmaid does not want to get her dress where everyone else is. I am letting them pick their own style dress in their price range the only thing that I asked is that they do the certain color and length. I am in her wedding and bought the dress where she told me to even though I had a bad experience. How do I hand this?

Maybe she wants to buy one on Ebay or a preowned site? (I do this for pretty much every wedding I've been in...)

Why does it matter if you've only specified color and length?

KeptInStitches · October 2013

Doesn't matter. If you specified color and length, she can get her dress wherever she wants to.

manateehugger · October 2013

I'm confused here. If you didn't tell her she needed to get a specific dress, why does it matter where she is getting it?

southernbelle0915 · October 2013

Is the situation here that you've specified color and length from a specific store and she doesn't want to purchase from there? As long as the dress is within the budget that she gave you, this isn't her call. It's yours. If she wants to buy a used dress, I see no issue with that at all. Otherwise, you're just letting her know what the decision IS, not asking for opinions.

"Hi Sally - Here's the decision for BM dresses: (designer), (color), (length). You can get whatever you want within those parameters. I know you preferred something else, but this was the best choice for everyone. Thanks for being a good sport."

stephhilde1000 · October 2013

her reasoning is only that she had a bad experience when she was dress shopping at that store and will not do business there. i want them all to do the same store so that they are the same shade. If it is bought somewhere else then the color could be slightly off.

itzMS · October 2013

stephhilde1000 said:
her reasoning is only that she had a bad experience when she was dress shopping at that store and will not do business there. i want them all to do the same store so that they are the same shade. If it is bought somewhere else then the color could be slightly off.

No, it won't matter.

Dye lots are a non-issue.

So long as she's getting the designer you want, let her purchase it where she's comfortable.

Maggie0829 · October 2013

If she is buying the dress from the same designer it does not matter which store she uses. My two BMs bought their dresses from different stores in different states and guess what? The colors matched!

This is a non-issue. Let it go.

manateehugger · October 2013

Dye lots are a thing of the past. Think about it - if you buy a shirt at Target in NY and I buy the same shirt in STL - they will be the same color.

It's a non-issue. Don't bully her into going somewhere she isn't comfortable over a dress.

KeptInStitches · October 2013

That's a completely valid reason - I have stores I won't give another dime of my money to. Let her go somewhere else and use the same designer.

sarahmarie409 · October 2013

I can understand if it was one of those generic stores like Alfred Angelo or David's Bridal. I did the same thing: same material, shade, and length other than that go crazy! But I wanted the lightest yellow from AA and their prices are reasonable. However, if all the bridesmaids were getting their dresses from AA and just one wanted to go to david's the shades of light yellow are way way different. Not sure if this is what you meant?

KeptInStitches · October 2013

Why not let her get the dress on ebay, then, if she's able?

stephhilde1000 · October 2013

yes it is davids bridal. i chose them because of all of my bridesmaids being different shapes and sizes and level affordability in the budget. I did not want people to go broke getting a dress or be unhappy with how they look. I have super skinny through plus size maids.

I do not agree with her argument because I am in her wedding 3 months before mine and I just had to order the bm dress from the boutique she chose even though i had extremely bad service when i called to make the appointment and when i was getting fitted. I did it because she is the bride and that is what she wants.

Maggie0829 · October 2013

stephhilde1000 said:

yes it is davids bridal. i chose them because of all of my bridesmaids being different shapes and sizes and level affordability in the budget. I did not want people to go broke getting a dress or be unhappy with how they look. I have super skinny through plus size maids.
I do not agree with her argument because I am in her wedding 3 months before mine and I just had to order the bm dress from the boutique she chose even though i had extremely bad service when i called to make the appointment and when i was getting fitted. I did it because she is the bride and that is what she wants.

Okay so you did what she wanted. You didn't have to. You could have gone elsewhere. That was your choice. I doubt she was holding a gun to your head.

Look, she doesn't even have to order the damn thing through the store. She can get measured and order the dress online if she wants to. Just let her handle it. Tell her the color you picked at DB and then let her figure it out.

msuprincess04 · October 2013

David's Bridal uses computers to color match, so dye lots are precisely the same. I wouldn't worry about it, she could even buy a used one and it would be the same color.

allispain · October 2013

Wait, so is the issue that she doesn't want to buy it from that particular DB store? Or that she doesn't want to buy a dress from DB? If it's the former, then she can just go to a different store, order online, etc. If it's the latter, then that is a bigger issue and one where you may have to put your foot down. While I understand that she may not like that particular brand/store/chain, you could explain to her that this was the best choice given that you have BMs with varying body types and price points and that you appreciate her willingness to still order the dress online so that she doesn't have to go to the store itself if she does not want to.

Maggie0829 · October 2013

Wait, so is the issue that she doesn't want to buy it from that particular DB store? Or that she doesn't want to buy a dress from DB? If it's the former, then she can just go to a different store, order online, etc. If it's the latter, then that is a bigger issue and one where you may have to put your foot down. While I understand that she may not like that particular brand/store/chain, you could explain to her that this was the best choice given that you have BMs with varying body types and price points and that you appreciate her willingness to still order the dress online so that she doesn't have to go to the store itself if she does not want to.

I think the main issue is that OP did what the BM wanted when BM got married but now is pissed because BM is not doing what OP wants.

clg1213 · October 2013

I'm reading the issue as the BM refuses to buy a dress from David's after the OP asked her gals to get a dress of X color from David's. I don't see any mention from the OP of the BM saying she wants to buy the David's-made dress elsewhere....it looks to me like BM wants to buy a different brand

If that's the case, I think the OP is justified in being upset and in reiterating a request that the BM purchase a dress made by DB in the color and length specified. If BM wants to get it from a different store in the DB chain, that should be fine. If she wants a dress from another store/designer, then they need to talk....she won't be fulfilling the basic BM "requirement" of showing up in the agreed upon dress....

Maggie0829 · October 2013

I am reading it as that the BM had a bad experience with that particular store and does not want to go back through them. Not that she doesn't want to buy a dress from DB at all.

OP could you please clarify this? Is it that your BM doesn't want to buy from DB at all or just doesn't want to us the particular DB store you are going through?

itzMS · October 2013

There are honestly thousands of DB dresses on Ebay and other pre-owned sites in every color.

OP, this is such a non-issue. I hate shopping at DB, too. I know my size there, so I always order online to avoid the annoying saleswomen.

katieg520 · October 2013

southernbelle0915 said:

Is the situation here that you've specified color and length from a specific store and she doesn't want to purchase from there? As long as the dress is within the budget that she gave you, this isn't her call. It's yours. If she wants to buy a used dress, I see no issue with that at all. Otherwise, you're just letting her know what the decision IS, not asking for opinions.

"Hi Sally - Here's the decision for BM dresses: (designer), (color), (length). You can get whatever you want within those parameters. I know you preferred something else, but this was the best choice for everyone. Thanks for being a good sport."

Yes!!!!!!!

delujm0 · October 2013

there is some confusion here about the original question...i'll answer it both ways. If the BM simply wants to order online, or on eBay, or from a different physical store, that is fine. All of the David's Bridal dresses in that color will look the same no matter where they are ordered from.

If she refuses to buy ANY David's Bridal dress, then she is out of luck. She either buys the dress that fits your qualifications, or she's no longer in the wedding party. End of story.

Viczaesar · October 2013

katieg520 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Is the situation here that you've specified color and length from a specific store and she doesn't want to purchase from there? As long as the dress is within the budget that she gave you, this isn't her call. It's yours. If she wants to buy a used dress, I see no issue with that at all. Otherwise, you're just letting her know what the decision IS, not asking for opinions.

"Hi Sally - Here's the decision for BM dresses: (designer), (color), (length). You can get whatever you want within those parameters. I know you preferred something else, but this was the best choice for everyone. Thanks for being a good sport."

Yes!!!!!!!

This does not clarify.

WildMagelet · October 2013

Viczaesar said:

katieg520 said:
Yes!!!!!!!

This does not clarify.

katieg520 is not the OP.

NavyBlue143 · October 2013

When my friend got married, we all had different dresses ordered from different DB stores. Mine was used off ebay and was over a year old. Our colors matched. So that whole dye lots thing is a complete lie. Even if you ordered all the dresses at the same time from the same place, you don't know what dresses the warehouse has already made vs which ones have to be made upon receiving your order. There is no way to guarantee that they would all be made at the same time.

Dreamergirl8812 · October 2013

OP isn't coming back is she?

Viczaesar · October 2013

flutterbride2b said:

Viczaesar said:

katieg520 said:
Yes!!!!!!!

This does not clarify.

katieg520 is not the OP.

Ha, well no wonder then!

my bridesmaid doesnt want to get her dress where everyone else is

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