So, my wedding is very small (34 people total, including FI and me, the bridal party, and the officiant who is a friend of ours) and I'm only having 2 attendants, my MOH and one BM. My MOH's mother is throwing me a shower tomorrow, and today I found out that my BM waited too long to get her shift covered at work, so she's going to be late. I admit that late is better than her not being there at all, but the fact that she's known what day and time the shower is going to be since September 18 and she waited until 2 days ago to see if someone can work for her really kind of hurts my feelings. I just feel like my wedding isn't that important to her.
On top of this, some other friends of hers got married on 9/29, and she was not in that wedding but took an entire week off work to participate in all of their wedding events and to spend time with some other friends that were in from out of town for the wedding, and the week after our wedding, she's going to San Diego for a week to see these same friends. So she says she's having to work 12 days in a row to be able to make our wedding work, but our wedding is on a Sunday at 4:30 pm, and the rehearsal is that Saturday at 4:30 pm, and where she works is only open until 3 on Saturdays and 1 on Sundays, so it's not like she's having to take time off for those events, and I haven't asked her to. I'm pretty sure the real reason she's having to work 12 days in a row is because of the week that she took off in September and the week that she's taking off at the beginning of November. The shower tomorrow, at noon, is the only day I've asked her to make sure she's off, and it feels like she just couldn't be bothered. Also, for her friend's wedding 2 weeks ago, she asked one of her coworkers, a sweet little old lady who normally only works Monday-Friday because she's on oxygen, to work for her on Saturday so she could go to that bride's shower, so the fact that she wasn't even in that wedding and she was willing to do that for them just really hurts my feelings.
Plus, my MOH does NOT like my BM, so I'm already dealing with tensions between them, and my MOH and I got in a huge fight the other day over the BM still being in the wedding after some drama we had a couple months ago (I used to work with her, got a better job and left, and she was mad at me for leaving), and I defended my BM as much as I possibly could, and now I feel like I shouldn't have done that because she's not even trying to be there for me. I really feel like I'm going to cry, and I don't even know if I really have a right to be upset, or if I'm just overly emotional/being a bridezilla. I'm not even mad though, honestly I'm just hurt, and I've talked to my BM a little bit about it but she's the kind of person who avoids confrontation at all costs, so she just keeps telling me she doesn't understand why I'm upset and that we'll talk about it later.
Am I overreacting? Would you be upset?