Outdoor wedding advice - near a public park

brookewesson · October 2013

Hi Knotties,

Just a quick questions and needing feedback/advice. I'm getting married on Nov. 24 (43 days!) and the event will be a small family only ceremony (35+ people max) outdoors at a Gazebo. The reception will be in a historic plantation house right next to the gazebo. my concern - the gazebo is basically smack dab in the middle of a public park with a lake. the trees and the lake are gorgeous and the pics will be amazing, but I'm worried that at 1pm on a sunday afternoon we will have folks EVERYWHERE. this is the risk we are taking having it at this location (cheap and gorgeous), so I had the idea to put a sign at the picnic table closest to the gazebo (50 feet away) that said "we humbly request that you find an alternative BBQ location between 1pm and 2pm due to the wedding ceremony in the Gazebo. Thank you for your consideration in helping us celebrate our big day" - my fiance was concerned people would be annoyed and ignore our sign and be loud as a result of our request, but since I'm wording it that way, I can't imagine anyone taking offense. what say you Knotties?

secondly, there is a public restroom that is also about 50 feet from the gazebo. should I bother with posting a sign asking for people to be quiet during our ceremony? or is that over the line? I'd word it the same at the BBQ sign.
any feedback would be much appreciated. thanks !!!

mysticl · October 2013

Did you reserve the picnic table and restroom for exclusive use during your wedding? If not you cannot ask people not to use them or make requests about their behavior. You will just have to hope that people will see you getting married and be polite. Like you said this is the risk you are taking having it at that location.

brookewesson · October 2013

It's a public park, so I'm pretty sure we can't reserve those things. It's worth the risk to me since the location is stunning and the ceremony is small and short. A sunday afternoon may be less crowded too. I just guess I expect people will be respectful when they see a ceremony and honor signage. my FI does not agree.

mysticl · October 2013

I agree with your FI. Some people would use the spot and be loud just because you put those signs up. It could cause them to have a "who are they to tell us we can't use part of a public park?" attitude. I don't know how the park is managed but I could also see you getting in trouble with the park for trying to limit other people's usage of the park.

artbyallie · October 2013

No signs on anything you are not paying to rent

rvg22 · October 2013

We got married in a very popular park last month. It was a beautiful fall Saturday and people were out in large numbers, playing frisbee and having picnics.

I was worried too about how it would go, but people are generally respectful and pretty much everyone kept their distance! People aren't jerks, generally, and any people who are ARE not going to change their behavior because of a sign, you know what I mean? And you are right, it might piss some people off enough to act worse.

Also, I promise you won't care on the day of if some other people are around. Apparently a couple was making out under a blanket really close to where my dad and I were walking in from behind some trees, and I swear I didn't even see them! Also, a group of people were walking down a path near us during the ceremony, it was during an awesome guitar/banjo duet performed by husband's brother and BIL. Anyways, these people walking by said "woohoo!" and waved at us and for some reason I waved my bouquet back at these random people. Hah! They thought that was awesome

I am normally a little self conscious (having other people staring at us during our engagement photo session was TORTURE for me), but on our wedding day I really didn't mind the people everywhere. It will be ok!

Dreamergirl8812 · October 2013

I think you'll be much better off without the signs. People should respect a wedding ceremony when they see one, but trying to dictate what the people do in the rest of the park will just piss some people off.

PnkBride · October 2013

My daughter got married at a public park on the beach. Everyone was very respectful. Many stood at a distance and watched the ceremony. No one did anything to distract from the ceremony.

I think it would be very rude of you to place signs up in a public park.

RebeccaB88 · October 2013

I think if this stuff really bothers you that much, you should find a place for the ceremony that you can rent, just so you can control who is around and who isn't.

AddieCake · October 2013

The signs would be off putting. Anybody with a lick of decency will respect your privacy. Signs won't stop those who have none.

JaneAustensGhost · October 2013

The signs would annoy me. As a member of the public it's my park too and maybe you're interrupting my awesome frisbee. The fact you're getting married is important to you but probably no one else at the park. So no signs. And hopefully everyone else will be just as cool and not in your face.

AroundTheBlock · October 2013

You might want to contact your parks and recreation department, or whatever your civic or county authority is that runs your public parks, and find out their rules for facility use. Often they will in fact reserve a site for a fee. And also, often photo-shoots or weddings require a permit. Your jurisdiction may be more laid back about such things, but it is worth checking. A few loud picnickers won't disrupt your service nearly as much as would a parks services agent walking up and shutting it down for lack of a permit.

weddingmuse · October 2013

I assume you paid a fee to reserve your area for the wedding. That being the case, you do have a reasonable expectation of some privacy for your ceremony for your rental period.

My daughter got married in a state park (and paid a $1600 fee to reserve the site - I always laugh when people say park weddings are cheap). The park rangers put up one official "Reserved for______" sign and one sign on a sawhorse that read "Wedding in Progress. Please respect privacy."

I see no reason why you couldn't do the same.

rvg22 · October 2013

weddingmuse said:

I assume you paid a fee to reserve your area for the wedding. That being the case, you do have a reasonable expectation of some privacy for your ceremony for your rental period.
My daughter got married in a state park (and paid a $1600 fee to reserve the site - I always laugh when people say park weddings are cheap). The park rangers put up one official "Reserved for______" sign and one sign on a sawhorse that read "Wedding in Progress. Please respect privacy."
I see no reason why you couldn't do the same.

^ This seems ok to me because the park officials put up the sign, not the bride and groom (and it looks like an official state park-style sign, you know?). However, I still don't think that any sign is necessary or would change anyone's behavior.

Jen4948 · October 2013

The signs will do nothing to stop jerks from being jerks. If you put them up, it sounds like you're trying to control what is, after all, an area open to the public. The best you can do is tell park officials, and maybe they'll "reserve" the area for you. But these are the hazards of choosing to have your wedding outdoors in a public area.

maryemoo · October 2013

I'm getting married in a city park at the end of next June, and reserved the space in the park for four hours for $100 total. My city (Fort Wayne, IN) has its own website with all of the parks and pavilions listed for rental, along with a rental contract copy. Since we are reserving that space from 10-2 on our wedding day, no one else is allowed there without our permission. This is something you might look into.

short+sassy · October 2013

I agree on the "no signs" unless the park itself is willing to put them up. However, and granted this is a wacky idea, another option would be to hire a few people you know or from Craig's List to sit at the table and be quiet. In essence, "reserving" it.

mysticl · October 2013

weddingmuse said:

I assume you paid a fee to reserve your area for the wedding. That being the case, you do have a reasonable expectation of some privacy for your ceremony for your rental period.
My daughter got married in a state park (and paid a $1600 fee to reserve the site - I always laugh when people say park weddings are cheap). The park rangers put up one official "Reserved for______" sign and one sign on a sawhorse that read "Wedding in Progress. Please respect privacy."
I see no reason why you couldn't do the same.

Because she wants to put signs up on spaces that she is not using for the wedding, that she has not reserved, and has not paid a fee for.

Inkdancer · October 2013

My mom got married on the beach last year. There were some people surfing that day, but everyone was respectful and kept their distance without being asked. As long as it's clearly a wedding space (chairs, decor, something like that) people will mostly be nice. Don't worry!

lauralee1723 · October 2013

When we told my dad we wanted to get married in a park, his first concern was other people being there. This bothers him more than it bothers me. Most people have the decency to be quiet and respectful when they see a wedding going on. I would also be concerned with people seeing your sign and deciding to mess with you just because they can. I say don't do the signs and just trust that people will be decent.

lc07 · October 2013

I would skip the signs. Have the rental company or your coordinator set up the table so that you are using it prior to the ceremony as a "guest sign in" table or something.

clg1213 · October 2013

short+sassy said:

I agree on the "no signs" unless the park itself is willing to put them up. However, and granted this is a wacky idea, another option would be to hire a few people you know or from Craig's List to sit at the table and be quiet. In essence, "reserving" it.

I wouldn't go to CL for "sitters," but my first thought was to just have some folks there early and seated at the table(s) in question. Depending on your area, they might be able to leave a few items there and then go to the gazebo for the ceremony (in some of our parks, this would be fine....obv wouldn't leave anything too valuable and won't work in some areas).

The sign would annoy me and, to be truthful, might send me to the Knot to write about the entitled couple who tried to reserve a public space. That is assuming it is not reservable...if it can be reserved and you didn't do so (I don't think this sounds like the case, but I'm not sure), it is very much an "at your own risk" situation and def not appropriate to try to informally reserve it.

kitty8403 · October 2013

Almost any park will require you to get permits or reservations for the space(s) you intend to use. If your plan is just to show up early in a public space and block things off so you can get it for free, well, there are so many ways this could backfire that I just wouldn't go there unless it's a super-small, informal wedding (and then I'd head for state ground or Forest Service).

When you marry in a public space, you are choosing to give up a certain expectation of privacy. If you have made advance, official arrangements, you regain some, but not all, of those expectations, because at the end of the day, it is *still a public place.*

Unless the park areas you mentioned were specifically reserved and paid for, and the park officials have a sign or marker for you--no, you should not put up your own signs, sorry. That is the gamble you took.

lauralee1723 · October 2013

kitty8403 said:

Almost any park will require you to get permits or reservations for the space(s) you intend to use. If your plan is just to show up early in a public space and block things off so you can get it for free, well, there are so many ways this could backfire that I just wouldn't go there unless it's a super-small, informal wedding (and then I'd head for state ground or Forest Service). When you marry in a public space, you are choosing to give up a certain expectation of privacy. If you have made advance, official arrangements, you regain some, but not all, of those expectations, because at the end of the day, it is *still a public place.* Unless the park areas you mentioned were specifically reserved and paid for, and the park officials have a sign or marker for you--no, you should not put up your own signs, sorry. That is the gamble you took.

In Albuquerque, you can't reserve city parks. They don't even require a permit unless you plan to have certain things at your event, or if your event is an organized sport or a publicized event. So it really depends on what city you live in. It's not really accurate to say that almost any park will require permits or reservations.

maryemoo · October 2013

kitty8403 said:

Almost any park will require you to get permits or reservations for the space(s) you intend to use. If your plan is just to show up early in a public space and block things off so you can get it for free, well, there are so many ways this could backfire that I just wouldn't go there...

THIS IS TRUE--- in fact, you could be asked/told to move your wedding if you have reserved it...What if another bride actually HAS reserved that space, and you just ASSUME it's open? You need to check asap for your own good.

maryemoo · October 2013

Because she wants to put signs up on spaces that she is not using for the wedding, that she has not reserved, and has not paid a fee for.

In most any park I've ever been to, no matter what you want to use the space for, unless you have reserved/paid for it, you have no rights to that space and no rights to block it off from other people using it...always err on the side of safety; assume that there will probably be interference that day and block the area.

maryemoo · October 2013

Unless you're getting married in Yosemite, it shouldn't be too expensive.

ChiGirl2013 · October 2013

Would the plantation even allow you to post signs like this, considering you didn't pay to reserve the table and the bathrooms? I'm thinking not.

We had about the same number of guests when we got married at a gazebo in Savannah, Ga this spring. Not a soul bothered us. Yes, people walked by in the background but for the most part, people are not jerks. Once you start telling them they can't sit at a table in a public park or use the bathroom, they will become jerks just to teach (what they assume to be) the Bridezilla a lesson.

Iloveshanej · October 2013

My friends got married in June at a public lake. There were people around but everyone was pretty respectful. I think posting the signs without the park's permission would be a bad idea.

Dreamergirl8812 · October 2013

Heehee. Every time I see the title of this thread I picture JAshley peeking over a sign saying "Keep Out."

Outdoor wedding advice - near a public park

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