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Alcohol free wedding?

Gloria FredericksGloria Fredericks member
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

I'm getting married in March. My boyfriend and I do not drink and we happened to pick a venue in a town that is dry (just a coincidence!). The venue doesn't include any alcohol in their package, including a cash bar, which means if we have any alcohol, we purchase it and it's open bar.

If we choose to go alcohol free, should we inform guests that it's a dry wedding? Will people be expecting to drink? Is it really that big of a deal? Has anyone ever been to a dry wedding? Did you have fun?

Thanks in advance for any opinions/help.


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Re: Alcohol free wedding?

  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    If you tell people it is dry you run the risk of people trying to byob.  This could be a huge headache.  I assume your friends and family know that neither of you drink, they shouldn't be shocked to find a dry wedding.  

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  • APDSS22APDSS22 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I have been to a dry wedding.  It was earlier in the afternoon (which most dry weddings seem to be), but no one missed the alcohol.  We were having too much fun.  It's not necessary to tell your guests it will be dry but if someone thinks it's important enough to ask you could tell them.
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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    mysticl said:
    If you tell people it is dry you run the risk of people trying to byob.  This could be a huge headache.  I assume your friends and family know that neither of you drink, they shouldn't be shocked to find a dry wedding.  

    Ditto.

    My wedding was dry and I think it was fun and I think other people enjoyed it to.  I have been to several dry weddings and I have greatly enjoyed all of them.

    Disclaimer: My H and I don't drink very much to begin with.  We almost never buy alcohol - usually only having it at weddings or with friends.
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    No need to tell anyone.  As long as you host them properly (ie food and non-alcoholic beverages) you are fine.

    That said, in my area, I've never been to a dry wedding.  If I decided to have one, I would probably have it in the afternoon.  I feel there is an expectation of evening weddings here and a dry reception would be more appropriate for an afternoon event.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I have no objections to dry weddings, but I agree having it in the afternoon might be a better option to lessen the expectation of alcohol. One of the reasons we had a morning ceremony and lunch reception was to lessen that expectation.No need to make an announcement.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited October 2013
    I've been to plenty of them, and they don't bother me in the least. They are definitely still fun, but it's just a different atmosphere than a wet party.  Most of the dry weddings I've been to have been either cake and punch type things, or lunch affairs. I don't think I've been to one in the evening with dancing and all.  The dry weddings I've been to have mainly been for very religious couples who were very young and had small budgets, and who wouldn't have been dancing anyway.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Think about your guest list.  Do most of your friends and family drink at social events?  Do most weddings in your circle involve alcohol?

    If most of your group are drinkers and will expect alcohol, doing the afternoon thing and planning a shorter event is a good idea.  If most of your guests don't drink anyway, they won't really notice.

    Either way, there's no need to give people advance warning.  People don't need to plan ahead to not drink.  
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    People may be expecting to drink, but I don't advise making any announcements ahead of time about whether or not drinks will be available.  If they are, they should be available the whole time free of charge to your guests.  If you have a dry wedding, it would be rude of your guests to complain or leave to look for drinks they can buy.
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  • SomethingBeautiful08SomethingBeautiful08 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    OP - not related to your post, but if your user name is your real life name, I would encourage you to change it. This is an international group of strangers, while most of us are cool, others have been known to use that kind of information to stalk and do other bad things. 

    On topic, we had a dry wedding.  Since it was all in a church and in the afternoon, there was no expectation for it.  People had a good time.  Having it at a spot location where alcohol is not normally served and/or having it in the morning or afternoon really helps manage those expectations. 
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  • JellyBean52513JellyBean52513 member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    edited October 2013
    I've been to two weddings. One had alcohol (couldn't tell you if it was open bar or not, as I wasn't old enough to get my own drinks anyway and had someone sneak them for us the whole time!) and the other was a dry wedding. It was for a close friend of my ex-FI and I who told us, on graduation day from college, "Hey, S and I are getting married tonight at 8. We'd love it if you could come." It took us completely by surprise but we went to the wedding, hosted at the home of a friend of his, and there were about 25 people in attendance. Food was prepared by his friend's family and served buffet-style, a sheet cake was cut after dinner, and a toast was done with sparkling cider. There was no first dance or any other "tradition" like that; just a marriage ceremony, food, cake, and cider. It was very simple and sweet, but not exactly a "fun" type of event. Given the circumstances, we really had no expectations of anything (especially considering that the bride was 7 months pregnant, so she wouldn't have been drinking anyway). 

    This is when "know your crowd" is helpful, because only you know the people you plan to invite & can reasonably anticipate how they will react. I know I always associated weddings with at LEAST a champagne toast (being 23 years old and only having been to one wedding in my life at that point....) but it didn't devalue the meaning of the event just because they didn't serve alcohol.
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  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I've been to two dry weddings. The first one announced it, so a lot of people showed up with flasks and got drunk anyway, which PO'd the bride and groom.

    The second one wasn't announced. It wasn't a big deal to me, but other people seemed annoyed. It didn't feel like a true "party" atmosphere, so a lot of people left right after the cake was cut, so that's something to take into consideration.

    Bottom line: you can certainly have a dry wedding, but you have to know your crowd. In my family, alcohol is expected, even if it's "just beer and wine". In other families, it's no big deal.
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